Do not be alarmed about TikTok

Teens and tweens have flooded Scott Morrison’s social media accounts begging the PM not to ban viral video app TikTok.

Picture: Olivier Douliery/AFP

Won’t somebody think of the children? Teens and tweens have flooded Scott Morrison’s social media accounts begging the Prime Minister not to follow India’s lead and ban viral video app TikTok in Australia. Morrison says he had “no idea what TikTok was” until his March press conference exchange with the ABC’s Andrew Probyn was parodied. Please apply a sweeping sic to the following complaints. Julz tweeted, “pls don’t ban tiktok scomo i need it so i can make fun of americans”; Georgia pleaded, “please please please … doing something like that is taking away our freedom”; and Chad suggested, “if u ban tiktok genz will overthrow u”. Ominous!

Running out of time?

It was Nationals backbencher George Christensen who called for TikTok to be banned and investigated under foreign interference laws. Liberal senator Jim Molan suggested it might be a “data collection service disguised as social media” and Liberal MP Andrew Hastie, chairman of the intelligence and security joint committee, warned the app could be sharing private info with Beijing. TikTok is owned by Chinese company ByteDance and has an estimated 1.6 million users Down Under (most under 25), and 800 million globally. It has denied sharing information with the Chinese Communist Party but it has censored videos that mention Tiananmen and Tibetan independence. On Tuesday TikTok called time on operations in Hong Kong “in light of recent events”. That’s code for the new national security laws that would make it “difficult, if not impossible” for the company to keep its pledge not to share data. TikTok Australia opened its first office in Sydney last month, claiming it stores users’ data in Singapore. So, will new Aussie general manager Lee Hunter front up to the foreign inference through social media committee? There’s time; the committee isn’t due to report until May 2022.

Top spin

Who has TikTok recruited to shill on its behalf to the government? Newgate Communications, according to the lobbyist register. As one of the country’s largest corporate affairs outfits, Newgate is familiar with the corridors of power. Former Liberal MP Matt Williams is an associate partner and National Disability Insurance Scheme Minister Stuart Robert hired two Newgate staff after last year’s federal election. The spinners’ eclectic list of clients includes American Express, Bunnings, Dominos Pizza, eBay, Google, Hertz, law firm Minter Ellison, Officeworks, Qantas, the Sydney Swans and Whitehaven Coal.

Going viral

The most enthusiastic adopter of TikTok in federal parliament? Liberal MP Andrew Laming. He regularly posts footage around his Queensland electorate of Bowman to his 42 followers, visiting businesses and bagging the Labor Party. A recent video captioned “over COVID” features Laming performing 25 chin-ups in a door frame (an impressive feat for 15 seconds) to the NSFW song Captain Hook by rapper Megan Thee Stallion. Its racy lyrics are hardly repeatable in this family newspaper, containing the B, D, F, N and P words.

Ich bin ein Berliner

“We’re all Melburnians now … we’re all Victorians now,” the Prime Minister declared in JFK-style solidarity with Bleak City’s case of deja flu. But seconds later Morrison handballed all that goodwill when he said: “Where the AFL grand final is being played at the moment is one of the furthest things from my mind. It really is.” There’s no way someone from footy-mad Melbourne would say that.

Snap, crackle, pop

Victoria’s COVID hot spots have popped the Canberra Bubble™. Das capital has reported three new cases, its first in more than a month. There may be no Viking clap on Saturday, with ticket sales paused for the Raiders v Storm NRL game at Canberra Stadium. The Canberra Writers Festival also has had to put events on hold, hours after announcing next month’s line-up. Fingers crossed it won’t affect the hottest ticket: the first live public appearance (albeit in disguise) by the former military intelligence officer known as Witness J, who was subject to a secret trial and 15 months in prison for breaching national security laws.

Sicktorian snitches

Victorian Police Minister Lisa Neville said the number of calls to the lockdown inquiry (and dob-in) hotline jumped from 70 a day in May to 810 on Tuesday. In NSW, Premier Gladys Berejiklian was salty: “I’m concerned with the lack of compliance in NSW of some … cafes and restaurants, basic things like sharing a salt and pepper shaker. ” Basic things — like screening Jetstar flights at Sydney Airport, for example. Will this be Ruby Princess 2.0?

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