Clive’s Gallipoli

LABOR’S Mark Butler may think Clive Palmer has been a victim of a Jedi mind trick from Greg Hunt.

Collateral damage at the National Press Club members carpark.

LABOR’S Mark Butler may think Clive Palmer has been a victim of a Jedi mind trick from Greg Hunt, but you have to take off your hat to Palmer for knowing which spirit to invoke over his emissions trading scheme recalibration: “This will be an important step forward for Australia in 2015 as we commemorate the Anzac Centenary honouring the service and sacrifice of all those who have worn the Australian uniform.” And, as he swept out of the room with Climate Change Authority chairman Bernie Fraser and Walrus Affairs Minister Hunt, he sledged our colleague, Sid Maher: “Just because you hate the environment …” Lest we forget.

He came, he saw, he ate

ONE of Anthony Albanese’s duties yesterday was to launch Kevern write a book, a selection from @Rudd2000, the Kevin Rudd parody Twitter account in which Scott Bridges and Stephen Owen tackled federal politics with bodgy spelling and the sort of syntax that would make Yoda sound like David Attenborough. Albo suffered one of the lesser manglings, becoming the cataclysmically ravenous Ablo, who ultimately ended the adventure when he ate “Kevern”. Kevin Rudd chipped in from abroad yesterday, tweeting, “Went to find copy of Kevern book but think Ablo ate them all.” As Albo said cheerily, “It treats everyone the same: like shit.” Though he queried the gluttony theme: “I don’t think I’m the biggest bloke in the building. I encourage the authors to introduce themselves to the member for Dawson.” At which point in chimed Philip Ruddock: “I thought they were talking about egos.” Ruddock, of course, delights in having the piss taken out of him. We’re not sure if the absent Scott Morrison does — he sometimes has the demeanour of a man who’d only laugh at kittens burning in a barrel (but this perception is surely wrong). But he’s bound to be chuffed to know money raised by the book will be donated to the UNHCR under a garbled version of his name.

Battle of lone pine

JUDGING by this well and truly shirt-fronted pine log, it looks like someone had fun exiting the National Press Club members’ carpark. Troy Buswell has not been sighted in the area.

Collateral damage at the National Press Club members carpark.

In the lap of the odds

IT’S not often enough we get gambling advice from a foreign minister. But following on from yesterday’s item, Julie Bishop has offered Strewth this thought: “If I were a bookmaker I would not be placing long odds on a (Tanya) Plibersek challenge before the next election.” Noted.

In a word

FORMER Labor president Warren Mundine put in his two bits on the leaked Nova Peris emails. If he gets a time machine, he might want to go back and finesse this: “The only thing that’s of interest is whether the taxpayers got bang for the dollar.”

Sliding doors

EYEBROWS were raised when old-school Labor senator Joe Bullock wandered into a function organised by David Leyonhjelm and Australian Marriage Equality, a screening of the documentary on the battle against the California ban on same-sex marriage, The Case Against Eight. He grabbed a drink and some canapes and greeted surprised colleagues. It wasn’t until he expressed his own surprise at just who was interested in forest industry that he discovered he had entered the wrong room and the forestry function was down the hallway.

From pies to terror

THERE’S a rumour whipping around one small corner of Western Australia that the Australian Federal Police shut down a terrorist cell in the sleepy fruit and winegrowing town of Mount Barker ahead of the Anzac Albany event this weekend. Our colleague Paige Taylor spoke with Plantagenet Shire president Ken Clements, who sighed wearily and said the AFP had been in Albany to get ready for the weekend centenary commemorations about a month ago and were on their way home to Perth when they stopped in at the Mt Barker Country Bakery, not least because it is the reigning state champion in the Aussie Gourmet Pie and Aussie Meat Pie categories. Some locals have apparently “enhanced” those bare facts into a raid on local Afghan refugees working on farms in the area. Clements said he had to hose down the story several times and the local wallopers were over the novelty of getting calls about it. The feds confirm there’ve been no raids or arrests at Mount Barker. But the pies are good. One of them has minced wagyu.

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