Christmas message

HE’S got the girth, but does Clive Palmer really have all that it takes to make Santa?

HE’S got the girth, but does Clive Palmer really have all that it takes to make Santa? His media minion Andrew Crook issued a grandiloquent statement declaring the “member for Fairfax and leader of the Palmer United Party, Clive Palmer, has said local community organisations in his electorate will again receive a donation drawn directly from the next instalment of his parliamentary salary. Mr Palmer said he would continue to keep his promise to donate his parliamentary salary to community organisations in his electorate.” One of our humble scribes asked Crook if he could provide a breakdown of this seasonal largesse, eliciting a brisk response of “No.” Or, in other words, “Bah, humbug!”

On our selection

OUR distinguished colleague Troy Bramston yesterday reported on the books our political leaders had read this year. Since then the suggestions have been flooding in for titles they mustn’t miss. A number of Tony Abbott’s colleagues concerned over the running of his office have joked Harvard psychologist Martha Stout’s volume from a few years ago, The Sociopath Next Door, may be useful. Strewth hears suggestions that the South Australian Liberals have held a whip-around to purchase Defence Minister David Johnston a copy of Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, a large-print edition so he doesn’t miss a thing. Further reader nominations are welcome.

Insider information

TRAINED Canberra observers spotted a couple of high players having a meeting at My Cafe in Manuka and one was taking notes. The first was former head of Prime Minister and Cabinet, Ian Watt, who finished his term recently, and the second was the new head of Prime Minister and Cabinet, former Howard adviser and ambassador to Washington Michael Thawley, who began his new job last week. And the one taking notes? Thawley, and lots of them.

Cost of business

JUDICIAL wit is legendary, but Strewth suspects a moment of mirth in the matter of Craig Thomson yesterday was unintentional. Confusion arose over just what proportion of his withdrawals with his union credit card the former MP might have allegedly spent on ladies of the night. County Court judge Carolyn Douglas said she was unsure whether the going rate for their services was more expensive in Sydney than Melbourne. Counsel Greg James QC said, or vice versa. No pun intended.

Be very afraid

AMONG bodies abolished by the government yesterday: the Rabies Preparedness Working Group. Please insert your own “lobbyists are frothing at the mouth” gag here.

Weird season

CHRISTMAS is a time for ... lists. Lists of presents, lists for cards, lists of invitees — and for PR people, all those lists that wrap the year. The Science Media Centre has been no laggard in this regard, with its guide to the top 10 weirdest science stories of the year. Among the highlights: a 10-second snog transfers as many as 80 million bacteria; a detailed analysis of 30 tufts of hair from around the world thought to be from yetis, Bigfoot and other cryptozoological creatures showed they all came from bears, dogs, cows, horses and plain old human beings; and that in a comparison of the death tolls in hurricanes with male and female names between 1950 and 2012, they found the female hurricanes, on average, had killed more people, possibly because assumptions that males were the more aggressive and dangerous sex might lead people to underestimate the danger posed by female hurricanes. And boffins even baited hipsters with University of NSW research indicating beards were attractive to women only when they were a rarity.

Bad timing

THE tasteful tweet of the day award for Monday goes to journalism academic-activist Wendy Bacon for this effort: “Clearing of cars in CBD gives you idea of how pleasant carless city might be (despite context).” Such a dainty qualifier on the end.

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