Bye, George!

Spotted in question time: a masked-up George Christensen reading Live Not by Lies: A Manual for Christian Dissidents by conservative commentator Rod Dreher.

George Christensen catches up on his reading. Picture: Gary Ramage

Spotted in question time: a masked-up George Christensen reading Live Not by Lies: A Manual for Christian Dissidents by conservative commentator Rod Dreher. According to the book blurb, it “draws on the wisdom of Christian survivors of Soviet persecution to warn American Christians of approaching dangers” including “telltale sales of ‘soft’ totalitarianism”. Dreher relocated to Budapest earlier this year, praising Hungary’s “soft authoritarianism” as a sort of safe space for right-wing Americans keen to escape the “hegemonic” liberalism of President Joe Biden. We’re reliably informed the book is more Brave New World than Nineteen Eighty-Four, but predictably critical of identity politics. “Technology and consumerism hasten the possibility of a corporate surveillance state,” it says. “And the pandemic, having put millions out of work, leaves our country especially vulnerable to demagogic manipulation.” Could this explain the misinformed rant by the Nationals MP about the “madness” of lockdowns? Or as it was described by Labor senator Murray Watt, “playing footsie with the far-right”. (Now there’s an image that will haunt our dreams.) Christensen was later condemned by parliament … but in not so many words by the Prime Minister. “There was a 15-minute speech from myself,” according to Anthony Albanese. “Followed by 15 minutes from Scott Morrison in which he did not mention the name of George Christensen … It was like Voldemort from Harry Potter. He was the person who couldn’t be named.” Strewth suspects Christensen is just preparing for post-parliamentary life in Mackay, which he told subscribers to his fortnightly newsletter will include an alternative news website called Nation First and a regular YouTube show. Meanwhile on the crossbench, Craig Kelly is keeping a quarantine video diary. In one entry, shot in his Canberra Bubble™ courtyard, Kelly donned a leather jacket and chucked a ball against a wall while sitting in front of a Red Ensign Australian flag. Which, according to Prime Minister and Cabinet, should be flown only at sea by registered merchant ships.

Craig Kelly having a normal one in quaratine pic.twitter.com/Qix7bJPalE

— CAMERONWILSON (@cameronwilson) August 10, 2021

Causation v correlation

The latest vaccination figures are in. Only 10.2 per cent of people over the age of 15 are fully vaccinated in Mackay, with at least 27.1 per cent receiving one dose. It’s the second-lowest in the country behind Karratha, Port Hedland and Broome in WA, on 8.6 per cent.

Baltimore's vaccine campaign is HILARIOUS 😂

Get the vax, Debra! pic.twitter.com/yWbjkczVn5

— Britni Danielle (@BritniDWrites) August 9, 2021

Dewey belong together

House of Representatives Speaker Tony Smith handed out a rare accolade at the end of question time to locked-down Labor frontbencher Chris Bowen. “I will commend the member for McMahon for having the best backdrop I’ve seen and I think if everyone else models themselves on him, that would be good.” Smith’s strict rules say only blank or Hansard book backgrounds are allowed, a decree Bowen followed when he dialled in from his Fairfield office.

Scott Morrison must think Australians have the memory of gold fish. He says stuff and thinks we won't remember. You can't believe anything this man says 👇 pic.twitter.com/yBP4vgbESX

— Chris Bowen (@Bowenchris) August 10, 2021

Delta be damned

You can’t stop progress! Or taxpayer-funded awards nights. The Australian Trade and Investment Commission is recruiting an event management team for its 2021 Australian Export Awards, hosted by Trade Minister Dan Tehan in Parliament House on November 25. The proposed price tag for the cocktail party is between $165,000 and $220,000 including GST, according to tender documents. It’s the 59th year for the knees up, and due to Covid restrictions it will be a “hybrid” ceremony with 140 in-person guests and many more on Zoom. It’s quite the to-do, with a “theme”, “feature performer” and “celebratory effects” during the announcement of the big gong — Australian Exporter of the Year. Will there be an in memoriam mention to the industries hit by China’s tariffs — wine, barley, beef and seafood? Fingers crossed Agriculture Minister David Littleproud hands out his Make Agriculture Sexy Again Award, for the most alluring exporter. Austrade applicants will need to find a cost-effective tech solution to allow for interaction between the physical and online winners, plus a teleprompter for the celebrity MC. Plus provide a fully captioned video replay within seven days for YouTube, and a two to three-minute highlights package of the ceremony for promotional purposes.

Waiting for Shenko

Strewth receives daily complaints about Premier TV — starring Gladys Berejiklian, Annastacia Palaszczuk and Daniel Andrews — being too long or too short. It’s nothing compared to the eight-hour press conference by Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko. Our highlight? In response to US penalties upon his authoritarian regime, the 66-year-old declared: “You can go choke on your sanctions.”

Friendly advice:
To better your mental health, stop watching these daily hollywood press conference performances.

Say no to Grifting Premiers! #mentalhealth

— Andrew Bogut (@andrewbogut) August 11, 2021

Get on the beers

There’s a new froth Whitlam on the market for Melbanians mourning the extension to their sixth lockdown. And it’s aptly titled the Dan Anbrews, after the Victorian Premier. Public Brewery Co in Croydon is behind the beer with a “subtle fruity aroma”, made from Amarillo and Cascade hops. They encourage everyone to enjoy a six pack ($25) or slab ($70) at home in a North Face jacket. “Just like Dan, this beer is grateful to those Victorians who have been following the rules, keeping safe and doing all they can to stop the spread of this virus. This unprecedented beer encourages lightheartedness, fast and fruitful consumption, but note — social distancing is a must.” Tragically, this 2.9 per cent tinny of Covid memorabilia is available only in Victoria.

[e-mail]