Andrew Constance’s three-card trick
Here’s a surefire way to eliminate NSW government debt, all thanks to John Barilaro and Andrew Constance.
Earlier this week, Constance said, without a hint of irony, “people have had a gutful of politics”. Correct! So who will the Coalition run?
“Back to ( John ) Barilaro … oh wait,” state Labor MP Chris Minns mused.
Back to Barilaro....oh wait. https://t.co/UAlUb8UabV
— Chris Minns (@MinnsChris) May 6, 2020
A reference to the disgruntled pelican — sorry, NSW Nationals leader — and the now awkwardly timed leak of his abusive text messages to federal Nats leader Michael McCormack . Plus the revelation Barra may have called Constance a see-you-next-Tuesday (sound it out). Another fatality of the Coup de Constance?
“You could eliminate the debt of the NSW state government by selling tickets to the next cabinet meeting that has Barilaro & Constance in attendance,” Labor senator AnthonyChisholm suggested. Sign. Us. Up.
Nominations close Friday morning and this paper’s Peter van Onselen has a suggestion: “Liberals should think about parachuting Georgina Downer into Eden-Monaro … And Warren Mundine can switch parties to the Nationals and run for them.”
I wish to let people know I have decided not to contest Liberal Party preselection for the seat of Eden-Monaro. #nswpol #auspol pic.twitter.com/bSbN92Z3p7
— Andrew Constance MP (@AndrewConstance) May 6, 2020
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Timing is everything
How many Mal Meningas did Constance’s candidacy last? Potentially none. Unlike Mal, the NSW Transport Minister didn’t make it to his first interview.
According to RN Breakfast, Constance cancelled his Wednesday appearance with minutes to spare.
For the record: the question that brought big Mal down in 2001? “Why are you running?” The rugby league great lasted 28 seconds: “I was, I’m buggered. I’m sorry, I have to resign.”
To confound the confusion, Constance was pleased with the juxtaposition: “There’s a good person to be compared to, let me tell you! Mal’s a champion, so I’m happy for that comparison.”
More than happy to be mentioned in the same vein as this guy... â³ https://t.co/ZN18b8xARK pic.twitter.com/3T8WtdHqbC
— Andrew Constance MP (@AndrewConstance) May 6, 2020
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Illegal handshake?
After the whiplash, Nats deputy David Littleproud told Sky his partyroom would happily welcome Barra to Canberra.
“That’s the good thing about the Nats, you have a spit, shake hands and get on with the job.” Then get arrested for breaking social distancing? But will the Liberals welcome back Tony Abbott? Malcolm Turnbull’ssuccessor, Dave Sharma, told the ABC he was “neutral” about the former PM’s political return.
“It’s up to Tony,” he said. “I don’t favour any candidate. Whoever the electors throw up, I will work with them and sit alongside them.” Doth he protest too much?
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Ray of sunshine and contrition
Much like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get when Scott Morrison phones into Ray Hadley’s 2GB radio show: warmth and chumminess, impatience and temper, sarcasm and silence, anger and forgiveness.
The shock jock surprised ScoMo on Wednesday with an apology years in the making. But for what? There’s been more than a few bromance blues. As in 2015, when Hadley asked Morrison to swear on a bible he had not betrayed Abbott during Turnbull’ssuccessful spill.
Morrison arrived for that robust encounter with a hard hat in hand and uttered “mate” an astounding 18 times. But this mea culpa related to the 2017 “dumping” of their weekly chat, when Hadley accused the then treasurer of “lying” about skipping 2GB to appear on the ABC. Quelle horror.
At the time, Hadley sprayed: “He’s become boring, he doesn’t say anything, he’s full of platitudes and any time we talk about the opinion polls, he waxes lyrical.” Yet it seems all is forgotten. Quoth 2020 Hadley: “You’ll end up one of our great prime ministers. I think you have handled yourself with class, dignity and distinction and a level of energy I’ve rarely seen. So accept my sincere apologies.”
Radio host Ray Hadley has offered an apology to Prime Minister Scott Morrison almost five years after demanding the then-Social Services Minister swear on the Bible over the Liberal leadership spill.https://t.co/4Lkbrjd90d
— The Daily Telegraph (@dailytelegraph) May 6, 2020
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Bill’s the cool dad in the scene
Watch out DJ Albo! MC BillyBob Shorten dropped the mic during his weekly spin on Today.
“I’ve got three kids and spend about 150 nights a year away as a politician and for the last month and a half, you know, I know it’s been terrible for a lot of people, but I’ve got to put my hand up and say some of it’s been OK,” Shorten explained.
“I know my kids better now than I did six weeks ago. My oldest boy (Rupert) is explaining to me his love of rap music — and … he really knows what’s the latest in the scene.”
Host David Campbell asked: “In the scene? He is down with the beats? Are you spitting bars with him at home?”
Shorten said: “He was trying to explain to me where the best bands are from Mount Druitt to Hampton Park and I’m going, oh yeah. And I’ve got my 10-year-old and she’s ah, her music is more sophisticated than mine, too.”
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And he’s staying pizza-safe, too
But Bill has been keeping busy. After posting a video about the tracing-not-tracking COVIDSafe app not working on iPhones, one cheeky tweeter replied: “Mr Shorten, my Dominos Pizza app is also not working properly. The countdown timer thing is always incorrect for arrival. Could you please complain about this as well?”
Always sticking up for the little guy, Shorten got involved: “Look, a bit outside my portfolio, but always happy to give a chop out where I can — hey @Dominos_AU, can you help?”
Look, a bit outside my portfolio, but always happy to give a chop out where I can 🤷â€â™‚ï¸ â€“ hey @Dominos_AU, can you help? https://t.co/XvGbPO4bJ2
— Bill Shorten (@billshortenmp) May 6, 2020
Within half an hour, the pizza company replied and promised to get on to it right away, joking: “We all know an app is of national importance in these unprecedented times, we just didn’t know it would be ours!”
We all know an app is of national importance in these unprecedented times, we just didn't know it would be ours! Thanks for the heads up @billshortenmp, we'll get the team onto it right away. 🙂ðŸ•
— Domino's Australia (@Dominos_AU) May 6, 2020
strewth@theaustralian.com.au
Libs should be-Ware what they say about JWH
Could things get any worse for the Liberals in Hughes? Well, strap in. Diary can reveal that Liberal candidate Jenny Ware once called John Winston Howard ‘out of touch’.
Believe in your selfie, Andrew
Kevin Rudd appears to have met his selfie match in Andrew Charlton.
If anyone constructs a Mal Meninga Museum of Political Brevity, a small wing should be dedicated to Andrew Constance … the man who eight weeks after declaring he was quitting state politics put his hand up to enter the federal arena via Eden-Monaro then less than 24 hours later changed his mind and exited stage right.