Anthony Albanese playing the dating game

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in search of the keys to The Lodge must be in want of a wife.

The “Hot Albo” portrait. Picture: Facebook

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in search of the keys to The Lodge must be in want of a wife.

Not that we want to get ahead of ourselves!

All that is yet known is that the leader of Labor in the House – yes, we used to say “the leader of the Opposition” but apparently that formulation has fallen out of favour – is dating.

And how could it be otherwise? No way would a man who looks like this – see picture above! – stay single in Sydney for long.

OK, it’s not a recent photo.

It was taken when Anthony Albanese was at uni, and it’s known as the “Hot Albo” shot and who can’t see why? He was a good-looking young man. And he doesn’t want anyone to forget. It’s also one of 10 shots of your alternative prime minister in the “profile” section of his Facebook page.

Bunny trap

Also plastered all over Albo’s Facebook page is Labor’s preferred slogan for the pandemic: Isolated, But Not Alone. And so it now seems.

Having separated from Carmel Tebbutt in 2019, Albo was revealed on the weekend to be dating Sydney-based Jodie Haydon, 41, and how did they meet? Apparently, he was addressing a convention of 250 people in Melbourne, when he mournfully inquired as to whether there might be any fellow bunnies — Rabbitoh fans — in the audience. She put up her hand, and now they’ve been caught kissing, and where? At Sydney’s China Doll (is there a message to Dan Andrews there?)

Anthony Albanese has been spotted wining and dining his new love interest. Read how they met, why they bonded — and why the coronavirus helped the ALP leader’s new romance flourish.https://t.co/bSuDtRkQ3r

— The Daily Telegraph (@dailytelegraph) June 6, 2020

Alone in The Lodge

Just out of curiosity, how many Australian PMs haven’t been married? Answer: two.

John McEwen was a widower; and Julia Gillard didn’t ever marry Tim Mathieson, because she didn’t believe in marriage, not even for gay people, remember that?

The dancing doonas

Speaking of the dancing doona, there is a transcript missing from the PM’s website, and we think we know why. Scott Morrison was visiting the wags at KIIS FM Melbourne when the following exchange took place with co-hosts Jason “Jase” Hawkins and Polly “PJ” Harding:

Morrison: “We need to get things moving again. We’ve had great success combating this virus so far. We can’t be complacent about it but you know, you’ve got to get out from under the doona sometime.”

Jase: “Well, she wants to get to New Zealand to get under the doona.”

PJ (who has a boyfriend in New Zealand): “I do, that’s true.” You can’t record the PM blushing in a transcript, but you know it’s there.

Not a joking matter

But back to Dan Andrews; you know he hates his nickname, “Chairman Dan”?

He gets all grumpy when people use it, so of course they’re all doing it, including those who pretend to be on his side.

But maybe it’s time for a new nickname. Because the wining and dining they’re doing at Spring Street, he’s reminding us more of Imelda Marcos.

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews.

Freedom of Information data says pollies in the caged state (exceptions made for protests) spent $1m on food and drink last year.

That’s twice the $500,000 a year spent by the previous administration, so maybe he’s aiming for Champagne Dan?

Meanwhile, there’s a spoof video going around, starring the Chairman, and it goes something like this: “From today, we have handed full control of Victoria to Beijing … we will hand over ports, we will build many Chinese factories, we will teach Mandarin.”

The voiceover is actually in Mandarin, so actually I don’t know what he’s really saying, could be anything, but there are quite a few commentators who think it’s real.

“This is traitorous!” says one.

“Somebody has to get the Prime Minister to step in,” says another.

It goes on: “This is a joke, right?”

Right. Yes, it’s a joke, or else he’s beyond satire?

Boycott boycott

The BBC yesterday released its line-up for Test commentary this season, and it doesn't include Geoff Boycott.

It could be that he’s nearly 80, and recently underwent a quadruple heart bypass, and there’s still COVID all around. It could also be the uproar over him getting a knighthood in 2019, having been convicted of assaulting his girlfriend.

His care factor appears low: “I would like to thank (the BBC) for a wonderful 14 years,” he wrote, yesterday. “I also wish to thank all those that have said how much they have enjoyed my commentary, and for those that haven’t, too bad.”

[e-mail]