A room of one’s own

Mark McGowan will be forced to spend two weeks in self-isolation after the Federal Court ruled he must travel to Sydney for his battle against Clive Palmer.

Illustration: Johannes Leak

Is there such a thing as closed-border karma?

Mark McGowan will be forced to spend two weeks in self-isolation after the Federal Court ruled he must travel to Sydney for his defamation battle against Clive Palmer.

WA Premier Mark McGowan. Picture: Matt Jelonek/The West Australian

Judge Michael Lee rejected the West Australian Premier’s request to give evidence remotely, via a video-link from Perth, instead ordering McGowan to appear in person at the end of February. The same goes for Sandgroper Attorney-General John Quigley.

Under WA’s strict Covid rules – which the Premier extended indefinitely last Thursday, blaming a surge of Omicron cases in other states – a 14-day stint in quarantine is required for re-entry.

The irony isn’t lost on us that the High Court threw out Palmer’s attempt to challenge WA’s “unconstitutional” hard border in 2020.

As politicians, McGowan and Quigley are both eligible to seek an exemption, but Strewth understands the pair has decided against special treatment, and will instead suffer through the self-imposed exile.

John Quigley.

Fair enough — by his own admission, Palmer is unvaccinated.

It’s not all bad news, though: Virgin is currently flogging return tickets from Perth to Sydney for just $500. What a bargain!

Palmer kicked off the legal showdown in August 2020, claiming he was brought into “hatred, ridicule and contempt” when the premier referred to him as the “enemy of West Australia”, “the enemy of the state” and “the enemy of Australia”.

McGowan counter-claimed that his reputation had been damaged on eight occasions, including when the Queensland mining magnate and wannabe senator suggested he had “abused” the parliamentary system and lied to the public.

Legal eagles were disappointed to hear that the defamation trial, which was scheduled to begin on Monday, has been delayed by two weeks so it will not clash with state parliament’s sitting calendar.

Clive Palmer.

(And because the WA Legislative Assembly doesn’t allow politicians to participate remotely.)

It’s now scheduled to run from February 14 to 17, and again on February 26 to 28.

Palmer will give evidence in the earlier session, with the Perthanalities slated for cross-examination in the second.

We can’t to wait to hear the text message exchanges read out in open court. BYO popcorn.

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A nasty cold

David Littleproud.

Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce’s department is not the only office bulk-buying rapid antigen tests.

Agriculture Minister David Littleproud’s public servants have paid more than $72,600 for kits this month alone, according to tender documents seen by this column.

The Department of Agriculture, Water and the Environment’s taxpayer spend includes $30,008 to purchase RATs from … drum roll, please … Peter Gutwein’s Tasmanian government!

According to the department, the tests were sourced for the Polar Medical Unit by the Australian Antarctic Division in Hobart.

Why do expeditioners need RATs in Antarctica?

Despite being one of the most ice-olated locations in the world, the South Pole is not immune to Covid.

The Belgian Princess Elisabeth Station is the latest super-spreader location.

Eleven fully vaxxed researchers have testing positive over the past month, after the arrival of a team from South Africa.

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No rest for the wicket

Richard Colbeck. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Martin Ollman

Could this be Richard Colbeck’s golden duck?

The Aged Care and Sports Minister accepted an invitation from Cricket Tasmania to attend the fifth Ashes Test on January 14 … the same day he declined to front up to a Covid-19 committee.

In a letter to Labor chair Katy Gallagher, Colbeck claimed he could not justify “diverting the time and resources” of his office as the pandemic was at a “critical point”.

He’s not wrong – more than 50 people died of Covid in Australia on January 14.

“Whilst the department and I both recognise the importance of accountability to the Senate, including scrutiny of the Australian government’s Covid-19 response, I am concerned about the impact of the timing of this hearing,” Colbeck wrote.

Yet the Tasmania-based minister wasn’t too busy to dine out on some free corporate hospitality and watch Australia defeat England by 146 runs in Hobart.

Colbeck’s office assured Strewth that he attended only one day of play, despite being gifted three days of exclusive access by Cricket Tasmania, adding that the action did not start until late afternoon.

The week the minister responsible for aged care was at the cricket for 3 days:

🏡 40% of Aust’s aged care homes were in lockdown
🦠 more than 7000 infections in aged care, and
👩🏼‍⚕️1000s of staff were working 24/7 to manage the crisis.

Older Australians deserve better. #auspolpic.twitter.com/0MeDnE91BM

— Katy Gallagher (@SenKatyG) January 25, 2022

“Minister Colbeck’s commitment and dedication in his role as Minister for Senior Australians and Aged Care Services has never been greater,” a spokesman said, before accusing Labor of attempting to “redirect resources” away from the Health Department for “political purposes”.

However, this isn’t the minister’s first swing and miss.

Here’s a few highlights from Colbeck’s colourful CV: didn’t know the number of aged-care deaths in Victoria (August 2020); held a press conference on the aged care royal commission report, which described the government’s approach as “the minimum commitment it could get away with”, without giving journalists time to read it (March 2021); released the government’s RC response during budget lock-up (March 2021); didn’t know how many aged-care workers had got a jab (June 2021); and ignored warnings that there needed to be a vaccine-tracking system for aged-care workers (June 2021).

Then there’s Omicron, boosters and the ongoing RAT shortage.

Have we passed the incompetence peak yet?

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Batted an eyelid

Jacqui Lambie.

Jacqui Lambie offered this up on Colbeck’s latest lbw.

“What really pisses me off about this is there’ll be absolutely zero consequences,” she said. “Because if you’re a Morrison government minister, you’re allowed to do anything, so long as you promise not to challenge the PM.”

But wait, there’s more.

“If Richard Colbeck wants to have more time to spend at the cricket, he can resign. And he can buy his own ticket like everyone else who was there.”

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From Russia, with love

Vladimir Putin.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

And nobody can stop a Russian invasion, according to Aleksey Pavlovsky.

In a rare interview, Vladimir Putin’s representative in Canberra denied any plans for a war with Ukraine. “Isn’t it a funny way to prepare an invasion by just gathering troops on the border and let them sit there for months?” Pavlovsky pontificated.

“When you prepare an invasion, you just do it promptly.”

Pavlovsky said the decision to withdraw diplomatic staff from Kiev embassies “would be funny if it wasn’t so sad”. But then he added this curious caveat.

Pavlovsky: “Sanctions don’t work when applied to Russia.”

Q: “So you’re saying nothing Australia could do will have any impact?”

Pavlovsky: “I said what I said.”

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