If swim cap fits, make sure you wear it

A FRIEND produces a fuchsia bathing cap with petals. Think Dorothy Lamour, without the chinstrap. I don't have the heart to warn her of potential hazards ahead.

A similar cap once caused me a great deal of trouble in a public swimming pool. No charges were laid but friends were horrified when I confessed to half-drowning a small boy who had baited me about my antique headgear.

Miss Fuchsia should be safe enough: she's planning to wear the cap to aqua aerobics where it should go down a treat. I'd picked up my cap at Boots in London and worn it without attracting comment at a dismal pool in the East End. But caps come loaded with cultural complexity: back home, I discovered nothing but a Speedo would do. We might think we're mavericks, but when it comes to swimming caps, we prefer not to stand out in the lane.

Still we're not the only ones with strong ideas about aquatic headgear. In Italy last year, my sister-in-law scandalised the locals when she charged up and down the piscina without a head covering. Her freestyle was formidable but she was eventually intercepted and forced to don a cap before being allowed to resume.

No one, it was explained, was permitted in the pool without headgear. Even hairless babies had to wear caps when they went for a little float. It's good for public hygiene but it's hard to imagine Australians falling into line.

Then again, Italians pursue cleanliness with passion. They adore cleaning agents and happily patronise stores devoted to products for sanitising every part of the body and home. When you're that keen on clean, it's no biggie to keep the public pool pristine. At our local last year, no one even dreamed of walking poolside without rubber thongs or slip-ons: bare feet being as shocking as bare breasts. Mothers covered their stilettos with disposable plastic booties while watching their kids. Everybody covered themselves in large bathing coats, a fashion item no longer seen on our beaches, let alone at swimming pools. All of which suggests you can learn a lot about a culture from pool etiquette. Even so there is a global dimension to lap swimming, with pools providing an international parallel universe like museums and Michelin restaurants.

Finding a pool in a foreign city and counting down the laps can make you feel like a local even if you don't speak the dialect. Just remember to pack the latex.