How Albanese and Dutton turned political Coachella into a Teams meeting
You get a house! You get a cheaper ute! You get a tax deduction!
That’s the takeout from what MPs call “Campaign Christmas” weekend.
Labor and the Liberals launched their official campaigns on Sunday to rooms full of party faithful, true believers, luminaries and rising parliamentary stars.
Both were like an episode of Oprah. Filmed off Broadway. The Oprah was played by the understudy’s understudy.
If there was any doubt this wasn’t already the first real TikTok election, the launches – which are historically the political version of Coachella – resembled the flop that was Fyre Festival.
However the mood in the room was not the main game here, Meta is.
In reality the turn out at the parties for both the major parties should be an enormous wake-up call that maybe those opinionated “influencers” have a point.
That a fair chunk of voters who are aged 18 to 50 are not interested in what the Coles and Woolworths of politics are selling or, alarmingly, even saying.
The “kids” may follow “@albomp” and “@peterduttonMP” on social media, but they are not giving up their Sundays to show up for them anymore.
Both Anthony Albanese and Peter Dutton outlined their visions to auditoriums overwhelmingly stacked with older Australians.
Any concept of youth for the ALP’s “building Australia’s future” set in Perth was one cherubic baby who gurgled away as Mr Albanese gabbed on stage for more than 30 minutes.
The rest of the supporters who don’t need retinol were pushed to the edges.
The unsung heroes of grassroots politics, the small yet mighty teams of young eager, energetic volunteers and staffers were the ones holding on to their every word, cheered the loudest and jeered in the right places. Ironically they’ll be ones who’ll be both funding and constructing the futures both leaders outlined.
No one is exactly sure how, but that’s a future Australia’s problem given the myopic political landscape we live in now.
Sugar hits are safer and land better with the punters rather than talk of things like economic sustainability.
Mr Albanese said the “N word … nuclear” should scare Australians, but it appears both parties consider legitimate, bold and brave tax reform would be more toxic to their brands right now than a reactor being plonked in the bush sometime next decade.
Mr Albanese and Mr Dutton, are the “young Australians” who you are so eager to talk up and pitch to in the room with us?
Because they weren’t on Sunday and they probably won’t be for the final three weeks of this campaign.
They’re on their phones. All the time. While they’re at work, at home and even in the bathroom.
As the grey haired fans of the major parties stood out at the launches on Sunday, the teals have also co-opted a similar shade to capitalise on this young voter fatigue with the fogeys.
Independent MP Allegra Spender on Friday confirmed she has engaged an agency to work with and pay influencers for her re-election campaign in Wentworth.
She “assumed” those involved are being paid.
The result so far is a video showing Ms Spender’s voting history with the tagline “made in collaboration with Allegra Spender” and has clocked up close to 10,000 views.
Independent MP for Kooyong Monique Ryan said she hasn’t thought a lot about paying influencers for positive coverage. Adding to the grey areas this campaign continues to wade in.
“Dululu with no solulu” may just be this generation’s “turn back the boats”.
If you’re a chronically online “Facebook uncle” or a savvy social media user who follows a wide range of (mainly female) personalities – you’re in luck.
These politicians in 2025 are trying to talk to you. They are aiming to woo you, urging you to look to the horizon with them via vertical pitches stuffed with pictures and Canva-style PowerPoint presentations.
Details?
As in, how will we cover the cost of Prime Minister’s $1000 tax dedication pledge or the Opposition Leader’s suggestion of tax-deductible interest repayments for first-home buyers?
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Especially when an Instagram reel times out at 90 seconds and no one is watching a TikTok for longer than a minute.
Instead Deputy Prime Minister Richard Marles warmed up the crowd with his own made for social media zingers, including: “Peter Dutton is busy dreaming of his new digs (in Kirribilli)”.
West Australian Premier Roger Cook, off the back of another historic election win recently, introduced Mr Albanese as former Prime Minister Julia Gillard chuckled along to his gag that is going viral: “The Liberals shed friends faster than Elon Musk”.
These campaign launches were aimed at the logged-on voters who are mostly tuned out to politics.
You could hear it through the speeches that were written specifically for social media staccato.
“Under Labor you earn more, keep more of what you earn – and get more back at tax time,” Mr Albanese said.
Then, less than an hour later, that line was a caption of official ALP TikTok and Instagram videos.
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