Leave Melbourne alone! PM needs some education on Victorian capital

And Fairfax sends a canary down the coalmine to proclaim the industry’s death.

The Prime Minister has revealed he is not dead. The Australian, website, Wednesday:

The dramatic shift clears the way for open warfare on Mr Shorten’s character, as the government seeks to label him a “parasite” and “hypocrite” for his close ties to ­billionaires while the union he once led cheated workers.

But Labor leader Bill Shorten wasn’t the only one who copped it. House of Representatives, Wednesday:

... all the other billionaires he liked sucking up to in Melbourne ... the comfortable lounge rooms of Melbourne ... sucking hard in the living rooms of Melbourne ...

Melbourne sucks! Malcolm Turnbull, House of Representatives, continued:

... the billionaires of Melbourne ... This sucker-up in Melbourne ...

But Mal, Melbourne has been so good to you. It gave you the only seat you won off Labor. Monash Leader, July 8, 2016:

For the first time in 18 years, the Liberal Party has taken the federal seat of Chisholm. Federal MP Julia Banks was “absolutely delighted” to win the seat and said her job of serving the community started straight away.

And you really love trams. The Age, March 7, 2016:

Where better to retreat from the salacious rumours about your predecessor or questions about the gay marriage plebiscite and party disunity than to board a Melbourne tram at lunchtime.

Leaving the elite Athenaeum Club, the Prime Minister jumped on a crammed Collins Street tram, joking that he didn’t need a myki while travelling in the city.

Everyone’s favourite real Housewife of Melbourne, Gamble Breaux, loves the Coalition. Buzzfeed Australia, May 3, 2016:

Real Housewives of Melbourne star Gamble Breaux is spending the day at Parliament House to celebrate the 2016 federal budget ...

“I’m a Liberal Party supporter, so I’m here to barrack for my team!” Breaux told BuzzFeed News.

“I’ve come along to try and learn, I’m not pretending that I do know anything. I’m just excited to be here. I’m a groupie for the day!”

How could you betray a Melbourne icon like this, Malcolm? She loved you. Gamble on Instagram, June 30, 2016:

It’s no secret who I’m voting for in this election! Go @turnbullmalcolm Go @liberalaus #malcomturnbull #liberalparty #federalelection2016

H as the PM fallen out with Gamble? Has he secretly created The Real Housewives of Sydneyto destroy Melbourne? The Daily Telegraph website, Wednesday:

Louder, crazier and perhaps more potty-mouthed than their Melbourne counterparts, The Real Housewives of Sydney are guaranteed to pull headlines ...

And Fairfax’s Ross Gittins is pooh-poohing coal. The Sydney Morning Herald, Saturday:

With Malcolm Turnbull desperate to keep burning coal ... just how ­important is the mining industry to our economy? Short answer: not nearly as much as it wants us to ­believe ...

But we should be so lucky, Ross. The Sydney Morning Herald, August 20, 2016:

... our location on the edge of Asia is only half our good luck. The other half was discovering our island is rich in high quality, easily-won minerals and energy.