Contrary to popular opinion, best laid plans needn't belong to either mice or men

Community Services Minister Jenny Macklin on Wednesday:

CATHERINE Deveny has a strong interest in disability issues. She is dyslexic and has two children who are dyslexic.

Deveny overcoming her dyslexia in It's Not My Fault They Print Them:

'TWAS the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, because Mum was chucking her annual Christmas spastic.

Ministerial understatement. Stephen Conroy yesterday:

THE significance of what's been achieved today cannot be underestimated.

Radio National Breakfast's parallel universe yesterday:

FRAN Kelly: The winners and the losers for this year?

Paul Bongiorno: I believe mainstream Australia is the winner and I believe the losers . . . are social conservatives and climate change denialists.

Kelly: It's a win for the new paradigm, I think.

Win for the planet. Bongiorno on Radio National, August 20:

EVEN the insulation program, a million houses with insulation is actually an energy efficiency dividend that we've never even heard about.

Action men. Tony Abbott television commercial in May:

I BELIEVE in getting things done and that means taking real action to reduce Australia's massive debt. Only real action will stop illegal immigration. And only a real action plan will fix the problem in our public hospitals. Real action, that's what I stand for.

Victoria's John Brumby yesterday:

IF you want real change, the party that's going to deliver real change, real action in terms of climate change, is the Labor Party. If you vote for Labor you'll get action. You'll get real action. You'll get decisive action.

The Australian Financial Review making a friend yesterday:

THE National Broadband Network may have clinched power for federal Labor but there are still many unanswered questions about the project . . . It's just as well that Communications Minister Stephen Conroy is wired for the stoush.

Liberal Senator Simon Birmingham wasn't buying it yesterday:

IS the minister showing off his Financial Review article? We all have it; fear not. We think that it was wrong. The article is a total fabrication. The only accurate thing about the article is the tangled mess you appear to be in, in the pictures. . . Now the minister even has the clerks reading his puff piece. He is very proud. Have you got it framed already, Stephen?

Trade Minister Craig Emerson and opposition immigration spokesman Scott Morrison ignore the ref's whistle on the Ten Network yesterday:

EMERSON: Well, that's up to the Coalition. I think they'd like to be here for Christmas and New Year. That's fine if they want to do that.

Host Ron Wilson: Canberra's lovely at Christmas.

Morrison: The parliament should do its job.

Emerson: And all they're trying to demonstrate is what they oppose. And this is what we've learned from this year under Tony Abbott, he wants to be defined by what he opposes. And that is, he opposes everything that Labor does.

Morrison: What he stands for, Craig, is accountability of public finances.

Emerson: We've successfully got through more than 50 bills in this parliament.

Wilson: All right, gentlemen, I'm sorry we're going to have to . . .

Emerson: Successfully got through more than 50 bills in this parliament over Tony Abbott.

Morrison: And they all got the green tick, I noticed, Craig. The big green lean.

Emerson: Yeah, and the independents.

Wilson: Well, I might just leave those two arguing and we'll just wrap up the debate. Thank you very much, Craig Emerson and Scott Morrison, for joining us for our Friday morning political debate. Thank you very much, gentlemen. Merry Christmas and a happy new year.