And lo, as the Devil tempted him, the Lord didst think, ‘What would Elizabeth Farrelly do?’
IN a few daring words, an SMH columnist has managed to out-Clive Palmer Clive Palmer.
IN a few daring words, an SMH columnist has managed to out-Clive Palmer Clive Palmer
Reach for the stars. Elizabeth Farrelly in The Sydney Morning Herald on Thursday:
I DISCOVERED that “frightbat’’ is Daily Telegraph blogger Tim Blair’s pejorative for smart, articulate female ... Blair wrote, “they shriek, they rage, they cheer, they despair, they exult, they scream, they laugh, they cry! There’s never a non-emotional moment in the lives of Australia’s left-wing ladies’ auxiliary ...’’ I’m not especially left-wing. Not communist. Not even socialist. I simply try to work from first principles — justice, truth, beauty. Is that emotional? Was Plato hysterical? Was Jesus? Mandela?
Plato, Jesus and Mandela? Somebody’s going to have to lift his game. Clive Palmer managing only one comparison on March 11:
(THEY’RE) debating about whether we can use (opposition leader) Will Hodgman’s name and say he is a hopeless guy and say that the premier Laura (sic) is a hopeless premier and you’re saying we don’t have the right to say it. I’m happy to go to jail for that. I’m happy to be like Gandhi and fight for the freedom of Tasmania ...
The Australian’s Strewth column the next day:
INCIDENTALLY, Gandhi was arrested 13 times, so there’s something to look forward to.
The Australian’s Chris Kenny on Twitter on Tuesday:
DOUBLE (dissolution) is perhaps the only way to get serious reform through.
Hands across the divide? Jonathan Green on The Drum on Thursday:
CHRIS Kenny’s probably right: Yes. Maybe the best thing we could do is wipe the slate clean and start again. Dissolve both houses, present the unpicked litter to the people and have us make of it what we will.
Just like terrorists. Village Roadshow chief executive Graham Burke interviewed on ZDNet.com on Thursday:
(BURKE) said ISPs had an obligation to help deter copyright infringement, and compared it to airports having security to ensure airlines were safe. “The airport has some responsibility to ensure people are safe, and there’s scrutiny of bags to ensure people don’t have guns and bombs,” he said.
News.com.au yesterday:
ADELAIDE comedians have given Barry Humphries’ idea to ban the F-word the middle finger. The Australian comic ... has banned performers from dropping the F-bomb at the next Adelaide Cabaret Festival. “I have found, without wanting to sound prudish, that too many young comedians — many of great brilliance — still resort to the F-word to get a laugh,” Humphries, who is the incoming director of the event, told The Adelaide Advertiser. “So there’s only one rule: I’m banning it. It will be a good discipline for them ...’’
Humphries’s gentler way. The Adventures of Barry McKenzie (1972):
NOW listen mate, I need to splash the boots. You know, strain the potatoes. Water the horses. You know, go where the big knobs hang out. Shake hands with the wife’s best friend? Drain the dragon? Siphon the python? Ring the rattlesnake? You know, unbutton the mutton? Like, point Percy at the porcelain?
Humphries as Sir Les Patterson:
ONE thing that’s for certain/ I’m parting the old beef curtains/ And driving the good old pigskin bus/ To Tuna Town tonight.
Humphries reminiscing about dumping Heinz Russian salad (“it closely resembled vomit”) on the footpath in More Please (1992):
IN the guise of a tramp … I knelt beside one of the larger puddles, curdled and carrot-flecked. Drawing a spoon from my top pocket I devoured several mouthfuls, noticing out of the corner of my eye, and with some satisfaction, several people actually being sick at the spectacle.