Joyce to the world! Johnny Depp’s pooches Pistol and Boo are back in the news

Johnny Depp and then girlfriend Amber Heard arrive at a court on the Gold Coast in April 2016. Picture: AFP

The Sydney Morning Herald website, Thursday:

Johnny Depp’s ex-wife Amber Heard was repeatedly warned she was not permitted to bring her pet dogs Pistol and Boo into Australia in 2015 but insisted, later pressuring a staff member to take the blame for breaking the country’s strict quarantine laws, London’s High Court has heard.

Amber Heard’s former personal assistant Kate James, Thursday, Nine:

She said Heard “deliberately smuggled the dogs into Australia. As in several circumstances which I observed, it was as if she felt that she was above the law.”

Then-secret Kiwi Barnaby Joyce, May 14, 2015:

The other (topic) is about apparently the sexiest man alive, and that’s not me. Not that I needed to tell you that.

Also Joyce:

A gentleman by the name of John Christopher Depp, 51 years old, otherwise aka Jack Sparrow, he’s decided to bring into our nation two dogs without … getting the proper certification and the proper permits required. Now, Mr Depp has to either take his dogs back to California or we’re going to have to euthanase them.

More Joyce:

He’s now got about 50 hours left to remove the dogs … if we start letting movie stars, even though they’ve been the sexiest man alive twice, to come into our nation then why don’t we just break the laws for everybody. It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States.

Tom Forbes, Twitter, May 14, 2015:

Media camped outside Johnny Depps GC mansion waiting for his dogs to be destroyed or deported.

ABC, Thursday:

The dogs survived that threat, but the High Court has heard from Johnny Depp’s former estate manager, Kevin Murphy, who says he lied in a court document in Australia because Ms Heard said she’d get him sacked … At the time, Amber Heard was fined and the couple issued a public apology.

Johnny Depp and Heard’s hostage video apology, April 17, 2016:

Australia is a wonderful island.

BuzzFeed News, 2016:

The puny pooches flew under the radar for a few weeks — but, like so many celebrities, vanity was ultim­ately their downfall. Yes, that’s right — Pistol and Boo visited the Happy Dogz grooming salon on Queensland’s Gold Coast.

ABC, September 5, 2015:

Johnny Depp has joked that he “killed and ate” his dogs under direct orders of a “sweaty, big-gutted man from Australia” when asked about Pistol and Boo at the Venice Film Festival.

Depp on Joyce, May 25, 2016:

He looks somehow, like, inbred with a tomato.

Joyce channels Silence of the Lambs, May 25, 2016:

I’m pulling little strings and pulling little levers. Long after I’ve forgotten about Mr Depp, he’s remembering me. I think I’m turning into Johnny Depp’s Hannibal Lecter.

The Australian website, Thursday:

“Why on earth did you not go to Mr Depp to ask him to intervene rather than just lying on oath?” the lawyer asked. Mr Murphy said: “Because Amber wielded a lot of power and would have made my life miserable.”

The Chaser headline, February 4:

Pistol and Boo placed in protective custody ahead of Barnaby Joyce’s leadership spill.