Albanese stays mum as backbench has a go

Anthony Albanese in question time yesterday. Picture: Kym Smith

Zero. That’s how many questions Anthony Albanese asked during yesterday’s question time.

Staying true to his strategic promise of unpredictability, the Labor leader yielded the floor to his backbench for two hours. His frontbench were left to sit on their hands, literally in the case of Labor deputy Richard Marles. 

In many respects, it was a nod to Scott Morrison’s catchcry from his first press conference as Prime Minister: “If you have a go in this country, you will get a go.”

But the unconventional shock factor quickly wore off as it became apparent that Albanese’s B-Team might not be up for the job.

Within seconds of Susan Templeman, the member for Macquarie, asking earnestly about wage theft in restaurants, Morrison had segued seamlessly into an edict about “the wage theft that’s occurring in the union movement”.

“He might refer to Mr Calombaris’s restaurants,” Albanese interjected, in a bid to help things along.

“There’s a few issues — MasterChef. People know about it!”

Just like the contestants on the TV show, Morrison wasn’t keen on the mystery box challenge.

As the afternoon continued, the self-gagged Albanese drew a large zero on a piece of paper and held it up to the government benches to help Matt Thistlethwaite, member for Kingsford Smith, during his question about how many bills the government had introduced to implement the recommendations of the banking royal commission. To no avail.

It wasn’t only Labor backbenchers who were schooled on question time.

Leader of the house Christian Porter took a few attempts to boot repeat Labor troublemaker Nick Champion from the chamber for 24 hours after he was named by the Speaker.

“I moved the member be suspended for the remainder of the proceedings,” was Porter’s first ­attempt. “No, that’s not it,” Labor heckled. “Have another go.”

“I move that the member for Wakefield be suspended from the service of the house,” Porter tried again. Albanese interjected: “Perhaps the leader of the house could get advice about the motion he moved because he referred to a seat that does not exist.”

It was an easy mistake to make. Champion’s South Australian seat has changed from Wakefield to Spence.

Movements behind the scenes could explain the hit and miss question time record of Labor this week. Only one Bill Shorten staffer has remained in the Opposition Leader’s wing. Some exiting Shorten loyalists say they were told directly there wouldn’t be jobs for them in the new regime. Others were keen to get out and spend some time looking for Quiet Australians. Before they handed in their government-issued phones this week, they sent a few final tweets from the “Shorten Suite” Twitter account.

“At the Menzies Research Centre drinks for Coalition staff tonight,” the account tweeted on Tuesday night. “When the news came in that Boris Johnson had been elected PM, they all cheered and then everyone sang God Save the Queen. How modern and nice.”