Criticism can truly be constructive as a stepping stone to success

Many people hate getting negative feedback and also avoid dishing it out, fearing it will spark anger, dejection or even tears.

Many people hate getting negative feedback and also avoid dishing it out, fearing it will spark anger, dejection or even tears.

But some people actually want and even seek out criticism at work. Who are these people?

Recent research sheds light on their inner life. People who thrive on feedback tend to be strivers who believe they can improve their skills and abilities. They’ve embraced personal goals so compelling that they see criticism as a tool for helping reach them, rather than a setback. They have close friends at work and they tend to be strong on self-control and self-awareness.

Sales trainer Cheri Spets Farmer says she realised years ago that her colleagues noticed her shortcomings before she did. She recalls struggling in a new sales job and asking a co-worker: “What do you think I’m doing wrong?” Farmer was surprised when her colleague, without thinking, told her to focus more on selling the company’s special promotions.

“That was my light bulb moment,” says Farmer, who owns her own sales-training consulting firm. She realised that if you don’t ask, you may be the last person to see your own weaknesses. She has requested critiques from colleagues and clients ever since.

It’s natural to resist criticism. Some people feel so threatened by a critical appraisal that they start avoiding the colleague who ­delivered it, a recent Harvard Business School paper shows.

“The difference between the highly self-aware and the rest of us is that they push through that discomfort and ask for feedback anyway,” says Tasha Eurich, an organ­isational psychologist and author of Insight, a book on self-awareness.

People who take criticism well are often fortified by a belief they can get smarter and better at their job through effort, according to a study last year by Kris Byron, an assoc­iate professor in managerial science at Georgia State Univer­sity. Those who see intelligence as a fixed trait they can’t change are likelier to feel threatened if their manager doesn’t provide the affirmation they desire.

Christopher Molivadas often asks his bosses what he can do better. If they respond that he’s doing fine, he pushes for specifics. “You have to really probe for feedback and let them know that you welcome it,” says Molivadas, a reg­ional market director in Wash­ington for JLL, a real estate services firm.

When he was told at one point that he ­became too focused on details and didn’t spend enough time on big-picture problems, he set out to learn about strategic thinking. He read books, asked subordinates for feedback and worked with a coach, Tim Allard.

“The guy is a learning ­machine,” says Allard, co-owner of Odyssey, a business and executive consulting firm. People who seek negative feedback “want to be the best version of themselves. They’re internally motivated to grow,” Allard says.

People who have close ties with others at work tend to seek tougher reviews and to make changes in response, according to a study last year led by Stacey Finkelstein, ­assistant professor of marketing at Stony Brook University in New York.

Brian Binke, president and chief executive of executive search firm Birmingham Group, has formed longstanding friendships with several other search-firm owners. “We challenge each other to do better,” he says.

Binke sees the criticisms he ­receives not as a put-down but as a vote of confidence — as if his friends were saying: “I know if you just put your mind to it, you can fix this,” he says.

Experts in their fields tend to be motivated by criticism and to see it as a sign of how well they’re ­progressing towards their goals, ­according to a 2011 study co-­written by Finkelstein. Novices are likelier to seek praise and to interpret it as a sign of whether to remain committed to the goals they have set, the study shows.

Robin Camarote was stung ­recently by a potential partner’s heated critique of a proposal she had written. The broadside left her shaken. But it also motivated her to redouble her energy and focus, says Camarote, a communication and change-management consultant.

“There’s that little sting, that feeling of, ‘I’ll show you,’ ” she says. When she later received positive feedback on the proposal from a mentor, she realised the criticism had been more useful, says Camarote, author of Flock, a book on leadership.

WALL STREET JOURNAL