Afternoon teas that please: London’s best and funkiest

From gliding white-jacketed waiters to tea bags on a famous London double-decker.

Afternoon teas in London

Claridge’s

The Ritz might have the most ­famous tearoom in London, but based on decor alone I far prefer ­Claridge’s elegant art-deco foyer.

Just beyond the lobby’s coruscating black-and-white tile floor, waiters in white jackets glide with the grace of ghosts. Had the pianist and cellist not played Mariah Carey’s Hero, I would’ve sworn it was 1930.

The tea selection is meticu­lously curated — the menu offers detailed descriptions of 20-plus varieties, and recommends which brews are best with milk, a twist of lemon zest or a drop of maple syrup. I hopped from the grassy White Silver Tip to the delicately floral Malawi Antler.

A culinary highlight was the Marco Polo tea-infused gelee ­accompanying the scones, as well as the poached salmon sandwich.

claridges.co.uk

Sanderson

Leave it to one of Philippe Starck’s surrealist fantasy hotels to offer the Mad Hatter Afternoon Tea, a homage to Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

At the beginning of the meal, our waiter brings a tray of tiny glass vials from which we were asked to take a sniff and select our blend of leaves (“Alice” is a black tea blend with hints of black ­currant and bergamot; the “Mad Hatter” is green with passionfruit, guava and mango). Most options are fruity and fragrant, which might displease tea snobs, but the food is a crowd-pleaser.

Savoury dishes include a warm, gooey mini croque-monsieur and a smoked salmon, quail egg and caviar Scotch egg. Desserts ­include coffee-flavoured macaroons decorated like the White Rabbit’s pocket watch and magic mushrooms (they use non-hallucinogenic marshmallows). Best ­suited for families — or adults more versed in Alice than the ­nuances of Earl Grey.

sandersonlondon.com

BB Bus Tour

This on-the-go meal is for tourists, not tea connoisseurs, but it’s an amusing and filling way to sightsee.

The bus is a Route­master, one of the cherry-red double-deckers built in the 1950s and 60s, and converted into a cheerful rolling restaurant. But don’t expect to gain an in-depth knowledge of London’s historic sites. Our tour guides, two lovely French women, did little more than point out key landmarks. We were given tea bags and plastic cups and the sandwich bread was stale, but the mini quiches and pistachio macaroons were spot-on. I followed the lead of the other tourists on board and ordered the champagne, only to discover that, while the plates are Velcroed to the tab­les, the champagne glasses are not. When the bus stop­ped suddenly, I was drenched in bubbly.

bbbakery.co.uk

Sketch Gallery

The imbibers at this restaurant/bar/art gallery were mostly in their 20s or 30s, a mix of Brits and tourists, all having something less decorous than dainty pastries: fun.

From the hand-drawn messages on the bottoms of the teacups ­advising us to “Forget about it” to the 200 comical-crude David Shrigley drawings adorning the bubblegum pink walls (where else can you sip your Iron Buddha ­Oolong under a sketch of a naked man jumping rope?), Sketch takes a jovial approach to the ritual.

We were brought petite mozzarella and pesto panini, served warm, a big hit with my tasting companions, including nine-year-old Lulu. I tried several teas, including a flowery jasmine green tea and the Earl Grey Supreme, both potent without being bitter. Our favourite sweets were the bright-green pistachio choux pastries.

sketch.london

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL