Kiss of death for Carlton; Duttons sell out of Townsville retail mall

Kiss frontman Gene Simmons presents the ball to the umpires before the Carlton against Collingwood game at the MCG. Picture: Michael Klein

Theories abound as to how the Carlton Football Club tragically choked against bitter rivals Collingwood on Sunday, but it seems a chance that the origins of this defeat can be traced to a fortuitous wine-tasting event leading up to the match.

It was Thursday, and the scene was iconic Flinders Lane restaurant Cecconi’s where the silvertails were being treated to a private event with Treasury Wine Estates to sample their latest Penfolds Bordeaux collection.

Who else but Carlton? Most of the restaurant had been booked out for the cause, but the owners were forced to hastily make room for a couple of gatecrashers who couldn’t be ignored, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, both of whom are currently on tour with their little-known rock‘n’roll band, KISS.

It turns out Stanley is something of a wine cognoscenti – who knew that he launched a range of KISS wines some years back? – and is said to have partaken in the festivities, even though he’s on the wrong side of 70.

But was all that vino a prelude to ruin for the team? The kiss of death, as Lou Richards might have termed it?

Not so for Cecconi’s, which has welcomed the ageing rockers back for additional carb-loading sessions on at least two occasions. Apparently Shaquille O’Neal has also made an appearance this week.

Unfortunately, Stanley and Simmons will now have to find an alternative venue for fressing upon their arrival in Sydney. Their first show is scheduled for Friday.

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Off the Cuffe

Not unlike a Marvel movie, Hearts & Minds Investments is powered by an all-star cast of superheroes plucked from the world of corporate finance.

At the board level there’s chairman Chris Cuffe, Barrenjoey’s Matthew Grounds, the distinguished Gary Weiss and stockpicker Geoff Wilson, among others.

Advice and direction are received from an equally muscular team of portfolio managers – Caledonia, Regal, TDM, Magellan, Cooper Investors and Paradice – each with their own “high conviction ideas” for where to invest the $700m under management.

Arguably a dream team at the helm, but on Wednesday HM1’s annual report revealed strikingly poor results for the year. Its portfolio declined 33.6 per cent on a pre-tax basis – $219.6m in losses – ranking
its performance well beneath the MSCI World Net Total Return Index, which fell 6.5 per cent.

Blame the recent market downturn, as Cuffe did, of course. He told investors that the fund’s previous gains had essentially been scratched.

Its non-core portfolio was equally battered, given that its investments were mostly in tech stocks that “bore the brunt of the market sell off”.

“This is obviously a very unsatisfactory result,” Cuffe wrote, flagging adjustments to the management of the HM1 portfolio and, in a rather ominous foreshadowing, its “selection process for fund managers”.

That said, HM1 still achieved the feat of providing $12.6m in contributions to medical research organisations, delivered in part by the pro-bono work of the board and its fund managers foregoing management fees.

Total provisions to the field of medicine since 2018 have been $33.9m. That, along with a slight increase in the dividend payment, should provide some succour to its investors.

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Duttons sell out

Stripped of his responsibilities as defence minister, opposition leader Peter Dutton suddenly appears to have ample time to consider the state of his personal investments.

And the Member for Dickson seems to think it’s a good time to sell after offloading the controversial retail plaza he and wife Kirilly Dutton owned in suburban Townsville.

Illustration: Rod Clement

The Duttons, via family vehicle RHT Investments, bought the Edison Plaza Shopping Centre in Wulguru in 2016, having already owned and operated two childcare centres in Queensland, apparently with plans to expand their operations to a third centre further north.

It’s an investment that’s made headlines on several occasions. At one time it hadn’t been declared in Dutton’s disclosures; on another occasion it was said to be in arrears over rate payments. He was also criticised by a local councillor for allowing the site to fall into disrepair.

But it now seems the commercial investment has been sold, complete with DA approval for a childcare centre – except it’s not exactly a banger in terms of pay-off.

What was bought for $760,000 has been sold for $840,000, which, when accounting for transaction costs and pushing through development plans with the council, suggests a net loss.

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Burney in the house

Meanwhile on the other side of the political aisle, Indigenous Affairs Minister Linda Burney was spotted at the MCG on Tuesday night at a fundraising dinner for the AFL’s Cape York House.

Our spies report that she was seated next to outgoing AFL boss Gil McLachlan, whom she was said to be lobbying, namely for the code to support the upcoming referendum on an Indigenous voice to parliament.

It’s been a busy few weeks for the Barton MP. She was in Arnhem Land at the end of last month for the three-day Garma Festival, attended by Anthony Albanese and Senator Pat Dodson.

A week in Canberra followed, ending with the MP finalising the sale of her terrace house in Newcastle while parliament was still sitting.

The Cooks Hill investment property – sold for $1m – forms part of a wider portfolio controlled by Burney that includes two homes in Sydney: one residential and the other an investment property

There’s also a pile in Canberra, plus another property in the tiny Riverina town of Whitton where she grew up.