ANZ shows Woolies how to stock top shelf

Peter Nicholson Margin Call cartoon for 02-10-2015. Version: (650x366) COPYRIGHT: The Australian's artists each have different copyright agreements in place regarding re-use of their work in other publications. Please seek advice from the artists themselves or the Managing Editor of The Australian regarding re-use.

ANZ chairman David Gonski’s masterclass in rolling out a CEO changeover must have heads spinning at Woolies as they contrast the clumsy way Grant O’Brien is being slowly prised out of his seat at Bella Vista.

With ANZ CFO Shayne Elliott daubed with the holy oil of succession to follow Mike Smith, the takeover of the four pillars by Kiwis is all but complete — he joins former child actor Ian Narev at CBA and Andrew Thorburn at NAB.

The departure of luxury car-loving Smith, who once took a bullet while working in Argentina for HSBC, will return banking to its natural beige.

Who could forget his tirades against the likes of London (too expensive) and Joe Hockey (too similar to Venezuelan pinko president Hugo Chavez)? Then there was the time he was recorded for posterity on Google Maps, supervising his driver’s efforts packing mysterious red sacks into the back of the Jag.

Also contemplating their futures will be the bevy of bankers who missed out to Elliott, the first internal successor since the 80s.

They include the man responsible for looking after Smith’s trademark Asia strategy, Andrew Geczy, and head of New Zealand David Hisco.

Former Westpac exec Rob Whitfield was off the list after bolting for NSW Treasury.

Smith’s exit now affords him and wife Maria the luxury of time at the magnificent Spray Farm on the Bellarine Peninsula overlooking Corio Bay, which he bought last year for $12 million.

Blundy’s recycling

Singaporean retail billionaire Brett Blundy has recognised the economies of scale in floating three vehicles on the local sharemarket in 10 months.

He’s recycled some marketing material from sheet shop Adairs, which was floated in June, for use in his launched Aventus Retail Property prospectus, prepared in haste after risk-averse instos baulked at participating in a front-end bookbuild for the listing.

Blundy’s bunnies at Macquarie and Morgans have had to pull the docos together post haste for the tarted up float so they can target mums and dads first and then go to the funds at the end of the offer.

Amid lots of shots of the B-grade retailers that fill Blundy’s shopping precincts are classy bedroom pics that turn out to be lifted from old Adairs catalogs.

Sadly for the brokers pulling together the offer document, there was no sign of any marketing shots from Blundy’s “sensuality boutique” Honey Birdette, which the equity capital market types can only be dreaming is Blundy’s next offer.

Grand final berths

It’s an epic public transport journey to Sydney’s Olympic Park at Homebush, but former investment bankers Malcolm Turnbull and Mike Baird won’t miss the grand final of the game they (don’t) play in heaven.

Come Sunday our new PM and the uber-popular NSW Liberal Premier will take to the field of ANZ Stadium to congratulate the players — a brave call given sporting crowds love to boo pollies and both teams hail from Queensland.

Turnbull will hotfoot it from Bleak City, where on Saturday he’ll share the MCG with Bill Shorten to see the Hawks take on the Weagles, on the board of which his Foreign Minister Julie Bishop served for several years.

Bishop will be cutting it fine to make it from New York and the UN, where she and manbag David Panton also caught up with James Packer for dinner.

Turnbull will be at the G as a guest of AFL Commission chair Mike Fitzpatrick, but will have no official duties.

Like Roosters fan Turnbull, Shorten will be at both finals, and go to the North Melbourne Grand Final brekkie with Roos directors like Peter Scanlon’s son Brady and embattled 7-Eleven exec Julie Laycock.

Ladder leaders

Our nation’s current investment bankers are also contemplating their own league ladder.

UBS boss Matthew Grounds will relate to the weekend’s losers as they drop to the hallowed turf and deal with second place — this time on the mergers and acquisitions rankings for the nine months to the end of September.

Compiled by Thompson and Dealogic, they show Nick Moore’s Macquarie at No 1 in both deals announced and completed, with Grounds’ UBS variously second or third (to the Simon Rothery-led Goldmans).

It’s another win for Macquarie’s Robin Bishop, who this week was behind Origin’s $2.5 billion raising, and a fresh sting for Grounds, with UBS’s role in NSW’s power sell-off still under the ASIC microscope.

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