Barefoot Investor: Fed up wife’s raw letter to stubborn husband

She was a wife at breaking point, trying to convince her husband to take basic steps to protect his family’s future. So I helped her pen this eye-opening letter, writes Barefoot Investor.

Living in the country, we spend half our lives in the car (the other half is spent waiting for kids to finish sport).

So lately I’ve developed a new trick to keep my road rage at bay: I fire up ChatGPT and run ‘car trip trivia’ with the family.

It kills time, stops them fighting (for a few minutes), and sometimes even teaches them something useful.

Anyway, here’s your turn.

Grab a coffee, sharpen your brain, and take on this Barefoot Money Quiz.

Let’s see if you’re smarter than a bored nine-year-old stuck in the back seat.

The crazy thing is the average Australian fails this test - how do you measure up?

Answers below (no peeking!)

Tread Your Own Path!

P.S Here’s the answers: 1b, 2c, 3b, 4a, 5b

My Son is a Disaster

Hi Scott,

My son is a disaster. Is this just a ‘son’ thing?

For his 18th birthday, I sacrificed the first car I’d ever owned so he could have freedom and independence.

It was a great little car with full service records and a reliable mechanic.

Five years later, he called it “a hunk of junk.”

I said: “It wasn’t junk when I gave it to you.”

Now he’s over 30, buying his third cheap car, and heavily hinting about my old Mercedes (worth under $10k).

He hasn’t asked outright, but the hints are constant.

After years of ingratitude and fleeting thanks, there’s no way I’m handing it over. I’ve learned my lesson.

But here’s what hurts: I no longer feel joy in giving. I’m scared of being taken advantage of again. Teach your sons gratitude, Scott, or this pain will be yours too.

Lesley

Lesley says she’s had it with her ungrateful son.

Hey Lesley,

Is it a son thing?

Nah. It’s a human thing.

Here’s what I’ve learned: people don’t value what they haven’t earned.

You gave him your beloved first car, filled with memories and sacrifice.

To him, it was just… free.

That stings. But it doesn’t mean he’s ungrateful about everything. It just means your giving needs boundaries.

About the Merc? Next time he hints, shut it down kindly but firmly:

“Mate, I’m keeping it. You’ll value your next car more if you buy it yourself.”

Don’t let his hints rob you of your joy in giving to others who appreciate it.

The best things in life are earned – and that’s a lesson he still needs to learn.

The Holiday from HELL

I am trying to dig deep and be strong and brave.

My husband has bowel and lung cancer with a poor prognosis.

His oncologist encouraged us to take a family holiday for memory-making with our kids (9 and 11) before treatment starts.

So we booked $2,300 in accommodation in Melbourne through Airbnb for July 3–7.

Twenty-four hours before departure, the surgeon said my husband needed emergency lung surgery – no other dates available.

The surgeon provided a compassionate cancellation letter.

The Airbnb host initially supported cancellation but then declined when it went through Airbnb.

Airbnb says it’s the host’s decision, the host says it’s Airbnb’s.

We got back $300 from $2,300.

We’re now facing mounting medical bills, and a future without my husband.

Paying for a holiday we can’t take is overwhelming.

We paid with our Macquarie Black Card and have lodged a travel insurance claim, but I’m not holding out much hope. Any suggestions for who can help us get our money back?

Christine

Christine was staring down a hefty bill for a holiday she couldn’t take, but Barefoot Investor has worked his magic, see below!

Hi Christine,

First, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

I spoke to Airbnb on your behalf.

They’ve decided to give you a full refund.

I hope this helps ease just a little of the stress during such a heartbreaking time.

Wishing you strength and some peace in the days ahead.

I’m at Breaking Point

Hi Scott,

I’m at my breaking point.

Three years ago, my husband was seriously ill – you’d think that would be a wake-up call. Since then, I’ve begged him to set up basic insurance and wills.

We’re in our mid-40s with two kids.

He’s the higher earner but has ZERO life insurance, TPD or income protection.

Not even default cover. I’ve helped him get quotes, offered to write wills online myself, but he won’t commit to anything.

He hesitates over every sentence. Meanwhile, he’s happily researching stock investments.

We’ve argued about this countless times.

I’m not doing it for me – it’s for our family’s basic protection.

It’s like car insurance, just in case.

But he treats it like I’m asking him to plan his funeral.

I’m fed up and stressed.

How do I make him understand this is his responsibility as a father and husband?

Or do I just take matters into my own hands?

Jill

Jill was at breaking point with her husband over life insurance.

Hi Jill

You’re right to be fed up. You’ve carried this alone for too long.

So here’s what I want you to do:

Make him a coffee. Butter some toast. Then put this under his nose and ask him to read it.

Hey mate,

Your job is to protect your family.

And getting insurance and a will is a huge part of being a protector and provider.

If you die tomorrow, your wife becomes a single mum with no income and two kids to raise alone.

You don’t think it will happen to you, but I see enough grief-stricken widows to know that it does.

Spending a few hours planning for it is the final way of saying ‘I love you’.

In fact, to help you along, next week I’m going to write a column that I want you to read.

Stay tuned.

DISCLAIMER: Information and opinions provided in this column are general in nature and have been prepared for educational purposes only. Always seek personal financial advice tailored to your specific needs before making financial and investment decisions.