Harry McKay reveals why he stepped away from Carlton and the challenges he’s facing

After rumours swirled about a Carlton star’s absence, the gun forward has opened up on why he stepped away as he eyes a return this weekend.

Carlton star Harry McKay says he put on a “facade” and pretended to be OK during a “scary” battle with a mental health issue that forced him to take time away from the game.

The 27-year-old will return to action for the Blues against West Coast in Gather Round after missing two games and on his podcast with his twin brother, Essendon defender Ben, cleared the air after rumours swirled about his playing future.

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Carlton coach Michael Voss had been cryptic in response when asked about McKay’s ongoing absence and without detailing the exact nature of McKay’s troubles said he reached a “tipping point” and finally reached out for help.

“Five or six weeks ago, in late February, I started feeling in not a great place mentally,” McKay said.

“I think the most challenging part of that was me thinking I shouldn’t be feeling the way I was. Everything in my life, to be honest, was in a really great place – the football club, I love my teammates so much and was in a great place in terms of footy.

“The most beautiful, loving partner and family being so supportive. Everything in my world was in such a great place, and that’s why it was really scary that it didn’t make a lot of sense.

“I guess you could say it was really irrational to feel like that, and as that progressed and unfortunately feeling in a worse and worse spot, I had to put on a bit of a facade to pretend to be OK when I really wasn’t.

Patrick Cripps and Harry McKay chat during a Carlton training session this week. Picture: Morgan Hancock/Getty Images

“That was really hard, as a male who would hang their hat on always turning up, being stoic, pushing through. But it got to a place where I had to put a hand up and say I needed some help.”

Having emerged from a “dark place”, McKay said the support of those around him allayed any fears about how they could react to his situation.

“I feel really lucky to feel like myself again,” he said.

“The care for me as a person has been so profound. There’s footy, then there’s life – how much my teammates have wrapped their arms around me and given me love and support … I always knew footy clubs are such a great place when things are tough, but I’ve been blown away by the love and care from my closest people, especially within the club.

“One of the great things about going through something challenging is the learning and self-awareness, the knowledge in this space that people can help. If it’s something that comes up in the future, you’re in a much better place to be able to deal with it and have it at a more manageable level.

McKay was in a ‘dark place’. Picture: Morgan Hancock/Getty Images

McKay said he hit some “markers” in a VFL hitout last weekend and was hopeful of a positive AFL return

“Speaking about it was a weight off my shoulders – I’m really grateful to be in a better place. The love has been so profound and I can’t wait to get back out there,” he said.

“I’m really happy to have a smile on my face again.

“And I’m really excited to run out in front of Carlton fans again, who have been so beautiful, and with my teammates competing together.”