Why we Boomers are not to blame for all your woes

‘A lot of it (climate change) happened on our watch but nobody told us to watch out for it.

Your honour, I’m appearing before you as someone who has been defamed, not because of my behaviour (although I can be over-bearing), not because of anything I said (although I have a lot to say on that) not even because my jokes are now considered “disparagement humour” but simply because of my birth date. I was born a boomer.

Yes, I own my own home. And, yes, it’s a house, with a few spare bedrooms, alright, three spare bedrooms. I know I don’t need them all but they’re still full of the kids’ stuff being stored until they can get a bigger cupboard in their share house. I admit it’s close to the city and I no longer need to be close to the city but when we moved in, it was still considered a slum area, or so my mother-in-law said.

It wasn’t always a flash house. The bathroom was pale pink (I’m told I should have kept it now) and it was the bathroom, no seconds or thirds.

The furniture was mostly from Uncle Barry’s place, after he was taken off to the funny farm, and our décor centred around the bookshelf made from bricks and planks of wood we salvaged from the outdoor dunny. We had that bookshelf for 15 years. Sure, it cost about the same as a small Korean car does now but we worked hard for it. Painted all the walls ourselves (peach blush), dined at home every night except for Maccas on Friday, breakfast came out of a cereal box and, if we travelled, it was $5 a day or go home. A lot of it was ugly.

OK, along the way we bought an investment property. But everyone was doing it. The bank said it was such a good idea, we should borrow the lot, which was great until interest rates hit 17.5 per cent and Fridays at Maccas had to go.

I ask you, were we in charge of town planning? Did we decide that immigration should run at the highest rate in the world? Were we the bankers pushing mortgages like baggies? And isn’t being the bank of mum and dad penalty enough? By the way, we would downsize except that all the development of the past 30 years has been in high rise apartments that cost as much as a house and have so many faults we could find ourselves on the street one night with a trolley bag full of possessions.

As for allegations of reckless disregard for climate change, just let me say, we didn’t know about it. We thought pollution was litter in gutters, sea birds covered in oil, scum in the municipal pool. We had no idea we were dooming future generations. Sure, a lot of it happened on our watch but nobody told us to watch out for it.

Please note, we now have insulation, walk to brunch and some of us have Earth Day brooches. As an aside, I don’t believe we should be pilloried because we had the best music. We’re not the only ones who are pressing replay on the Seventies catalogues. Sure, we had childcare but now we are the childcare. We’re not to blame for traffic, except outside Fairy Beach caravan park. We also weren’t responsible for demolishing mid-century houses, unless it was hitting cricket balls as kids.

We do Pilates so we won’t wreck Medicare. We aren’t going to turn vegan although we do meat-free Monday. We realise we will soon be eating sandwich triangles in an aged-care facility and that we will be paying for it ourselves, but it’s no time to play the age card.

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