What becomes of two lovers when dementia starts to kick in?

They had been living together on the outskirts of town for almost 25 years when one of their children – a child of one of them, not both of them – decided to intervene.

What will become of two elderly lovers when dementia starts to kick in? A moving short story by John Kinsella.

They had been living together on the outskirts of town for almost 25 years when one of their children – a child of one of them, not both of them – decided to intervene in their arrangement, claiming their father wasn’t “safe” living outside a nursing home.

She means well, they said, referring to his common-law wife who was not their mother, but she just can’t manage, being old and frail herself.

Nancy had always asked her partner’s daughter to call her Mum, given her own mother had passed away decades ago, but the daughter insisted on calling her Nancy. They didn’t see each other often, and the daughter was no real fan of her own father, blaming him for the break-up of the family, but when she heard from a nurse in the town that he wasn’t the man he once was, wasn’t so full of opinions and bluster, she became more interested and started dropping in “to check up on things”.

She said “Nancy” with a slight curl of the lips, with a detectable but not accusable sarcasm.

Dad, she said, you can’t remember your own name and Nancy struggles to help you get dressed. Your pension would cover the nursing home.

I don’t want to go into a home and you can bugger off, he said, but she ignored this as further sign of senility. He hadn’t been diagnosed with dementia, but the daughter was pushing for more consultations and second opinions, as if “dementia” was a lock stock and barrel definition that would shift outside perceptions and force new trains of events into action.

Nancy was horrified, and told the daughter. It became open conflict. She said with breaking voice, And after all the vile things you’ve said about your father throughout the district for the last quarter of a century, I find this all a bit rich!

But the daughter was relentless, ignoring all her friends’ and fellow towns-peoples’ insistence that to try and break up a couple who loved each other so much would destroy both of them, that it would be death to part them. She countered with, Absolute rubbish! He loved my mother but was a bastard to her, but he loved her, not Nancy.

Those who knew about the situation quickly realised she was deluded, but really in the end wanted nothing to do with any of it; it just wasn’t worth it. At least he could go into care in town, into the new home that’s just opened by the river, someone risked suggesting, but got an earful – No, no way, she said, my father will go into a proper facility down in the city … one that accords to his faith.

He has no faith as such, said Nancy … he’s an agnostic … he thinks organised religion is claptrap.

That’s not what it says on his baptism certificate! she snapped back at the bitter old lady who was clearly also losing her ­marbles.

He was a baby at the time and had no choice! pleaded Nancy.

■ ■ ■

The house wasn’t much, but was on a few acres which with a bit of fencing and chopping would make a fair horse property. Her father had bought it, she knew, but it was in both of their names unfortunately … that bloody Nancy has got her hooks into everything. But that was all irrelevant for the time being, so she pushed the issue to the back of her mind, No, no, she thought, that will sort itself out once Dad is in care. She would take full control of his affairs and protect her from that old gold-digger.

■ ■ ■

Nancy was confident that she could rely on their friends for help, but didn’t want to drag anyone into the shit storm that would inevitably follow. No, this one would have to be flown solo, with maybe a little assistance after she’d managed to get him out. She planned it all and she kept him appraised of the details.

They had to whisper because a couple of the carers had clearly been asked – or bribed maybe – to keep an eye on him when Nancy was around. They seemed especially interested, busy and intrusive. He said, It’s ridiculous … they only come in here when they absolutely have to but when you’re around I can’t keep them out.

But after a couple of decades of intimacy, they had their way of sharing things that no one else could decipher. The best time would be during shift changeover; and if he could manage to be in the television room at such a time she’d be able to guide him out through the sliding doors and into the garden then over to the stairs down to the split level underground car park. And he was often sitting there, not watching TV but looking out the glass doors at the birds – crows, honeyeaters, magpies and various parrots. He had a walker frame, which would make the stairs difficult, but he assured her that he could manage a few stairs if she held his arm. With him ensconced in the passenger seat, Nancy then went back for the walker which they’d left hidden behind a bush. There’s a New Holland honeyeater nest in that tree, he said. And that bloody walker gets stuck in the grass, he said, it’s like moving through treacle. They agreed the main thing was to be casual and not make a drama of it.

Early in their planning they had wondered where to head. I reckon we head south and enjoy the coast, said Nancy. No, he said, I want to go inland … we have always been inland people and it’s inland I want to end up.

■ ■ ■

Inland, but far away from their old home, sadly. Just couldn’t risk the vicinity, even the region. No, deeper in, further east. Maybe even somewhere towards the centre. Nancy assured him she’d load their old land cruiser with vats of water, plenty of food, and jerry cans of fuel. They’d always liked camping out, though hadn’t for years since he’d found it more difficult to manage. But it was the end of winter, even if it’d been a dry and warm winter, and they’d be able to light campfires in safe places … and she had packed their portable stove and plenty of food that could be “eaten on the run”. It’s pretty exciting, actually, he said. Yes, said Nancy, full of angst, it is. Neither of them ever mentioned his daughter and what she was likely to do.

■ ■ ■

They drove out of the car park and were seen by the daughter. Nancy looked straight at her as she was getting out of her own car, but her father was staring ahead and didn’t notice, and if he did out the corner of his eye, didn’t register. Later, the daughter would claim that he did look at her and didn’t know who she was or where he was going, that he looked confused and anxious, that she had waved frantically to him, and motioned to Nancy to stop, but while he looked distressed Nancy gave her a defiant look and almost drove her down.

    What Nancy did say to him was, We’d better hoof it because your daughter has just seen us and she’s spitting poison. He said, It will be okay, she doesn’t know anything, she’s a nasty piece of work.

■ ■ ■

Look at those pink and grey galahs, he said, as they drove past heavy green wheat crops, they’re flying funny. Nancy slowed and looked across as a flock of galahs hung in the air like birds of prey, their breasts buffeted by the strong wind which had been pushing the car around. Yes, she said, they are more hovering than flying … like they’re just sitting up there thinking things over. Are you doing okay?

Yes, thanks Nancy, but I need to use the bathroom.

It’s a bit windy out in the open, she laughed, and you’d have the galahs watching you … not that they’d mind … but we’re almost at M. and we can pull over and you can use the bathroom. Do you think you can manage?

Yes, I think so … though I am very tired.

It’s been exhausting. I will get us some fresh coffee … I’ve got everything here to make some, but let’s spoil ourselves.

I am supposed to be off coffee.

So they told me, she said. I will make sure they make you a weak cup … but a strong one for me.

I think I like it black without sugar, he said.

You always have, said Nancy.

■ ■ ■

We’ll be at Hank’s and Min’s place just after sunset, she said.

Do they know we’re coming? he asked.

Yes … I was telling you about it earlier … but you’re tired and you don’t have to remember everything.

I like this light … it’s my favourite time of day.

Nancy went to say, It always has been, but held herself back. She was tired from driving for so long and was starting to worry about the long-term plan. She knew the daughter would have notified the police, and that she would have the care staff onside and the doctor who, though clearly wanting the easiest life possible, was totally hoodwinked by her apparent reverence and obvious flirtations. Nancy had been there once during the doctor’s rounds when the daughter said to the doctor, I hear you are a yachtsman … I love the way the yachts slide through the river at twilight and seem so free. Or some bullshitty crap like that. That’s the way it was, and the gullible doctor who thought he was so on top of it all and firm in his own opinion lapped up the attention. The daughter’s behaviour offended Nancy on every level.

It was almost dark, and they were further from Hank’s and Min’s than she thought. She had been driving slowly. She was starting to baulk as lights of cars approached fast behind and then overtook. One blew its horn for no reason she could discern and made them both jump, and it kept blowing it as it roared past with the sound fading eerily as it roared ahead.

The fact it was a quiet road made it all the more alarming … she had police on the brain. She reached across with one hand and gripped his leg. It was shaking slightly. Are you cold? she asked, worried.

I like this light … it’s my favourite time of day, he said to the darkness.

■ ■ ■

I must have missed the turn-off, she said, flustered. He was coughing and shaking now. I’ll turn back, don’t worry, it won’t be far away. She tried to U turn the car but ended up doing a five point turn before pulling over on the gravel shoulder facing where they’d come from, leaving the engine idling. Here, she said, have a drink of water and there are some biscuits and bananas to keep your blood sugar up. She helped him eat something, the interior light blanking out the roadside scrub and massive paddocks around them … making her feel even more uneasy, as if they were being watched by someone very close in the darkness they’d have no chance of seeing.

I’ve been thinking, he said, I could record all the birds we see … though I can’t remember precisely where we saw them.

That’s a good idea. We’ve seen so many since we left the city this morning.

He’d been a bird watcher all his life and kept detailed records … all handwritten … she was going to help him digitise them around the time things started to get shaky … before that toxic daughter had staged her intervention.

If we turned the engine off maybe we’d hear a tawny frogmouth, he said.

It’s too cold to do that … you need to keep warm.

Tawny frogmouths … he said, before tapering off.

Okay, let’s find this turn-off … you know, it’s down that long gravel driveway, just over a gentle hill … sheltered from the wind. I’ll take a look at the phone GPS, she said … and finding no signal, as she suspected would happen, said, No, I don’t need that … I remember … it’s just a bit further ahead … we haven’t gone far enough … there’s a pair of old wagon wheels either side of the entry and we definitely haven’t seen wagon wheels … She flicked the interior light off, leant across and kissed his cold, bristled cheek, reached for his hand, stretching the inertia belt, and squeezed it. He squeezed back. Okay, she said, let’s swing the car back around and head as we were heading … I reckon I can do it in three points this time. She thought he laughed at this.

■ ■ ■

They reached a town they shouldn’t have reached, but where she could get a signal. She rang the house. Hank answered and said, Sorry, but it’s best you don’t come here anyway … good thing you missed because we’ve had phone calls from the nursing home and the police and his daughter and there’ve been all sorts of veiled threats and crap … and we love you both, but we can’t afford to be put in compromising positions … we could honestly tell them we had no idea where you were … and we didn’t. We rang a few of the old crew and they’d also been contacted … the authorities, or whoever they are, are scouring the state. The nursing home people said that it’s going to be sent out to the news services tomorrow and all that kind of thing. If I were you, I’d give the police a call and say that you’re heading to the regional hospital or something. Nancy, think about it … it isn’t working … you’ve got it all wrong.

■ ■ ■

I tried to tell them, Nance, that angels are just types of birds and they laughed at me. I tried to tell them that I’ve seen egrets picking at the carcasses of dead sheep and that I’ve seen birds flying backwards in Mexico and they laughed even more … they said I was a real card, Nance.

Hummingbirds … yes, I saw them, too, on our first holiday away together … and today we saw pink and grey galahs hovering like hawks … and I am damn sure birds are angels and angels are birds, she reassured him.

Yes. I am cold though … very cold and I need the bathroom.

It’s okay, dear, we’re driving into M now … I’m taking you to the regional hospital and they will warm you up and look after you.

You will stay with me?

Of course, she said, squeezing his cold hand. Always. Don’t let them patronise you … you know more about birds than anyone … and angels, for that bloody matter.

For that bloody matter, he laughed.

■ ■ ■

Where is Nance? he asked.

Nancy can’t come here anymore, said his daughter, she is a bad woman and has been banned. She will be going to court to answer for what she did to you if she recovers.

Recovers from what?

I don’t know … dizzy spells or something she’s cooked up.

She didn’t do anything, he said. I asked her to take me for a drive. I hate this place. Leave Nancy alone, you’ll make her sick!

It’s okay, Dad, nobody is going to hurt you … everyone has your best interests in mind. You’re safe now.

After a long silence during which she checked her phone and sent a few texts, he said, I have started a new list of birds.

That’s nice, Dad, that’s really nice. Look, here’s the doctor! I’ll leave you in his expert hands.

And with that she squeezed his hand and nodded to the doctor who smiled back and then left the room. A few seconds later, just as the doctor started to take his blood pressure, she poked her head back into the room and said, I do love you, Dad … and I am glad you can see lots of birds and things in the garden … it’s a lovely place here. See you next time.