Covid’s currency of guilt and the new police state

Glen Le Lievre

The sight of a police officer has always been accompanied by a particular reaction. It goes like this – slight gasp, a holding of breath, continue at same speed, do not look directly at officer but mentally recap all the things you’ve done wrong recently – the incomplete stop at the Stop sign, a quick park in a no parking spot or the bag of lollies you took from the weird girl in Second Class who always had lollies at play time, even though you only ever had them at parties.

Now the checklist is longer. When an officer looms into view, you check your mask – is it on, does it have to be on at this moment? Did you check in properly? Are you far enough away from the person in front? Are you even meant to be there, like, is it four kilometres away or six, did you get so carried away on the walk that you’re out of area? Is walking really considered exercise and, if so, can you stop and have a drink of water or is that considered having a picnic, which is allowed if you’re jabbed and you can prove it with your phone app. Oh no, you didn’t forget your phone, did you?

It might just be petty criminals like myself but many others are feeling guilty at the sight of uniforms these days if only because we’re never sure about the latest rules – most of us will slip up and we’ve been told that the police are not going to be reprimanded for incorrect fines. And aren’t there a lot of officers around these days.

This guilt checking is new to most of us but I’m guessing that this is just a taste of how it feels to be coloured or poor in certain places, especially places where a police check can be accompanied by a fatal shot.

We’re all on the police radar now and it doesn’t feel fair or deserved or appropriate or democratic – even if it might be necessary.

This guilting must also be how it feels in those Stasi-like states, where the State security is all-powerful, neighbours are duplicitous, appeals are useless, justice is never assured …. I know we’re just talking about the correct use of masks but this is what it feels like. This is what it feels like when surveillance is heavy, rules are vague and penalties are steep for mistakes except when police make them.

Admission. I was caught out of area when the lockdown began and since then have had police visit the property, two highway patrol officers pull me over and a Census officer turn up asking for our form. I felt like shooting the Census guy. Except I didn’t. I wouldn’t. Wouldn’t dream of it. I don’t know where the Census guy is now, officer. I haven’t felt this guilty since I had to prepare for my First Holy Communion by examining my conscience and, like God, there is now an invisible cop sitting on my shoulder counting my sins.

This is exhausting. Apart from fear of dying and fear of contributing to other deaths, this constant checking is exhausting. We are switched on all the time, we are questioning our actions constantly and the amygdala at the back of the brain is permanently primed for flight, fight or freeze (I recommend freeze).

This will end and police officers will (must) go back to getting the bad guys and giving parking fines because it’s not good if everyone in society feels like a criminal. Only a few are. And I admit it. I took the lollies. Shoot me now.

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