Comedian Judith Lucy on marriage, nuns and the family secret that changed her life
Judith Lucy discovered a family secret at the height of her comic powers. Then came a marriage proposal and an intimate portrait she never expected to sit for.
Here’s my best advice if you ever find yourself in a break-up …If I had any actual advice I wouldn’t have wound up doing a show about my last break-up that ended with a slide of my vulva portrait. I had a vulva portrait done by the wonderful Greg Taylor, who is the guy who did all the portraits at MONA. They don’t put your name underneath so that’s a fun game you can play next time you’re there!
On my telly at the moment is …the Elon Musk documentary series, the Murdoch documentary series and Succession. So if you’re not a white, straight billionaire I’m just not interested. I’m expecting a marriage proposal from a one-percenter any day now so it’s all research.
Speaking of marriage … I think a lot of feminists my age when you grew up in the 1980s viewed marriage very differently to how it is now, especially now that we have marriage equality. I grew up with that idea of “Oh, I don’t want to be some man’s property”. A very, very old boyfriend — I was with him a long time ago — proposed to me after our year anniversary. He was on one knee in my living room going “Judith Lucy will you marry me?”. Even at the time I remember thinking “what’s with the surname? Does he have Judith Durham waiting around the corner and he’s just tossing up between the two of us?”. I said yes, because honestly what are you going to say? But it never happened. Never say never, but I have a funny feeling that ship may have sailed for me.
On my mind at 3am … is worrying about whether I’ll ever work again. It’s the old (saying) “you’re only as good as your last gig”. Look, I’m not really lying there awake wondering if I’ll work again. But am I worrying about the play (I’m starring in)? Absolutely. My brain’s default position is worried. Unlike stand-up, (theatre) is something where I’m outside of my comfort zone. Look, you can take the poor old Catholic girl out of the Catholic school — but again, my capacity for guilt is huge. I don’t want to let the audience down.
You won’t find on my CV that time I … did an advertisement for Today FM which involved me dancing with an animated purple hippopotamus. If I survived commercial radio and the hippo thing, I can survive anything.
The weirdest thing in my shopping trolley is … I’ve never used a shopping trolley. It’s only ever a basket. Is that weird?
Starring in Melbourne Theatre Company’s Happy Days is … a cross between a lifelong dream come true and a waking nightmare. When I was knee-high to a grasshopper, I wanted to be an actor. Stand-up comedian was not a career option that many years ago. So apart from a really unfortunate short-lived phase of wanting to be a nun, as most Catholics girls of my age went through, all I ever wanted was to be an actor. If you had told 16-year-old me she was going to be the lead in a Melbourne Theatre Company production, I would have lost my mind. I suppose the thing that’s making it a complete waking nightmare is a high level of anxiety. It’s just been really jumping in at the deep end.
Life at 25 years old was …a big year. I did The Late Show on ABC TV. Then on Christmas Day that year I found out I was adopted. I got a show and a book out of it (the discovery) — don’t you worry about that! I found out by accident after a hideous family fight. Then, almost like a knee-jerk reaction, I set about finding my birth parents. I did meet my birth mother about a year after — I think I met her when I was 27. She will be coming to the closing night of Happy Days.
Life as a 55-year-old is … I’ll tell you after opening night.
Happy Days is showing at Southbank Theatre in Melbourne, May 1 to June 10.