Australians are the earliest to bed in the world — but it comes at a cost

Few places in the world rise as early as coastal Australians. Picture: istock

The expression Down Under has always promised a country with a kooky side. Water goes down the drain the wrong way; animals eat you when you’re having fun; there’s a pink lake and a sideways waterfall; one prime minister held a world record for sculling beer and another disappeared off a beach and is now memorialised in a municipal pool.

But an underrated topsy-turvy trait is how Australians experience their day. Whereas most of the world reveres sunsets, accompanied by cocktails, passeggiata and perving, Australians worship sunrises and do so by exercising and socialising in squads of sweaty strangers. This is particularly so in coastal areas, especially cities and, frankly, we’re looking at you Sydney and your penchant for waking before kookaburras so your fitness trackers can alert friends to the fact that you have done a 10km run before they threw of the covers.

This might have remained a factoid except that the NSW government has just launched a tourism campaign based on the city’s “first light culture of morning activities, wellness and the vibrant brunch scene”.

Hmph. Who knew you could sell a country on the sight of sunrises pocked with squads of runners, cyclists, swimmers and canoeists and their gathering rituals around piccolos and Bircher muesli?

It is, at least, a unique selling point because few places in the world rise as early as coastal Australians (Brisbanites are the earliest risers at 6.35am) and anyone who has been to Europe would have noticed the only people wandering the streets before 8am are Australian tourists searching for a latte.

Perhaps we like sunrises because we’re among the first people in the world to see them every day – a stretch – or maybe we have more impressive dawns that are over the ocean, tinged with sea spray and usually unharried by clouds. Perhaps we began dawn routines when we were milking cows, setting fish traps or warming up tractors, but what’s certain is that the shift to fitness and wellness was well under way before the pandemic authorities declared that the only excuse for being outdoors was to move your body.

So, we started exercising outdoors and never stopped, partly because the police would fine us for an unauthorised stop and partly because many grew to love it.

The work-from-home moment also enabled many who would have been commuting in the early hours to spend those hours on personal wellbeing. It also helps that in the big cities, parking near beaches and parks is free, traffic is smooth and the fitness tracker is a judgmental bed mate.

The net result for our nation’s brand is a “first light culture”; a top ranking for a “unique, indoor-outdoor way of life” from Conde Nast Traveller, a decent ranking in walkable cities survey and a tick for second place in friendliness (perhaps because we’re not so hungover in mornings).

But morning life comes with a cost.

The NSW government has spent the past few years worried about the disappearance of Sydney’s night life. It’s blamed regulations, neighbourly Nimbyism and WFH for killing the night vibes and is so keen to get back all that drunken behaviour it’s set up something called the Uptown District Acceleration Program (which sounds like an electricity grid repair program).

It might not have occurred to city planners that if residents are active at dawn and downing a pressed juice by 7.30, they’re not going to be necking Negronis and abalone party pies at 11pm. If they’d just checked those fitness trackers, they’d have found that with a bedtime of 10.45, Australians are the earliest to bed in the world.

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