Blood, broken doors, holes in walls. Parents of game-obsessed teens begging for help

Robert* hasn’t had a decent sleep in years. For hours through the night, he hears his son, 15, downstairs, talking, laughing, and shouting with fellow video gamers all over the world. “Kill him!” he’ll yell. “Get him!”

He’s given up fighting it. The conflict was too bad. When Robert turned the modem off, his son would get aggressive “to the point of punching holes in the walls,” he said. “Blood. We’ve been scared. Our home had become sad and unhappy.”

Psychologists say parents are crying out for more support to help their gaming-addicted kidsCredit: iStock

Anna’s son’s gaming intensified during lockdown. He became so adept at flicking to school sites on his computer when she checked on him, that she didn’t realise he’d done no lessons until his teacher called after six weeks.

She did notice his behaviour change. “Lots of emotional outbursts, lots of fights,” Anna said.

“It was very dramatic and scarring and it was hard to understand. We are educated, involved parents. The main problem was that the device he required to access the curriculum was the very device delivering him the highly addictive product.”

Neither Anna nor Robert knew what to do. They’re not alone. Up to 3 per cent of Australian children and adolescents meet the threshold for Internet Gaming Disorder, and up to 10 per cent game in a way that’s considered hazardous or problematic use.

Leaders in the field say parents need help, and they’re struggling to find it. Seven experts, ranging from university academics to child psychologists and psychiatrists, have signed a joint statement calling on more engagement from governments.

“Although many Australian parents and professionals are concerned about the impacts of screen and gaming disorders on affected young people, there has been little recognition from policymakers, education departments and the health sector around problematic use,” the statement said.

“These issues affect tens of thousands of Australian children and teens, and there needs to be a coordinated response to better support public education, research, and treatment options for affected families.

“Speaking constructively with specialist clinicians and researchers in the field would be a good place to start”.

One of the signatories, Brad Marshall, runs the Screen and Gaming Disorder Clinic. He began specialising in it because, as a young psychologist who had played online games himself, parents were seeking him out.

Screenshot from popular video game Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, or CS:GO.

He now has a nine-month waiting list. But as a private practitioner, his fees are unaffordable for many families. “The only kids that can get treatment are upper to middle class,” he said.

He has seen parents take out apprehended violence orders. He has seen children miss the best part of a year at school. One boy finally returned after a month at home recently, only to break his leg. “He fractured his femur due to low bone density because he had been so sedentary. Even the physical impacts are crazy.”

Robert’s son used to be sporty. “He’s given up all that stuff now,” he told the Herald. “He won’t leave the house. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with what he’s doing. He says it makes him happy. And when he’s gaming ... he does sound happy.”

Brad Marshall runs one of the few gaming disorder clinics in Australia. Credit: Peter Rae

Another woman, Sarah, dates her family’s problems back to when her son’s school required them to buy him an iPad, and then a laptop. Before that, they had worked hard to limit screen use. When it became a problem, they tried to restrict him.

He rebelled. “He was not sleeping at all, all night long, every night, for three months.” They tried making agreements. “It worked for five minutes, but then it didn’t work.” They locked his computer away. He forced the door.

They bought a modem that could restrict internet to individual devices. He bypassed that as well. “The relationship with your kid becomes atrocious because they see us as the enemy,” Sarah said. “For two or three years, we haven’t slept too much.”

Recent research led by Macquarie University Associate Professor Wayne Warburton - another signatory to the statement - found those most vulnerable to IGD not only struggled with their impulses, but also felt unsupported or disconnected within their family, and disempowered in their outside environment.

It found the likelihood of a teen having a clinical problem grew with risk factors, such as being male, having low self-esteem, and feeling socially isolated. But the risk fell when students had higher self-esteem, were socially connected, and had a strong family environment.

A screenshot from popular mobile phone video game, Clash of Clans.Credit:

Warburton is doing research on the Central Coast later this year, in conjunction with German scholars, that will use medical imaging to monitor changes in the brain, but Marshall said Australia lagged many countries on both research and treatment.

The United Kingdom’s National Health Service set up its first specialist clinic to treat gaming addiction three years ago.

There, general practitioners can refer young people aged between 13 and 25 to the service, which is part of the National Centre for Behavioural Addictions. “Here, unless they can afford a clinic like mine, they get nothing,” said Marshall.

Marshall said problematic screen use is being left to parents to manage, with little support. Like Anna and Sarah, many say the problem began when the school required them to buy devices for their children to use at school.

Anna’s son was in primary school when she was first asked to buy an iPad. “When schools set homework that requires a lot of internet and WiFi access, they’re setting 10 per cent of Australian families up for a war,” he said.

“When we rely too heavily on [Bring Your Own Device], you get a scenario in classrooms where, I think most teachers would agree, they are constantly monitoring devices. I’m not advocating zero tech. What I’m saying is the department needs to think about how to balance the benefits.”

Governments must invest more in treatment, in educating the health workforce, in parent support and in early intervention, Marshall said. “How do you put things in place for parents when their son is eight, not 18?”

In a statement, NSW Health said symptoms associated with problem gaming often indicated other underlying problems, such as depression, anxiety or social issues, and could be treated the same way as those issues. Health and Education ran resilience programs in schools.

But Marshall said the government’s response showed it did not understand gaming. “Can gaming disorder exist with those issues? Yes of course. But I don’t believe the current treatment services have the expertise to address IGD.”

Education Minister Sarah Mitchell said managing technology was a challenge for both parents and teachers.

“As it is always advancing we must also continue to develop ways to manage issues as they arise,” she said. “School communities are very good at working on technology approaches that suit their local school context.”

Jocelyn Brewer, a child psychologist who runs healthy tech program Digital Nutrition, said young people liked gaming because it provided opportunities for connection – via online chat programs – and a way to unwind and cope.

Many felt a sense of belonging, and, in moderation and with offline activities maintained, most can have a healthy relationship with devices. However, some needed significant psychological interventions which often involved family therapy.

The other signatories to the statement were Professor John Saunders from the University of Queensland, Jordan Foster, the managing director of ySafe, psychiatrist Huu Kim Le from CGI clinic in Adelaide, Vasileios Stavropoulos from Victoria University, and Professor Vladan Starcevic from the University of Sydney.

• Pseudonyms were used to protect the identity of the children.

Mental Health Line: 1800 011 511. Parent Line: 1300 1300 52. Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800.

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