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Only in America: Dallas Cowboys’ season theme lost in translation

The best thing about fun at the NRL’s expense is you can still do it pretty cheap! Nineteen to the dozen, everything must go! Out! Out! Out! They call me Crazy Pete!

A case in point was this week when TFF noted the absurdity of the NFL going to all that effort of bringing a competition match to Sydney when there is a much easier way to get a big audience. Why not just hold their match straight after the NRL’s now-annual jaunt to Vegas and piggyback on the tens of millions of viewers they were claiming would be watching! (Most readers seemed to enjoy it. Some of the leaguies, not so much.)

And yet, how funny I should mention the NFL, for there really is something some in Australian sport could pinch from them. For, this week, Dallas Cowboys coach Mike McCarthy’s announced the chosen theme for the 2024 NFL season which has just begun.

He calls it, ahem, “Rooted”, and there is even merchandise proclaiming it. The inspiration according to the Cowboys website is “. . . tied to a specific Chinese bamboo tree that requires its seeds be watered for four years without the reward of growth until the fifth year — when the tree not only begins to finally sprout, but explosively, growing at a pace of upwards of one inch every 40 minutes, upwards of three feet per day to a height of nearly 90 feet in a month’s time.”

Are you way ahead of me? After the Wallabies’ performance against Argentina in the early hours of Sunday morning – leading Argentina 20-3 after seventeen minutes, only to have the Pumas score 64 points, to win 67-27 – surely “Rooted” might be the Wallaby motif too?

After Eddie’s debacle last year, the seeds have been planted, and we are struggling. Right now, we are “Rooted”! The merchandise will fly off the shelf.

Cowboys coach Mike McCarthy with quarterback Dak Prescott.

Cowboys coach Mike McCarthy with quarterback Dak Prescott.Credit: Getty

But, in a faster time frame of growth than the Cowboys, we will be in shape for the Lions, by next year!

Mighty Mick going strong at 48

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Listen, while it’s one thing for older sportspeople to defy Father Time, it really is something special when they can look Grandfather Time in the eye and hold their own.

Bouquets, thus, to the 48-year-old Mick Dodson, a grandfather himself who, playing alongside his son Ryan, anchored the Queanbeyan Roos last Sunday arvo as they won the Canberra first-grade rugby league grand final. (As if you didn’t know, the Canberra Raiders Cup is quite a strong competition by country standards, so it really was something for Mick to be chopping down blokes half his age, some of whom have played NRL.) Last I heard he intends to keep going, and has already played over 500 games.

Swans rejoice and Giants lament.

Swans rejoice and Giants lament.Credit: AFL Photos

Yep, I told ya’ll … Again

Oh, come on, youse guys, it’s not just about ME. But yes, you’re right. My prediction in last week’s TFF did prove to be a little on the stunning side of things. ”Swans and Giants,” I wrote in Team of the Week, “meet at the SCG in a final on Saturday afternoon. The Swans will win, but be lucky to do so. You heard it here first.”

Thank you, thank you all! As it turned out, it happened exactly as I predicted. The Giants led for 124 minutes, only to be hauled in with two minutes to go, and the Swans finally winning 88-82. I shall be in my trailer. This week I predict, the Giants will defeat the Lions bringing an all-Sydney grand final one step closer.

But, Members of the Academy, I repeat. It is not just about me. It really is about Aussie Rules in Sydney, and how well it is going. There have been several “creation stories” of the moment it hit the Big Time, including Plugger’s point after the siren in 1996 to beat Essendon in the Preliminary Final; winning the Premiership in 2005 and Buddy Franklin’s thousandth goal are three of them.

The AFL investigated this incident between Jason McCartney and Tom Papley.

The AFL investigated this incident between Jason McCartney and Tom Papley.Credit: Seven Network

But last Saturday’s final between the Swans and the Giants has to be up there, not just because it was such a great game. It was the context, with two Sydney sides taking each other on as respected rivals in front of 43,189 screaming fans at an SCG not remotely big enough to hold all those who wanted to be there.

Since Adam Kingsley has taken over as coach the Giants are serious contenders and though unlucky not to make last year’s grand final, could still make this year’s. If the two Sydney sides meet each other at the MCG on the last Saturday in September, my pound to your peanut says the AFL will look to a third Sydney AFL team.

I told you: You heard it here first!

What They Said

Isaac Heeney on the crowd against the Giants: “It was pretty nice – this is as loud as I’ve heard it. We’ve always got that belief, and we seem to finish off strong, but we need to do better in the first half. That [finish] was off chops. It’s unbelievable. Bring it on.” Off chops? Che?

Raiders coach Ricky Stuart when there was an unlikely chance they could make the top eight if the Dolphins and Knights drew: “Our review’s at church tomorrow at Manuka in the big cathedral. We’ll say a couple of prayers.”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell: “We expect to be in Australia soon. We’re going to make sure that our game is available around the globe.”

Rochelle Heeney, mother of Isaac, praises Giant Jack Buckley after he held his hand on the way down from that incredible mark: “As his mum, I would love to give [Jake] Buckley a hug and thank him for Isaac not landing on his head!

Credit: 7 Network

Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt after that record loss: “We will review the entire match, there were some positives in those first 30 minutes, but we cannot let a game get away from us like it did and fall off a cliff effectively.”

Miami Dolphin Tyreek Hill after he was pulled over for speeding three hours before the game against Jackonsville Jaguars kicked off, placed in handcuffs and thrown to the ground – the footage is truly shocking – before being released: “Right now, I’m still trying to put it all together . . . I still don’t know what happened.” After scoring a touchdown, he held out his hands as if they were cuffed, in what was interpreted as a strong “cheerio” to the Miami Police.

Hill raises a fair point after the game, referring to the brutal nature with which the police dealt with him: “What if I wasn’t Tyreek Hill? Lord knows what those guys would have done. I just wanted to make sure I was doing what my uncle always told me to do whenever you’re in a situation like that - put your hands on the steering wheel and just listen.”

Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson on a rough day of the office: “I’ll always be Deshaun Watson, regardless of whoever else says otherwise.” That’s settled then.

American Taylor Fritz on losing the US Open final: “It’s really disappointing right now. ... I feel like the fans obviously, American fans, been wanting a men’s champion for a long time, and ... I’m pretty upset with how I played. I feel like, I don’t know, I feel like I almost let a lot of people down.” Not as much as 47% of your nation who continue to support Trump, but don’t get me started.

Taylor Fritz congratulates Jannik Sinner at the net after the final.

Taylor Fritz congratulates Jannik Sinner at the net after the final.Credit: Getty Images

Australian Paralympic swimmer Tim Hodge hoping for increased funding from the government, unveils a great line: “While the Olympics is the epitome of human excellence, the Paralympics is the epitome of human resilience.”

Joe Root on England losing to Sri Lanka: “I don’t think we played our best cricket this week and that is going to happen from time to time. Coldplay can’t be number one every week.” You used to rule the world, Joe. Seas would rise when you gave the word.

Brisbane Lions great Mitch Robinson, who retired in 2022, posts on Twitter last Saturday night, before deleting later: “Imagine playing and bleeding for a club for eight years, copping copious amounts of head knocks and staples in my face (long-term effects) just to have my family turned away to come down to the rooms after the game to celebrate with my old teammates. Football is a fake family, just remember that. I’ll never go to a Lions game again.”

Team of the Week

Emerson Jones. We now have our first junior girls world No.1 tennis player since 1998. And she has a great name, yes? “Emerson Jones”. Born to be famous!

Rising star Emerson Jones.

Rising star Emerson Jones.Credit: AP

Josh Addo-Carr. It wasn’t just that he failed at least the first half of a drug test. The rest of it appeared to have failed the pub test – so many conflicting stories and robust denials, and yet he still missed the first match of the finals. The Bulldogs say he stood himself down but, seriously, who knows?

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Farrer Memorial Agricultural High School Tamworth. The country boys coached by Rory Marshman tackled their hearts out against the boys from the Big Smoke to first become CHS champions and, this week, win the Waratah Shield. This is your one good news story from rugby this week. We now resume our normal transmission.

Swans. Host a preliminary final next Friday. Both previous ones at the SCG resulted in one-point wins to the goodies.

Paralympics. The Australian team won 63 medals (18 gold, 17 silver and 28 bronze). Our fewest since 1980 – though that seems rather beside the point.

James Slipper. The great prop is now level with George Gregan on 139 Wallaby caps.

Jordan Thompson and Max Purcell. The Australian duo made up for the heartbreak of Wimbledon by winning US Open doubles. (Is this sentence tautological? Discuss.)

X/Twitter: @Peter_Fitz

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