PM Dutton would dodge The Lodge for Kirribilli. Can’t blame him. But is this WFH or WTF?

Sheesh, spare a thought for the good burghers of Kallangur (QLD, 4503). Barely one morning into the first working day of a federal election campaign and their local member, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, was making plans to relocate to Sydney if elected to high office.

Now anyone in need of a quick post-election powwow with the member for Dickson is staring down the barrel of a nine hour, 43-minute commute to Kirribilli, where Dutton, resplendent in a business shirt and pair of tracky-daks, will be firmly in work-from-home mode. On the upside, jet-lagged constituents hailing from the People’s Republic of Queensland will be greeted by priceless harbour vistas.

Dutton said he would move his family to Kirribilli House if he became prime minister.Credit: airviewonline.com

On the downside, Dutton mightn’t be that interested in discussing Some Local’s petition for a set of traffic lights at the corner of Remember This Place Drive and Only Water Views When It Rains Crescent, Kallangur, when he’s suddenly contending with the (frankly criminal) price of parking in nearby Milsons Point.

For those who missed it (anyone in NSW who dislikes bogan radio and – if the ratings are to be believed – basically everyone in Victoria), the subject of Dutton’s mooted move to Sydney arose on the Kyle and Jackie O Show this morning.

The opposition leader, having submitted to a grilling by KIIS-FM’s two foremost political heavy hitters, was asked which city he and his family planned to relocate to if he won the top job at the coming election.

Credit: Matt Golding

“We would live in Kirribilli,” Dutton declared. “We love Sydney, we love the harbour – it’s a great city. You’ve got the choice between Kirribilli or living in Canberra. I think I’ll take Sydney any day over living in Canberra.”

Now here’s a statement I did not envisage making before today: Peter Dutton, on one level at least, I am here for you. As someone who, for a variety of financial and familial reasons, summered in Queanbeyan for her entire childhood, I have some sympathy for anyone who wants to avoid the nation’s capital.

Despite what its rusted-on residents will tell you, no amount of marketing hocus-pocus will transform Lake Burley Griffin into Sydney Harbour. There’s the Mint, the High Court and the miniatures at Cockington Green. By all means, go for a school excursion. Go for a weekend, even. Good food, good coffee, good grief, it’s cold, goodbye.

Dodging The Lodge: Peter Dutton wants to live in Sydney if he becomes PM.Credit: James Brickwood

But back to Dutton. For a guy who’s on the record as wanting an urgent end to the working-from-home era, you’d think positioning himself as close as possible to Parliament House would be the priority. Forget all this woke-minded work/life balance malarkey – as a first-time PM, Dutton should be demonstrating his commitment to the cause by moving his knick-knacks into the PM’s office and listing his new postcode as “Under My Desk”. Apparently not.

Liveability of Canberra notwithstanding, when exactly did an ocean view become a prerequisite for a prime ministership? Also, how many frequent flyer miles does one accrue on a Sydney-Kallangur-Canberra round trip? Newly minted Copacabana resident Anthony Albanese, himself no stranger to fancy digs by the sea, could barely contain his glee, claiming Dutton was already “measuring up the curtains” at Kirribilli House, despite not actually having been elected.

“[There is] a fair bit of hubris behind that comment, I think,” Albanese said. “I do spend time in Sydney, obviously. My electorate is there. But I believe the prime minister should live in the Lodge.”

Could someone please call a mathematician? If you add hubris plus Albanese’s stonking great fancy pile of bricks on the NSW Central Coast (which isn’t his primary residence, but still), does anyone else come up with an answer along the lines of “maybe you should concentrate on your own campaign, Anthony?”

Tortured logic notwithstanding, Albanese does have a point. One of the upsides of churning through prime ministers, as Australians have in recent years, is that voters have selflessly created a large number of case studies for comparative purposes.

John Howard and Scott Morrison were both from NSW and divided their time between Kirribilli House and The Lodge in Canberra. Tony Abbott, also representing a NSW constituency, stayed in Kirribilli while The Lodge was being renovated. Malcolm Turnbull, again from NSW, lived instead in his Point Piper home before moving to The Lodge.

Kevin Rudd, from Queensland, stayed in The Lodge. Julia Gillard, from Victoria, also elected to forgo the water views and moved into The Lodge in 2010. In short, Kirribilli House has done a brisk trade in prime ministers who could access their own electorates with a sympathetic breeze and a catapult. Everyone else moved to the nation’s capital.

All of this brings us back to Dutton. As a Queenslander whose job is ostensibly in Kallangur or Canberra, he should plan to pop on a Maroons jersey and acquaint himself with Coles in Tuggeranong. And if he wants a water view, Batemans Bay is basically a stone’s throw away.

Michelle Cazzulino is a freelance writer.