With ageing parents, kids and jobs, life for the ‘sandwich generation’ is no picnic

Not long ago, Karina Joyce had the ideal job come across her desk: “A job so perfectly suited to me that I would get it hands down if I applied – but I can’t!”

The problem is, Joyce is so busy supporting everyone else she loves, she is seriously limited to what she can pursue for herself. It’s a position many Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1980) and Millennial (1981-1996) women – and yes, research suggests it’s still mostly women – find themselves in.

Karina Joyce is one of the “sandwich generation” who juggles her life with caring for her adult children, grandchildren and elderly relatives.Credit: Chris Hopkins

“I can’t apply for it because everyone else needs me,” says Joyce, whose 360-degree caring responsibilities, plus work and a relationship, wedge her firmly into what has been dubbed “the sandwich generation”.

Her partner’s much-loved father, Ivan, 91, lives with Joyce and her partner two weeks on, two weeks off (his other bedroom is at another relative’s home).

Joyce, 57, helps out with grandchildren and does whatever she can for her two busy adult children and is running her own start-up health business full-time.

“Every day, there’s always some sort of mini-dilemma I’ve got to deal with,” says Joyce, who stresses she has no regrets – and less spare time. “I get out of bed and it’s straight into top gear ... there’s no off switch, even on weekends.”

Joyce’s father-in-law, Ivan Tandora, lives with her and her partner for two weeks on and two weeks off.Credit: Chris Hopkins

As part of a lifestyle she describes as “Groundhog Day in my house, every day”, you may find her on her hands and knees cleaning an accident off the floor, helping her daughter source a repair company for a broken heater or having grandchildren overnight to give the parents a break, around her own work.

“I was at the computer at 6am today catching up on work from yesterday,” she says. The previous weekend, Joyce is not ashamed to say, she found herself teary and Googling support lines looking for respite options for exhausted carers.

The term “sandwich generation” was coined in the 1980s for adults with children under 18 and parents over 65, but it now colloquially includes anyone whose children and ageing parents need simultaneous support.

Credit: Matt Golding

Dr Michelle O’Shea, from the University of Western Sydney business school, has researched the jam for people straddling caring involvement with children still at home or for whom they remain a key support, along with caring for elders and balancing their own, full lives.

The phenomenon has increased as many Australians choose to start their families later, people live longer, and more women – who traditionally shouldered most of the care burden, and research suggests, still do – are in the paid workforce.

Women also work for more years than many in previous generations did.

O’Shea’s research in progress with 10,000 people examines the status of those with at least one dependant child who are also looking after an ageing relative or someone with a chronic condition, meaning they are responsible for “intergenerational care”.

“They are stepping back from careers and looking to go part-time, and they are forgoing professional opportunities at work [because of care duties],” says O’Shea, “which has significant ramifications for their future financial security.

Dr Michelle O’Shea says the “sandwich generation” often experiences high demands and stress caring for both younger and older generations.Credit:

“This cohort is in significant distress and has high stress, which is problematic for wellbeing.”

A constant mental load carried by sandwich-generation carers means “they have little time for self [care]”.

Contrary to the perception that employers have become more flexible since the pandemic, research subjects said employers made it hard for them to get vital flexibility.

“There was just complete inflexibility in their workplaces,” said O’Shea, whose work, when completed, will include proposed solutions.

‘I’m always torn, trying to meet everyone’s needs, my life is a constant juggling act. It makes me so very tired and sometimes I get resentful.’

Sandwich-generation carer, quoted in Dr Michelle O’Shea’s research

“A one-off occasion was OK, but as soon as they were needing an ongoing arrangement which enabled some flexibility, all of a sudden their role was no longer tenable or there was significant pressure.”

One respondent said: “I’m always torn trying to meet everyone’s needs, it is a constant juggling act. It makes me so very tired, and some days I feel resentful. I feel like I’m losing myself, and I don’t laugh much any more.”

The researcher said this comment made her feel sad, as did the fact the respondents – mainly women – said their leisure time was minimal, as was time for any pursuits other than caring and work.

The over-50s insurance body Australian Seniors published its own data this month, a white paper on the status of “sandwich generation” people, which revealed nearly half of women (48 per cent) believe society expects them to take on the caring roles, compared with 20 per cent of men who feel that pressure.

About two-thirds (64 per cent) of women believe they bear a greater burden of caregiving, where 30 per cent of men felt it fell to them. Australian Seniors commissioned an independent research agency to survey 4533 Australians aged 50 or older with caregiving roles.

“Women report spending more hours per week on unpaid care, and experience more symptoms of burnout, such as feeling overwhelmed (55 per cent of women v 29 per cent of men),” the research found.

Both the Australian Seniors paper, Sandwich Generation Report 2025, and O’Shea identified the squeeze on sandwich carers as significant because of the financial and wellbeing implications for a growing Australian demographic.

Tai Rotem, a social trends researcher who ran the sandwich generation carers survey for Australian Seniors, said one in four respondents reported they also lived with the guilt of feeling they were not doing enough for their loved ones.

Karina Joyce, 57, runs her own business around helping her adult children, caring for grandchildren and her partner’s father, Ivan Tandora.Credit: Chris Hopkins

Emotional, rather than physical or logistical, labour weighed most heavily on the carers.

Perceived unequal division of responsibilities between siblings came through in the data, Rotem said, and two in three respondents reported tension in families over caregiving.

Two in five said balancing caregiving and work was their biggest challenge, and “three out of five have had to choose between professional responsibilities and caregiving”, he said.

As the next generation of parents becomes the next generation of sandwich carers, O’Shea said something must change at a policy level to encourage flexible work.

“A failure to do that is not just a failure for individual women,” she said. “It doesn’t allow the government to fulfil some of its objectives with regard to people ageing in place.”

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