This was published 2 years ago
Opinion
The drawbridge is down: Here’s some handy hints on dealing with tourists
Jenny Sinclair
ContributorAs of Monday, it’s been 703 days since our borders were open.
Sure, there’s been the odd exemption: a few students here and there, some fruit pickers, a handful of tennis players, some of whom even left the airport. But Fortress Australia has essentially been in place for two years, and we might be a bit rusty at the visitor-welcoming game.
Just as it felt weird the first time we had guests in our actual homes after months of lockdown, there’s going to be a bit to adjust when the first intrepid travellers spill out of the gates at Tullamarine and Avalon and onto the streets of Melbourne.
There’s no denying it will be a shock. For all our diversity as a nation, two years of being “all in this together” has turned our focus inwards. And we may have forgotten what it’s like to have people who don’t actually live here wandering around.
As Tourism Australia boss Phillipa Harrison said recently: “We are in very real danger of losing our market share globally if we don’t do this properly.″
So, here are a few reminders on how to do it.
If you see a little group of people huddled together around their phones, they may not be on TikTok; they may be trying to figure out how to get to their Airbnb. When offering them directions, keep in mind that where they’re from, the sun may shine from the south, so they could be holding their map completely upside-down. Gently correct them.
Similarly, when addressing North Americans, try to speak their language: use “sidewalk,” remember that the ground floor of a building is, to them, the “first floor” and if they ask to use the “bathroom”, it’s not what you think.
When walking down the street and driving near tourist attractions over the next few months, be alert for people sticking to the right. I’m looking at you, Great Ocean Road.
At the market, if your path is blocked by people breathlessly photographing a cheese display while you’re trying to do your weekly shop, don’t sigh loudly and elbow them aside. Instead, why not offer to take their photograph with a novelty eggplant?
And if you see a bunch of people marching down the street, waving a flag, don’t make a snarky comment. They’re probably just a tour group looking for a laneway full of graffiti. (Hosier Lane is at Melway’s map 2F, G5.)
Under no circumstances should you sidle up to newly arrived visitors (identifiable by their “suitcases” and “passports” – Google it) and warn them about drop bears and bunyips.
It might also be a good idea to avoid mentioning the snakes, spiders, jellyfish and sharks.
If in doubt while talking to tourists, throw in a few words like “mate”, “beauty” and “ripper”. In emergencies, you may deploy “woop woop”, “dunny” and, in extreme cases, “fair dinkum”.
Tourism Australia has estimated that international tourists spent $44.6 billion in Australia in 2018-19, a figure which plummeted during the pandemic. The money will be nice. But, bloody oath, so will the people.
Don’t forget to say g’day.
Jenny Sinclair is a Melbourne writer.