Ryan accidentally swiped ‘no’ to Nell on Tinder. It took him three years to find her

Model and beauty influencer Onella Muralidharan, 26, met her fiancé, Ryan Smith, 26, on Tinder. From the start, they’ve shared the same life goals, though she’d like more cuddles – and he’d like a little more enthusiasm for his dad jokes.

Ryan Smith and Onella Muralidharan. “In Ryan, I’ve found someone who doesn’t care about my weight or skin,” says Muralidharan.Credit: Elke Meitzel

ONELLA: I matched with Ryan on Tinder on Christmas Day, 2021. I was isolating in my bedroom because I’d been exposed to COVID-19. Ryan had a really bad profile: blurry photos and some pictures of his cats. I swiped anyway.

Early on, I went to his house. It was my birthday and he made me a fruit platter with mangoes and served it with moscato and sparkling water. He’d also dipped strawberries in vegan chocolate. We were co-parenting a puppy three months later and moved in together in 2022. I was 23.

Just before I met Ryan, I won a modelling competition and left my retail job to pursue modelling and content creation on social media. I’m short, curvy and have a very apparent skin condition, vitiligo, none of which fits the supermodel category. I wanted to represent people who don’t conform to beauty norms.

My natural skin tone is dark, but with vitiligo, an autoimmune condition, my body removes the pigment in my cells, which gives me white patches. Sometimes, I wake up with a new white spot, or a new dark spot where the pigment has returned.

When we first started dating, it was very much Ryan supporting me; I’ve had anxiety since I was five. But then he got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 2023 and his hands started swelling and locking. His condition worsened and he’s now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia; he lives with a lot of pain.

‘He helped a blind man cross the road recently, not long after rescuing an echidna on the freeway. I see his kindness.’

Onella Muralidharan

Since stopping work, Ryan helps me film and edit content; we now work together. My focus is body positivity stuff and his is the TikTok videos about us as a couple. At first, I didn’t want to make them, but they do well. We argue about everything from the dishes to how we get more content up and whose idea is best.

We live in outer-suburban Melbourne and I often go to Sydney for work but get really bad travel anxiety. Once, he stayed on the phone with me the whole night. I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack and calling out to him, “Ryan! Ryan!” He woke up in Melbourne startled.

Ryan has a lot of dad jokes and some are funny. He also loves to cuddle our dogs [they now have two] and I feel left out, like, “Where are my cuddles?” He helped a blind man cross the road recently, not long after rescuing an echidna on the freeway. I see his kindness.

One of the most shocking comments I’ve had on my posts was, “You look so much better white; you’re lucky you’re losing the brown.”

“We share the same goals,” says Smith. The 26-year-olds recently became engaged and have purchased and renovated a house together.Credit: @onella_am/Instagram

I wasn’t bullied in school so I’m confident in my skin, but I worry those comments will negatively impact others. It’s actually sad when I lose my darker spots because they connect me to my heritage as a Sri Lankan-Australian. But I also embrace my vitiligo, because it’s made me who I am.

In Ryan, I’ve found someone who doesn’t care about my weight or skin. We don’t all look alike; we should celebrate our differences.

RYAN: I hadn’t gone on a date in five years, but felt pretty cosy in my single male lifestyle. I had a self-contained unit on my mum’s property and two cats; they were the only company I needed. Nell’s profile popped up about three years before we matched. I thought she was beautiful but accidentally swiped “No”.

There’s a little picture of the profiles you’ve said no to, so I screenshotted that and searched for her. But she’d called herself Nella on Tinder and I couldn’t find her on social media. When she popped up again, I paid a few dollars for the Tinder “Super Like” function. It was a good investment.

Nell really wants to make society more understanding, open and forgiving. A lot of the characteristics in her I admire are to do with her mind. We share the same goals: a lot of people in their 20s are just interested in partying and going out. We wanted to meet someone you’re going to stick with for life, own a nice home, grow a family.

‘Nell pushes me to be vulnerable and tell her when I need support.’

Ryan Smith

As soon as we got together, I wanted a career path that was going to be more rewarding and better paid, so I moved from retail to work for BlueScope Steel. I’d often be operating a crane, standing on my feet for 12 hours, barely taking breaks, and I started to really feel the pain in my feet and hands. When we first met, I did a lot of the housework, but things like mowing and vacuuming started to cause irritation and pain.

That’s when Nell stepped in and helped. She pushes me to be vulnerable and tell her when I need support. That’s a really important thing in a relationship, knowing when to lean on the other person. I’m still learning to do that.

When we first met, I thought, “Oh, this is cool; I’m dating a model.” It’s been really inspiring to be involved in that journey with her. At times, we butt heads because we have different visions or we interpret briefs differently. She’s probably more creative and I’m more business-minded; I’m quick to learn the TikTok trends. But when we have conflict, it’s mainly due to miscommunication.

There are periods when Nell’s anxiety can get quite bad, but she’s able to lean on me and I find it fulfilling to offer that support. She shares her anxiety openly on her socials in the hope that it helps others, which is powerful.

Often, when I tell a classic dad joke, she rolls her eyes. That’s annoying, but not much about her gets under my skin. I do cuddle the dogs more, but if we’re in bed I can feel the heat radiating off her; I hate being too warm. Even though they’re big, furry animals, the dogs don’t make me feel as sweaty and clammy.

We’ve bought and renovated a house together. We went through my work difficulties and medical stuff, the stresses of her work, and we’ve come out the other side of each challenge. I feel we’ve rocked the boat plenty already; we know we can make it through.

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