‘Above all, it’s peaceful’: The families opting out of Christmas stress
This Christmas, Lucy Michalakellis and her family are more than 1300 kilometres from their suburban home on Brisbane’s southside.
Technically, they’re house sitting. They are, in fact, looking after a 200,000-hectare cattle station in Cameron Corner, where the borders of Queensland, NSW and South Australia meet, deep in outback Australia.
Lucy Michalakellis, 32, her husband Dimitri, 34, and daughters Pip, 6, and Josie, 3, are spending Christmas in the outback, more than 1300 kilometres from their Brisbane home.
This is not the first year Lucy, husband Dimitri and their daughters, six-year-old Pip and three-year-old Josie, have skipped a traditional family Christmas.
Heaving shopping centres. Even busier car parks. Back-to-back social engagements. And throw in the December heat and humidity. It’s a recipe for stress and exhaustion in the silly season.
The Michalakellises are among those choosing to opt out.
“I’ve always been somewhat of a minimalist, so when we started our family in 2018 we switched our focus to experiences rather than possessions,” Lucy said.
“With not a lot of money, we started looking into house sitting and found a beautiful home in Adelaide to spend a month at in December 2019.”
The family was struck by tragedy the following year, when Dimitri’s sister Mersina Axiom was killed by a drunk driver.
“She was very into Christmas and I would say brought the most energy to family Christmas each year,” Lucy said. “None of it feels the same now without her.”
The tragedy, and the following COVID years, reinforced the couple’s decision to eschew the traditional trappings of Christmas.
“Last year, we house sat for families in Texas, Montana and Colorado in the USA,” Lucy said.
“We spent our Christmas Day on a snowy little mountain in Montana just playing with our kids, eating a big pot of chilli and spending time together.”
This year, Lucy spotted the opportunity to house sit in Cameron Corner on a Facebook page for Aussie Farm Sitters and jumped on it.
“It’s beautiful out here,” she said. “The nearest neighbour is 60 kilometres down the road.”
Temperatures in red-dirt country typically soar into the mid-40s at this time of year.
Lucy Michalakellis, with husband Dimitri and daughters Pip and Josie in Cameron Corner.
“It’s been very, very hot,” Lucy said.
“But above all it’s peaceful. The birdlife is stunning. All we hear all day is chickens, the breeze and an occasional moo.”
On Christmas Day, Lucy will be up early bottle feeding a calf, feeding the chickens, goats and ducks, and then walking the five muster dogs and two house dogs. And that’s all before the kids wake up.
“But I can’t say I’ve missed being inside a shopping centre in the lead-up to Christmas – that’s always a nightmare,” she said.
“We do have small gifts each year because what’s Christmas without a couple of presents, but it’s never extravagant.”
And the Elf on the Shelf elves do travel with the family to sprinkle some Christmas magic. “They make our girls laugh a lot,” Lucy said.
She hopes her daughters will value the time they have spent together making memories, “rather than having more plastic toys scattered across their bedroom floor”.
Clinical psychologist Tamara Cavenett, a former president of the Australian Psychological Society, has previously spoken about people who choose to avoid the pressures of Christmas.
“It’s not that unusual for people to do Christmas in a different way than what we think is traditional,” she told this masthead two years ago.
“We assume that Christmas is a happy time for everyone ... [but] a lot of people have conflict with family, or are going through a difficult time themselves, or grieving loss, and this time of year is very hard.
“Often in the lead-up to Christmas there’s been a lot of events, and work is usually very busy as people tie things up, so many people enter this time of year exhausted.”
Nathan Campbell and his family are staying in Brisbane, but have chosen to wind down after an extra-long 11-week school term.
His wife, Robyn, is a school teacher, while Nathan is the pastor of City South Presbyterian Church in Annerley.
With his birthday falling on Christmas Day – he will turn 41 on Wednesday – he’s resisting the temptation to make this the busiest time of the year.
Nathan Campbell, a Brisbane pastor, cancelled his church’s large carols night, as well as the Christmas Day service.
He noticed his congregation needed to end the year differently.
“We were connected to a much bigger suburban church when we started. They have a much larger Christmas carols event, a huge production. But it comes at a cost to those who put it on,” he said.
“We found, particularly post-COVID, that exhaustion levels seem higher. Our demographic is families with young kids and teenagers, and parents are hitting this time of the year with less energy than they have in the past.
“The demands of parenting and extracurricular activities, and the 11-week school term and the heat, mean our families need to do less, not more.”
So Campbell cancelled the big carols night, as well as the Christmas Day church service.
“We’ve done a Christmas Eve service that’s been a lot more relaxed and much more stripped back,” he said.
“I think it’s freed people up to put energy into spending time together ... without falling over the finish line.”
Nathan, Robyn, and their three children Sophia, 13, Xavier, 11, and Elise, 9, bought presents at op shops this year.
They will spend Christmas Day with friends who don’t have family in Brisbane, or who are estranged from their family.
“First thing in the morning it’s my birthday and I open my presents,” Nathan said.
“At night, we’ll go hang out with a bunch of friends around a swimming pool and eat leftovers.”
About the same time, Lucy and her family will be taking the dogs for a run to the dam in Cameron Corner.
“And probably have ourselves a Christmas beverage,” she said.
“We were originally going to leave on December 30, but our hosts invited us to stay and celebrate New Year’s Eve in all three time zones at the border.”
Start the day with a summary of the day’s most important and interesting stories, analysis and insights. Sign up for our Morning Edition newsletter.