Chris Keane “would add a note of caution to Allan Mackay’s tomato diplomacy (C8). If my experience is anything to go by, his black Russian tomatoes will attempt to kill him twice a day, on average.” For those who think Chris is overdoing it, be advised that this particular missive was composed in an air raid shelter in a city in central Ukraine. “A fine time to catch up on my reading of the Herald.”
“Allan’s tomatoes should get along just fine,” assures George Manojlovic of Mangerton. “Simply make sure you keep them away from the rocket and tank water.”
“Has anyone considered the effect moving to a cashless society will have on the young?” asks Tony Hughes of Varsity Lakes (Qld). “When an infant loses a tooth, the trauma is compensated with the promise of a visit from the Tooth Fairy and some money left under the pillow. Somehow a note left under the pillow saying ‘$5 has been directly deposited into your online bank account, signed Tooth Fairy’, just isn’t quite the same.”
With the dodgy car discussion winding down, Stephen Knox of Chatswood would like to clarify a few points: “A car’s front glass is a windscreen, not a windshield. The part that encloses the wheels is a mudguard, not a fender, mirrors are rear vision, not rear view, while we have boots, not trunks, number plates, not licence plates and, as already mentioned, bonnets, not hoods. And while we’re at it, we call it the Datsun 240 ‘Zed’, not 240 ‘Zee’. There, I feel better now.”
Not to be outdone, Michael Fletcher of Ulsan (South Korea), thinks “it should be noted that until recently, cars were fitted with ‘engines’ not motors. There is a difference.”
“On Sunday, October 27, the Herald online showed a photo of the prime minister with Alan Joyce, both wearing bow ties,” reports Christine Tracey of Worrowing Heights. “Albanese’s bow tie is just thrown on, very messy, sir. He certainly needs to get married soon so that his wife can ensure that he is properly dressed before leaving the house. Joyce’s tie was crooked too. What is the world coming to?”
In the same vein as The Falls Estate (C8), George Wardell of Stanmore often holidays at Fingal Bay, Port Stephens. “A little while ago someone removed the letter ‘G’ from the notice board at the entrance to Fingal Haven Village, a retirement home.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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