“I am so tired of lazy, uninspired journalists using the suffix ‘gate’,” writes Kenneth Smith of Orange. “Do they honestly think that Nixon’s problems were caused by water? I guess in the future we’ll have more scandals, eg: a toothpaste baron named Colin: Colgate, Nepotism: Rellygate, Rubbish: Littergate, Racism: Segregate, A magician: Conjurgate, Farming equipment: Agrigate.”
We thank Don White of Frenchs Forest for this additional information on the sledge directed at the Reverend David Sheppard at the SCG (C8) in 1963, but we’ll have to call him out on the assertion that the source of the sledge was the heckler’s heckler known as Yabba as he’d been dead for over 20 years, but whoever delivered the follow-up would have made him proud. Following a series of air swings when facing Alan Davidson, the Reverend’s next period on strike garnered a series of defensive blocks. The resultant sledge of “Come on Rev, hit it into the green pastures” didn’t miss.
“I recall hearing of an English county wicketkeeper who acquired the nickname ‘Rime’, as in Coleridge’s tale of the ancient mariner who ‘stoppeth one of three’,” says Don Bain of Port Macquarie.
Kate Kelly of Varsity Lakes (Qld) welcomes the Tooth Fairy (C8) to the cashless society: “Lyn Langtry asked, ‘Whatever happened to the Tooth Fairy pillow?‘. The answer is that it is ‘up in the cloud’.”
“I was disappointed, nay, stunned, that my entry to the Herald Jacaranda Poetry Competition received absolutely no critical acclaim, and would humbly request a second opinion from C8,” says David Rodrick of Drummoyne. The Jacaranda
Oh wondrous tree of purple hue,
You cause my heart to flutter,
And with thy blooms of heavenly scent,
You block my bloody gutter. I understand that Tolkien and Oscar Wilde both had trouble launching their literary careers, too.”
Things got prophetic on the punt last weekend for George Zivkovic of Northmead: “Both Trumpsta and Trumpty Dumpty were scratched on Saturday, but the best omen bet, State Of America, won at Rosehill, beating Green Belt, as opposed to Rust Belt.” George also notes that “A horse called American President won later in the day, paying $81 on fixed odds”.
“It is ironic that the US elections are being held on November 5,” thinks Liz Field of Springwood. “Let’s hope that there’s no ‘gunpowder, treason or plot’, though I suspect it is a vain hope regarding the third item.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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