In Paddington, first-world problems begin with a bicycle

In Sydney, few topics incite furious debate quite like cycleways. The chasm between riders and reactionaries is as big as the north-south divide of the Harbour Bridge or the goats cheese curtain between the inner and outer city. And now, the war of the rollers will play out in the federal court with a case that argues the new cycleway on Oxford Street is an abuse of the human rights of the proud people of Paddington.

I hate cycling due to a traumatic event in my otherwise uneventful childhood. Aged 10, my Malvern Star bike was my pride and joy – pink, with a white basket, silver handlebar tassels, and orange spokey-dokeys that would spin as I pedalled around my suburb. One day, while giving my neighbour a “backie”, I misjudged the driveway and smashed into the brick fence. My friend fell off and broke her arm. I can still hear her screams whenever I go near a bike – even the stationary ones at the gym give me the shudders.

Kathryn Greiner and Michael Waterhouse allege the Oxford Street cycleway discriminates against the elderly and the disabled because it will use seven “floating” bus stops. Pedestrians will need to cross the bike lane to catch a bus.Credit: Steven Siewert

But today, I’m on the side of the cyclists. Because a human rights case against a cycleway screams entitlement as loud as my poor ex-friend’s cries of agony.

Litigants Michael Waterhouse and Kathryn Greiner argue those who are frail and hard of hearing won’t hear the bells of the bikes or be able to get out of the way as they cross the cycleway to the bus stop platforms. I’m deaf in one ear and on crutches so these rock ′n’ roll disabilities give me some understanding of frailty. But I’d rather cross in front of a bike than a car.

And while the average age of a Paddington resident is nearly as high as their hourly income, there are other human rights at stake.

There’s the human right of kids to ride a bike to school like we did in our childhood. Paddington is an ageing suburb because there’s no human right for a child to grow up in inner Sydney in affordable housing. What about the human right of people being able to exercise without being sideswiped by a car? Oxford Street has the most accidents involving cyclists in the city area. What about the human right of MAMILs (middle-aged men in Lycra) to show off their bulging thighs? What about the human rights of those who look cute on their retro bike and don’t care if they have helmet hair? (I’d also like to see the human rights of co-workers respected by cyclists having access to a shower and a blow-dry when they get to work.)

What about the human rights of those who like to walk on the pavement and not have a bike sharing the space with them? What about the human right of pedestrians not to be hit by cars; fewer cars mean safer roads. And what about the right to walk without sucking in the rotten egg gas smell of petrol? What about human rights of all of us who want a reduction in carbon emissions?

Most Sydney people are somewhat entitled. I feel entitled to a decent coffee every morning, and my day is just absolutely ruined if it’s not up to scratch. I feel entitled to put my washing on the line in a city that seems to have more rain than Seattle. But I accept the city has changed. I once loved driving around Sydney and being able to park near the Paddington markets or RSL, but those days are gone. The city has doubled in size since I had my Malvern Star, and others have a human right to live here. That means more walking, cycling and public transport and fewer cars.

My family will laugh at this column because I drive a lot and get cranky at cyclists slowing me down and making me watch their vigorous butts. But I check my privilege and my attitude. For the fury against them is irrational. On the radio, all I once had to do to get the phones ringing was mention bikes on Moore Park Road, or the long-awaited ramp to get on the Harbour Bridge and off they’d go. Throw in a mention of kids on “fat bikes” on the northern beaches, or share bikes being dumped and cue caller-meltdown. Now with the announcement that we’re getting e-scooters, it’ll be on for young and old.

If Sydney’s harbour divide is physical and its suburban divide is economic, the bike divide is generational. Older haters like me need to accept that bike use across the city has doubled over the past year.

The entitlement of the Federal Court case has made me switch sides and suspend my bike phobia. While I won’t ever like the sweaty groups in wraparound sunnies who take over my local cafe on a Saturday morning, I now have sympathy for their cause. And who knows, if Sydney becomes more of a cycle city, I may get back in the saddle myself!

Sarah Macdonald is an author, journalist and broadcaster.