“Recently, I sat at the lights behind a cement mixer bearing a sign that read ‘Caution: Do Not Drink’,” reports Peter Hutley of Artarmon. “Got me to wondering how many desperately thirsty souls have been saved from slurping wet cement by that timely warning.”
Graham Russell’s search for MAGA merch (C8) has some C8-ers seeing red. One of them is Scott Webb from Bella Vista: “If Graham wants a red cap, I suggest he donate blood. One of the rewards you can choose every few donations is a lovely red cap with a much nicer motto than MAGA: Blood Donor For Life. Wearing mine while out walking the other day I spotted someone else walking the other way wearing theirs. Nice moment.”
“If you’re really into Trump paraphernalia, there’s a tremendous amount of incredibly beautiful stuff on offer at the ‘Trump Store’,” writes Mary Carde of Parrearra (Qld). “Believe me, you can pick up many, many classy things such as candles, Christmas decorations, jelly beans [Why didn’t Reagan think of this? - Granny], clothing, beach towels and BBQ aprons. A one-stop shop where you can buy up bigly like never before.”
Edward Loong’s (C8) crusade for a more adolescent Column 8 didn’t age well either: “Be careful what you wish for when calling all teen spirits,” warns Jenny Stephenson of Wollongong. “Column 8 could go the way of Facebook and become a ghost town.” Alynn Pratt of Grenfell adds that “it takes great maturity to make ‘trite’ almost acceptable.”
“Welcome to our reigning monarch, his first Australian visit as sovereign,” declares Mike Fogarty of Weston (ACT). “Republicans will be unmoved in their ululations for an Australian head of state. One urban myth prevails. A male diplomat once curtsied to Queen Elizabeth II during a royal visit. I believe it, even if it isn’t true.”
“I hope the PM knows better than to trust real estate hype,” says Anthony Miller of Hornsby. “Because if he believes the promise that he will enjoy ‘spectacular sunsets’ when looking out to sea at Copacabana, he’ll be disappointed.”
“I bought my first brand-new car (C8) way back in 1971,” recalls George Manojlovic of Mangerton. “I made sure I kept it in tune because it was a Capella.”
Remaining on the road, John Constable of Balmain says, “The Lada (C8) reminds me of Russia’s early microchips, which were reported to be the ‘biggest in the world’.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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