Not a purity ring in sight: The new movement driving Gen Z to swear off sex

SPOTLIGHT / No sex please, we’re skittish

The chastity belts and purity rings flaunted by teens of the noughties may have come off long ago, but celibacy is getting a very Gen-Z rebrand with millions of TikTok videos embracing #boysober or #girlsober tags. The celibacy vows of the 2000s were tied to traditional, often gendered ideas of respectability; today’s chaste disciples are swearing off sex for different reasons.

Lisa Portolan, a Western Sydney University researcher of digital intimacy, says the main drivers of this movement are women who’ve become fed up with the current dating landscape. Dating apps promised to revolutionise the way they met romantic partners; now, these platforms are a hellscape of fake profiles, paid features, toxic behaviour and unsuitable matches.

Portolan links #boysober to the radically feminist 4B movement in South Korea, where young women are breaking free from patriarchal constraints and the requirement to date, marry and have children – and to the Gen-Z impulse to “decentre” romantic relationships.

App developers are aware of this changing tide. In May, Bumble released a campaign with the tagline, “Celibacy is not the answer” but was met with a swift backlash and took the ad down.

Portolan’s research has highlighted “this prevalent narrative, for men and women, that relationships are incredibly important, which leaves single people feeling that they’re not enough. And being on dating apps can feel like a second job.”

Instead, this movement, which she describes as sex-positive, “creates a space where women can reclaim their bodies, their stories and their lives outside a romantic relationship”. Lauren Ironmonger

READ / Food for thought

Baek Sehee’s sequel to her bestselling memoir again features intimate self-reflection – and her therapy transcripts.

Can’t afford therapy? Well, you can feel as though you’re on the couch by reading I Want To Die But I Still Want To Eat Tteokbokki, by Baek Sehee (Bloomsbury, $30), the sequel to the international bestselling South Korean memoir, I Want To Die But I Want To Eat Tteokbokki. As with its predecessor, the book largely consists of transcripts between Baek and her psychiatrist punctured by her musings on body image, depression, anxiety and relationships. Baek is self-reflective enough to know this book, more self-help than life story, might be viewed as indulgent and unnecessary; it won’t work for everyone, but her hope is to bring comfort and community with this intimate and forthright examination of her own mental health struggles. Melanie Kembrey

LISTEN / Home truths

You’ll never look at a fridge the same way again: a historian’s podcast investigates the often-curious history of household objects.

Did you know that the first vacuum cleaners required four horses and took six people to operate? Or that the origins of toothpaste were in Ancient Greece and involved ground-up bones and oyster shells? And exactly how did a French king’s odd fascination with oranges spark the invention of double-glazed windows? Each week, The Curious History of Your Home, a podcast hosted by British historian Ruth Goodman, takes a household object – from wallpaper to fridges to forks – and investigates its curious history and extraordinary origins. Goodman has the plummy diction and inquiring mind of David Attenborough, but instead of heading out into the wild, she finds entire worlds right at home. Barry Divola

WEAR / Blazer trail

Friends With Frank’s hybrid Bernadette jacket may suit the temperamental days as winter eases into spring.

You know those moments when you reach for a blazer, but the biting wind actually calls for something a little toastier? A hybrid jacket may be just the ticket for those temperamental days ’twixt winter and spring. Made from brushed wool, the “Bernadette” jacket, by Melbourne-based Friends With Frank ($649), combines the smarts of a blazer (shoulder pads, notched lapels) with the cosiness of a coat. Available in the season’s new neutral, a luxe, creamy, buttery yellow. Melissa Singer

SHOP / Pot luck

With folding handles, these pans are designed to take up 50 per cent less space.

As an inner-city apartment-dweller who loves to cook, the challenge of storing long-handled saucepans within the tight confines of my kitchen seemed insurmountable – until now. Joseph Joseph space pans (from $170) feature an inward-folding stainless-steel handle specially crafted to fit ergonomically in your hand, and take up to 50 per cent less cupboard space. With their deep-blue, heavy-gauge aluminium body and non-stick ceramic inner coating, these nifty newcomers not only save on space but are also oven-safe to more than 230 degrees Celsius, non-toxic and free from forever chemicals and heavy metals. Frances Mocnik

PLAY / The clothes show

Lyn-Al Young’s ethereal silk designs, showing at Piinpi.

Dive into the vibrant world of Indigenous fashion at Piinpi, Australia’s first major survey of this creative movement, showing at Bunjilaka Aboriginal Cultural Centre in Melbourne Museum ($15; until November 17). From Lyn-Al Young’s ethereal silk designs that echo her ancestors’ songs and Teagan Cowlishaw’s “Deadly” streetwear to Maree Clarke and Blanche Tilden’s jewellery and the globally acclaimed textiles from Bábbarra Women’s Centre in Arnhem Land, this exhibition unites storytelling and cultural practices, spotlighting the growing influence of Indigenous fashion in Australia. Frances Mocnik

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