‘I was a mess’: How Margaret Pomeranz helped her son through the death of his twins

Margaret Pomeranz, 80, became a household name as a feisty, shaggy-haired film critic on television. Her eldest son, Josh Pomeranz, 51, heads the post-production house founded by his Dutch father, Hans, 60 years ago.

Margaret and Josh Pomeranz: “Even now, people will come up to her and shout, ‘Love you, Margaret!’,” says Josh.Credit: Wolter Peeters

Josh: I was 12 when Dad moved out, but he only moved around the corner and came for dinner nearly every night. We stayed a functional and loving family unit. Mum’s always been good in an emergency. Dad had had heart troubles from a young age and, in 1993, I was visiting him in St Vincent’s [Hospital in Sydney] when all the alarms went off and the doctors and nurses ran in and did the whole “Three, two, one – clear!” thing. I must’ve been in shock because I walked out and drove home. I called Mum; she was at the Cannes Film Festival. I said, “I think Dad just died.” She said, “Get back to the hospital!” Dad had a heart transplant and lived another 13 years.

When he passed, Mum lost a soulmate. They’d met because she was studying in Vienna and a woman she knew there said, “I’ve got a nephew in Australia. Could you take him a cake?” She lugged back a sachertorte. Dad, the nephew, came to pick up the cake and asked her out.

‘I tell Mum she needs to stay relevant … she’d probably rather be playing poker with the local fishermen.’

Josh Pomeranz

She’s had different partners over the years, but her biggest relationship was with her work. Certain men can’t deal with that focus in a woman, or with the fame. Even now, people will come up to her and shout, “Love you, Margaret!”

We chat nearly every day; I tell her she needs to stay relevant. Doing things like appearing on The Weekly with Charlie Pickering and being on various boards keeps the fire going, though she’d probably rather be playing poker with the local fishermen where she lives on [the NSW] Central Coast. She’ll ring and say, “I won $35 last night!” She’s very competitive.

Josh Pomeranz with his twins, Andie and Hunter.

It took me and my wife, Pippy, eight years to have kids and Mum was there all the way. Pippy had 13 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. Eventually, in 2016, we started down the surrogate route in LA. At the beginning of 2018, I was in Sydney when I woke up to a string of messages from Pippy. She said [the surrogate] was going into labour at 23 weeks.

I was a mess, but Mum mobilised me and got me on a plane. The twins [Parker and Ellie] were born alive but died in Pippy’s arms within the hour. Mum was amazing. She said she’d support us whatever we decided. We only had three embryos left, but we found another surrogate. We now have five-year-old twins, Hunter and Andie.

Mum can be very stubborn. Recently, she booked a grooming session for her dog for the same day the kids had a school concert. It took a couple of days of phone calls to get her to cancel it. She didn’t want to upset the groomer.

When my younger brother, Felix, and I were teenagers, she’d always put her work aside to help us with our homework, but then we’d wake up and she’d be hunched over her computer at 2am, punching out movie reviews. She’s got a work ethic second to none. One of my favourite photos is of her getting her degree while holding me as a baby in her arms.

What you fear most with your parents is not having them any more. You’ve got to make the most of it all; hence the concert versus dog-grooming debacle. I’ve had two great mentors in my life, both of them my parents.

Margaret Pomeranz with her grandchildren, Hunter and Andie.

Margaret: Josh is a very good son. He checks on me every day. He wants to be like his father – or the good things about his father – and Hans used to ring me every day. We split up when Josh was almost 13. He’d come for dinner every night, until he got shitty with us and would stomp off into the night. It was mostly amicable and we stayed friends.

I was in my 20s when I had Josh. My two sons have had children late and I think how much more patient they are as parents. Those years when Josh and Pip were trying to have children were heartbreaking. Eight years of having their hopes up and then dashed! The twins must be the most expensive children in the world [the couple spent more than $350,000 all up].

‘Josh does a great line in disapproval. He can be difficult at times – and he calls me stubborn!’

Margaret Pomeranz

Hans dying from heart failure over many months was an ordeal for Josh, but in terms of emotional intensity, I’m sure it was the deaths of Parker and Ellie that really rocked him. Because the babies had been born alive, he and Pip had to organise death certificates and take the babies to the crematorium themselves. Devastating.

When The Weekly rang me and asked if I’d do a couple of stints presenting reviews, I rang Josh and said, “I’m too old for television, rah, rah rah.” He said, “No, do it.” And it’s been amazing.

It’s true I booked Roc [her Tamaruke] in for grooming, forgetting about the kids’ concert. He made me cancel. Josh does a great line in disapproval. He can be difficult at times – and he calls me stubborn! I had a place on the coast I wanted to sell. He doesn’t like to let go of anything – very like his father – and he did not want me to sell that house. In the end, I had to say, “Listen, honey; it’s my life.”

Hans was still running [Spectrum, the post-production house he founded in 1964] when Josh joined. It wasn’t easy at first. Josh was much shyer then and lacked confidence. Over time, I’ve seen this amazing growth and he’s very entrepreneurial with the business. Everywhere I go in the film world, everyone has such lovely things to say about him.

At times, both boys have been excruciatingly embarrassed about me being on TV. I was only going to produce The Movie Show when it began on SBS in 1986, but then they couldn’t find a partner for David [Stratton]. I went home and we had a round-table discussion and the kids said, “Yeah, yeah, do it.” But no one realises all the implications of a decision. I ended up working really long hours, on air and producing.

I’ve been very critical and nit-picking in the past at home. It was Pip who pointed out I was too critical of Josh sometimes. It was often petty little things: “Don’t put that there; put it here.” I stopped doing it two years ago and it was amazing. Our relationship is very sweet now. He’s an adult I really like, even if he’s still a terrible loser. In tennis, he literally throws his racquet down. Still, I’m not exactly a gracious loser, either.

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