Wayne Carey was mayor of Grub Island, but this time I agree with him

Since forever, I’ve had a mythical place in my head where I send people who seem appalling. It’s called Grub Island, and since forever, the mayor of Grub Island has been Wayne Carey.

I find him and his behaviour repulsive. Indefensible. I’ve recoiled at his history of violence, his smug arrogance. The way he skated through a high-profile, lucrative media career in spite of being accused of glassing his girlfriend and pleading guilty to assaulting a woman in the street.

Wayne Carey has slammed the people who filmed him exiting a bathroom in Melbourne.Credit: AAP

For a while, I hated that the same masthead which pays me to write here also had Carey on its books. The man was handed a microphone and column inches and a redemption arc, all of which was one big fat middle finger to women everywhere.

So yeah, I’ve never defended Wayne Carey. Which is why it surprises no one more than me that I agree with him on something.

The video. You’ve seen it. Or if you haven’t, you’ve seen the headlines behind the footage, which shows a woman leaving the bathroom of an Armadale wine bar. Moments later, Carey is seen leaving the same area.

The women filming – believed to have then posted the video online – are heard commenting: “She looks embarrassed.” “What’s he doing in there?”

Christ, I don’t know. Having a wee? Is it any of your beeswax?

Carey has accused the women behind the video of “slut-shaming” and said “this is women picking on women”. I can’t get around that. He’s deflecting. As always (remember his white powder denials?).

In truth, he’s the one being picked out, the one being shamed, because of his own history of toilet trysts. Yep, we’ve all seen this plot starring the mighty Duck before. Back in 2002 when a bathroom hook-up with his mate’s wife destroyed friendships, marriages, careers. That form is why Carey again allegedly in a toilet with a woman is news.

But. Whether it should be is another thing. The current viral video? What exactly is the big deal? Two adults in a room together? Even having sex, although Carey denied that? Last I checked, none of these things were illegal.

But the results of the fallout are devastating, said Melbourne marketing exec Kate Aston, the woman in the video. She slammed the footage as “a deliberate act of bullying . . . my suffering over recent days has been colossal”.

Let’s not pretend this is about morality. If a female public figure was filmed leaving a bathroom with a man, we’d have a million think pieces about the invasion of her privacy, the policing of her choices, the slut-shaming. Rightly so.

Sure, I hear you reaching for the popcorn. “But it’s Wayne Carey.” Stop. If we only believe in boundaries for people we like or respect then we don’t actually believe in boundaries.

And even if you want to go down the “he’s a public figure, it’s in the public interest” path – give us a spell. Carey hasn’t been relevant in media for years. He’s not representing anyone, he’s not taking taxpayer money, he’s not in a position of trust or authority.

You know who is, though? NSW MP Mark Latham.

That king of grubs, sitting in the parliamentary chamber sending sordid WhatsApp messages while drawing a salary from taxpayers. The political cockroach now facing allegations by his former partner that he pressured her to have sex with other people and participate in depraved acts, and drove his car at her. And also secretly took photos of female colleagues.

This isn’t an ex-AFL star being filmed walking out of a bathroom. This is serious, disturbing behaviour from someone elected to serve the public.

Yes, the outrage is building. Yes! But Latham has made a career of refusing accountability. Even if he resigns or is booted, the new mayor of Grub Island will go down as the patron saint of shamelessness, a serial denier that he’s a pig. Busy man.

Carey is from the same mould. But this time, he gets a pass.

Mark it in the calendar. Wayne Carey is right. This once. His girlfriend might not be so sympathetic, but that also is their business.

Right. I’m whizzing off to have a seven-hour hot shower and pray to the god of wayward suburban matrons just for typing all of that.

Kate Halfpenny is founder of Bad Mother Media. Her new book, Boogie Wonderland, is out now. Subscribers can buy a copy from Booktopia for the discounted price of $24.26 plus postage with the code WONDERLAND10. This offer is available until August 31.

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