Jews are being torn apart. If my sister were alive, even we wouldn’t be talking

If my sister were still alive, she and I would not be talking right now. She would be unashamedly pro-Israel. I am not.

October 7 last year was an utterly horrific day in the history of Jews – and we have many horrific days from which to choose. Should I choose the day two of my grandparents were gassed? Or the day the other two were shot dead? Every Jewish family has these stories. They don’t fade in our memories. They burn.

As does October 7. That day, about 1200 innocent people, from babies to the old, from the whole to the infirm, were murdered by the terrorists of Hamas. And how did Israel respond? Forty eyes for an eye. Too much. Far too much. I am appalled at the way Israel has gone about its vengeance.

A view of the destruction as a US Air Force plane flies over the Gaza Strip.Credit: AP

And in response, the diaspora of Jews, those who fled far and wide after the Holocaust, is also being torn apart. In the next few hours, Jews will honour Yom Kippur, a day of atonement with a promise of forgiveness. Of course, it is about us as individuals – but I think today we must also consider what that might mean for Israel, still in bitter mourning for the country it once was, still in mourning for the October 7 dead and missing. And we must also consider what that means for Jews here.

In the present, families are facing furious differences. I am fortunate in that my relatives and I are close enough to withstand difference. But I have lost friends I thought were close. I seem to have lost a working relationship I valued because of what is happening in Gaza. But it is strange to me that I’ve somehow lost my licence to be Jewish because I don’t support the murderous policies of Benjamin Netanyahu. What’s to support? In his desperate attempts to protect himself, he failed to protect the country he purports to love. And he failed to protect Jews in Israel.

But friends? That was quite the surprise. When I wrote about my decision not to support Zionism last year, one friend wrote: “We Jews and Zionists need compassion and support right now, not more criticism … I feel like you made the walls close in just that little bit more.” We haven’t spoken since. And that was not the only damning message I received, and not the only silence.

I’m shocked by the loss of friendships. Do I expect people to suddenly lose their desire to be Zionists, or to support Israel? Of course not. But I do expect people to understand that what Israel is doing in Gaza – and now Lebanon – is wrong. Sure, assassinate the leaders. But tiny children? Pregnant women? Teenagers? Are these people legitimate collateral damage? Israel is murdering innocence, as well as the innocents.

This is Israel’s revenge on Hamas and Hezbollah, but as a country that claims to represent Jews the world over, it implicates Jews in mass murder.

I wrote last year that I thought there was no future for a two-state solution. The response was adamant that I was wrong. But this time I asked Ian Parmeter, a man who’s been a diplomat, analyst and academic for decades, with time spent in Israel, Lebanon and beyond. He agreed a two-state solution is effectively dead, given there are now about 500,000 Israeli settlers in the West Bank. He also confirmed a democratic one-state solution is being considered by Israelis and Palestinians who want peace.

But it would be hard. Israel would have to accept Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza as having equal rights with Israelis. Zionists would have to recognise that it would be impossible to keep Israel as a Jewish state. And right now, nothing that makes sense seems possible.

Hamas’ appalling attack on October 7 and Israel’s extraordinarily ferocious response have created enormous hatred on both sides. Nothing truer. Nothing. Enormous hatred. But let’s not pretend there was anything less than hatred beforehand.

So let me ask this: could Israel possibly cease to exist? Parts of my family fled there to what they thought was safety. My parents considered it a haven if things turned bad here. I’ve lost the hope that a haven is possible.

Israel has survived many challenges since 1948, says Parmeter, and he has no doubt Israel will continue, particularly given US military support. “But Israelis will need to be on their guard for eternity for as long as they are there,” he says.

We, Jews of the post-Nazi era, are less safe now than we have ever been and that’s been made even worse by fools on social media who develop instant expertise. Netanyahu has made it tougher for Jews in the diaspora. Parmeter is not Jewish but says there is no question the appalling pictures of Gaza we see on television each night make it harder for Jews, even those not in Israel.

Ultra-Orthodox Jewish men, who oppose Zionism and the Israeli state, burn Israeli flags during a protest in Jerusalem on May 14, 2024. Credit: AP

Yet Netanyahu will continue with his campaign both to boost his security credentials and to re-establish himself with the Israeli electorate, after all the strategic failures of October 7.

Maybe that’s working in Israel, but it’s not working here. It fuels antisemitism because people still can’t separate Jews from the actions of Israel, done in the name of Zionism. And the number of self-appointed experts with no kin in the game – or even basic knowledge about the region – is exhausting and dispiriting. And let’s not forget ignorant social media influencers, though I would like to.

When I last wrote about this – and I don’t do it again lightly because the resulting correspondence is often unhinged, and life is short, too short – I had messages and emails across all platforms. A few were downright deranged. But some, from Jewish friends, had so little understanding of why we all need to take a long hard look at the country that Israel has become. It is becoming harder and harder to support. There are more of us asking these questions now despite the horror and trauma of October 7 – and because of the horror and trauma of October 7.

The war spreads everywhere. Of course there are no guns here. I hope there will never be guns. But there is plenty of hatred to go around. And it does.

Jenna Price is a visiting fellow at the Australian National University and a regular columnist for The Sydney Morning Herald.