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Swans’ Sweet Caroline lament, the exclusive party and Katy Perry

By Stephen Brook

It was a history-making grand final of the people’s game at the people’s stadium. So what did Melbourne’s elite do after the final siren? They decamped as quickly as possible from the MCG to the private surrounds of the September Club in Yarra Park.

As if clearing out the entire Nobu restaurant at Crown just for the Brownlow after-party wasn’t a big enough flex for the sporting-corporate-political squad known as the AFL, then consider that the September Club’s 10 corporate marquees (plus a dance floor) were constructed not for two weeks of grand slam tennis, nor a week of spring racing, or a long weekend of Formula 1, but for a single grand final day.

The September Club outside the MCG. Few are chosen.

The September Club outside the MCG. Few are chosen. Credit: Stephen Brook

Uncertain what to expect apart from glum Swans fans, CBD texted our defamation lawyer to confirm his attendance as back-up. “Are you kidding? They can’t run that thing without me,” came the reply.

Encouraged, we passed the checkpoints to view the post-match menu of New York deli pastrami or crumbed chicken sandwiches and the encampment of marquees built by corporate and media heavyweights SEN, 3AW, Triple M, NAB, Toyota, Sportsnet and Asahi.

Our personal favourite though was the Toyota Southern Region marquee. Because if there is one thing the grand final teaches us, it is that geographic separatism is the dominant organisational force in Australia.

Dominating the September Club skyline was the AFL clubhouse, which looked like a black-framed medium-density new build in Kew already the subject of a VCAT planning dispute.

Something to celebrate: The Lions pose for a team photo after their premiership win.

Something to celebrate: The Lions pose for a team photo after their premiership win.Credit: Getty Images

Inside, Andrew Dillon was showing the corporate dexterity necessary for an AFL chief executive – holding a champagne in one hand and clutching a beer in the other as his chair, Richard Goyder, wandered around with a grin on his face.

Top cop Shane Patton was there to maintain law and order, while CBD also spotted footy legends Dermott Brereton, natty in a waistcoat, and Nathan Buckley and partner Brodie Ryan; and club presidents David Koch (Port Adelaide), Luke Sayers (Carlton) and Sonja Hood (North Melbourne).

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Hood produced the zinger of the day at the North Melbourne grand final breakfast when she said of guests Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Opposition Leader Peter Dutton: “I didn’t think we had much in common but … actually all three of us are trying desperately hard to turn around an underperforming organisation.”

Back at the September Club, some Swans fans showed intestinal fortitude by maintaining their club colours in the aftermath of bitter defeat, including lobbyist Ryan Liddell, Gandel Group chief executive Dion Werbeloff, chief executive of the Melbourne Fashion Festival Caroline “Ralph” Ralphsmith and Seven West Media boss Jeff Howard.

Later, DJs cranked up the decks at the Super Disco Club to perform an outstanding set, even if some of the dancing was a bit Sydney during the second quarter. CBD spotted AFL media mover and shaker Jay Allen, well, moving and shaking, not too far from former Victoria Racing Club chief executive Steve Rosich, strongly tipped to return to an AFL club, but with no contract inked just yet.

ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED

Following the final siren, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton clapped and sang (sort of) to the Brisbane Lions’ song in their moment of victory, but three minutes later it was straight back to work on his phone, as this CBD pic shows.

 Peter Dutton, three minutes after the final siren, was back on his phone. 

 Peter Dutton, three minutes after the final siren, was back on his phone. Credit: Stephen Brook

Dutton was a guest at the AFL Commission lunch hosted by Goyder and Dillon in the Olympic Room at the MCG. Penny Fowler, chair of News Corp’s Herald & Weekly Times division, an AFL partner as well as Rupert Murdoch’s niece, was granted top table status along with the prime minister and various other sponsors and club presidents. Richard Marles (only the deputy prime minister), Dutton and federal Sports Minister Anika Wells slummed it on various satellite tables.

Jacinta Allan (who styles herself as “Mum. Bendigo MP. Premier of Victoria” on Instagram) was also at the top table albeit squeezed in at one end.

Jodie Haydon and Anthony Albanese take pride of place next to Andrew Dillon at the AFL Commission lunch in the Olympic Room at the MCG on Saturday.

Jodie Haydon and Anthony Albanese take pride of place next to Andrew Dillon at the AFL Commission lunch in the Olympic Room at the MCG on Saturday.Credit: AFL Photos/Wayne Taylor

She slipped upstairs at one point to be granted an audience with superstar grand final performer Katy Perry. Despite much reporting of Perry’s $5 million fee, the payment to the Roar singer was closer to $3 million, according to informed sources.

Nine chair Catherine West, clad in an official Swans scarf courtesy of her brother, sought out an old friend, former AFL commissioner and now Governor-General Sam Mostyn, for a souvenir selfie.

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South Australian Premier Peter Malinauskas was dragged away during a conversation by his head of Premier and Cabinet, Damien Walker, to close a deal the state had been working on for months. As Victorian state opposition sports spokesman Sam Groth later remarked to the SA political smoothie: “What are you going to try and steal from us next?”

The SA premier later joined his brother Robert Malinauskas, who works for hotel and poker machine operator Endeavour Group as policy, public affairs and industry relations general manager, in the September Club. Folks, it’s a dynasty.

JOURNEY’S END

The Swans, who made South Yarra’s the Como Melbourne their headquarters, had booked Bar Bambi in AC/DC Lane for their post-match after-party, which ended up being a wake.

Nightclub impresario and one-time candidate for lord mayor of Melbourne Nick Russian was on hand to console Swans star Isaac Heeney and Heeney’s cousin, former star of The Bachelorette Dave Billsborrow. Invited guests crowded the dance floor and turned the anthem Sweet Caroline into a lament by adding a string of f-bombs to the famous chorus.

Swans star Issac Heeney (left) with Bar Bambi owner Nick Russian and Heeney’s cousin, <i>The Bachelorette</i> star Dave Billsborrow.

Swans star Issac Heeney (left) with Bar Bambi owner Nick Russian and Heeney’s cousin, The Bachelorette star Dave Billsborrow.Credit: Instagram

It was “surprisingly a great night” said one attendee. “Obviously they were all disappointed but still in good spirits.”

The full team turned up as did the coaches and other local identities including MMA champion Alex Volkanovski.

They partied late into the night.

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Original URL: https://www.theage.com.au/link/follow-20170101-p5keb7