‘I always looked to Dad with stars in my eyes’: Elly-May Barnes on her famous father

Elly-May Barnes is a musician, best known for singing backup for her dad, Jimmy Barnes. Here, the 35-year-old talks about wanting to be just like her famous father, meeting her celebrity childhood crush and having a song written for her by Neil Finn.

“I am a single mum. My dad takes the time to show up for his grandson, which is amazing.”Credit: Robert Hambling

My maternal [step] grandfather John Mahoney was a career diplomat and an incredible man. He married my grandmother after she divorced, and brought her and my mum [Jane] to Australia at a time when you didn’t see many Asian families come to this country. It was a big move on his part, and he embraced a big family wholeheartedly.

My dad [Jimmy Barnes] and I have a special unspoken connection – we have a similar sense of humour and I love a dad joke! We have both been through a bit of trauma in our lives, but he doesn’t let it define him. He is kind, funny and my favourite person in the world.

When I was little, I wrote books of poetry and always looked to Dad with stars in my eyes as I really wanted to be like him. I nearly died when I was born, and at age three, was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I am the youngest of four children and everyone says I got away with so much more than my siblings. My parents never made me feel any different.

My first crush was singer Daniel Johns from Silverchair when I was five. I loved the album Frogstomp and got to meet him as a child through my dad. He was very nice to me.

My first boyfriend was a family friend. We dated for a few years when I was 13. I had known him my whole life, so it didn’t feel unusual at all to be around guys. I have always been monogamous. When I’m in love I am totally in that zone and don’t notice anybody else. Maybe I have listened to too many love songs in my life.

I dated Elroy Finn, the son of Neil and Sharon Finn for a few years. His parents are like my second parents. I left my private girl’s school in Sydney to do my final years in England. Elroy went over as well. He was my first real love.

Neil Finn wrote a song for me on my new album called She’s A Thought. He was in the middle of writing a new album and not something he would usually do randomly. But he sent me three songs, and I chose the one that resonated with me most. He did that out of love and kindness, and I am so grateful.

Elroy and I are still mates. He is one of the best friends. We broke up as friends and I always want everything great for him. He is the funniest and most talented human I know.

I have worked with many male musicians on my new album. Davey Lane [You Am I] is one of the sweetest men in rock ‘n’ roll. He is a genius – underrated and humble. He can write and play anything. We met when I was barely a teenager. One night he came around to our house and played The Beatles Golden Slumbers on the piano.

I am also very close with Jackson Freud [son of The Models late frontman James Freud]. We have known each other since we were babies and written songs together. I’m also close with his brother Harrison. We were very naughty in our late teens, when Jackson’s band was opening for my dad on tour. We made some great memories back then.

I have been blessed to be around so many incredible men in my life, including [musician] Mark Lizotte, my uncle who is married to mum’s sister, Jep. I have grown up with their musical influences and friendship thanks to my parents.

I once went on a date with American singer Frankie Valli to see The Jersey Boys. Dad had met him and we both share a birthday. We are also roughly the same height. He was so sweet and there’s a great photo of us on the internet somewhere.

I got married to Liam Conboy in 2015 and we have Dylan together who is now nine. We are no longer together. I would never say never to marriage again. If there was somebody I couldn’t live without, I am never closing that door.

I am a single mum. My dad takes the time to show up for his grandson, which is amazing. I am so protective of Dylan and I don’t know how much space I would want to make for someone else right now. I want to savour every moment with Dylan while he is little.

Elly-May Barnes’ album No Good is out now. She also hosts, Headliners, on ABC TV.