The incomprehensible nature of Kerr’s alleged transgression

Bloody hell.

In the sports commentary game, there are minefields and there are minefields, but this one looks like Tobruk, August 1941, western sector, road to Benghazi. One step in any direction, however careful, however well-intentioned, and you risk – best case – losing a leg.

But, friends?

We are going in.

Let’s say that on Monday, you could have gathered the most famous 100 sports people currently performing in and for Australia in the one room. Now, using your logic and knowledge of agreed facts, lets rearrange them for our own purposes. Let’s give a prize to the one who is the least likely to make ugly headlines for being accused of uttering racist epithets at a policeman as a result of an alleged dispute with a taxi driver.

Are you with me, tree-people?

The charge against Matildas captain Sam Kerr has left many Australians dumbstruck.Credit: Getty Images

OK. Right away, we can start with the obvious.

All you women, move up front, and all you men to the back, well away from even a podium finish.

Why?

Because of the bleeding obvious.

Sam Kerr scores against England in the 2023 Women’s World Cup.Credit: Nine

In the history of Australian sport, it’s nearly always men – either boofy or boofhead, and sometimes both – that make such headlines, and it’s mostly hard-tackle footballers in the heat of battle, or cricketers engaging in vicious sledging. So stop muttering, and move up the back you bastards.

Now, to you remaining women.

Given the aforementioned troubled history of hard-tackle footballers and cricketers in this regard, I’m sorry, but you women playing those sports can also move back.

That leaves us with the women Olympians, the genteel netballers, the quicksilver soccer players and sundry others to pick from.

By my count, we’ve got just 10 of you still hovering before the podium, waiting for the prize. Sorry, white women, this one’s not for you. We can safely assume the least likely to utter racist epithets will be those who have suffered racism themselves, or at least are from communities that have so suffered – so farewell to all you white swimmers for starters, and most of you netballers and basketballers.

And speaking of communities, of you who remain, straight women can also move back. Why? Because those who have also suffered homophobic taunts understand the horror of bullying bastardry better than most, and are less likely to engage in it themselves.

So that’s just four of you who are now remaining, and there’s another two clues from here on how to work out who gets the final prize. The least likely ones to engage in racist epithets will be those from the most diverse of sports, yes? Well, there is no more diverse sport in the country than soccer, so we need gay, non-white women soccer players right up the front.

Which of them is least likely to have a blue with a taxi driver? It happens across all economic demographics, but most such blues are over the fare, and as richer folk are less likely to be aggrieved, we can now see our prize-winner. She must be the gay, wealthy soccer player of diverse ethnic heritage, and it is all the more sure if she is softly spoken, and with no record of transgression in any field.

Step forward, of course, Sam Kerr.

Yes, Sam. The one who recently told Forbes magazine, “I’m really proud to be Indian and love my skin colour and love my ‘Indian complexion’. I’ve listened to my nana and my dad’s stories about moving to Australia, feeling like outsiders, having to work their way into society at a time when it wasn’t very multicultural, and it’s taught me a lot. It was hard for my dad to be accepted as a dark-skinned man in Australia. Listening to what they went through has really influenced who I am and taught me to accept people for who they are.”

And yet, we all know what happened Tuesday morning. Australia woke to the simply astonishing news that the nation’s sporting hero bar none, the indeed blemish-free and softly spoken proudly gay star striker of the Matildas has been criminally charged in Britain with “racially aggravated harassment” of a police officer, which allegedly took place after Kerr had a blue over a taxi fare in Twickenham. She has pleaded not guilty.

We also now know, courtesy of the British press, what she is alleged to have called the police officer: “A stupid white bastard.” The debate will now rage as to whether this is racist. The British police certainly think so, given they are pursuing her to this extent. But from here, without knowing any other circumstances – because we continue to fly blind – if it is, we can surely agree it is on the very lowest end of the scale. And it will no doubt be explained to the Brits that in Australia, the word “bastard” - on its own - has little offensive weight. The mystery remains, why didn’t Kerr tell Football Australia – and Australia for that matter – any of this herself, and explain the circumstances?

Australia, I suspect, will still want to love her. We just need more to work with.

Hence the primary emotion after the allegations: gobsmacked astonishment, and a rueful shaking of the head that it could possibly have come to this.

Where to from here for us, for her, and for Football Australia?

The most obvious one for all three is to let the British justice process take its course.

From Kerr, it would be good to hear right now – within the parameters of her legal constraints – her account of what happened. Give us something to work with here, Sam, so we can have a clue.

But as to whether FA should or should not stand her down as captain of the Matildas – even though currently injured - Greg Baum has made the point that if Australian cricket captain Pat Cummins had been charged with the same thing, he would have been stood down already, and he is obviously right. Or he certainly was before the news broke of what the allegations actually were.

As I have said many times, being captain of a national team is not just a matter of tossing the coin and making speeches in the huddle. It is an ambassadorial role of great importance, and can only be held by those who, firstly, are seen to represent the national values; and secondly those who obviously enjoy the full confidence of their sports federation.

Right now, neither condition is fulfilled.

Kerr’s curse is that her reputation will remain under a cloud until she can either provide an explanation right now that convinces the lot of us, or the court process completely exonerates her – and even if the latter happens, that is a year away.

As to enjoying the confidence of the sweet FA, how can they cut her any slack at all? She has known of these charges for six weeks, and told them nothing, allowing them to be completely blown out of the water.

Her minimum job as captain was to shout to the engine room, “torpedo off the starboard bow, 450 metres and closing fast, batten the hatches and DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!” The fact she didn’t even do that, allowed the whole of Football Australia to be hit amidships.

She may come back from this. But right now FA must stand her down, while the rest of us – in the absence of any explanation at all from Kerr – must gaze in incomprehensible wonder, at how this happened.

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