From Love Story to Bad Blood: Why we grieve celebrity break-ups

Taylor Swift fans were bound by grief this weekend as they gathered on social media - and in real life – to digest the heart-shattering news her relationship with her boyfriend of six years had ended.

After Entertainment Tonight reported on Saturday that the country-turned-pop musician had allegedly split with Joe Alwyn (The Favourite), Swift fans – affectionately known as Swifties – invaded social media to collectively endure the five stages of grief.

Why are fans so devastated that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn broke up?Credit: Artwork by Marija Ercegovac

The deluge of devastation is part of a larger trend where fans glorify celebrity relationships, to the extent that some live vicariously through them – setting their own relationship standards based on famous couples, and suffering the celebrity’s broken heart as if it were their own.

Pablo The Don, a popular TikTok culture critic, says when two celebrities date, they often form something akin to a “superhuman” – a curated production of perfection that fans cannot help but aspire towards.

“People get so invested in the image they’re being sold,” Pablo says. “These celebrities are presenting the perfect ideal of what a person should be, when in reality, these people – like us all – are deeply flawed and incapable of living up to their own standards let alone the standards of millions of strangers.”

When those relationships break, the façade cracks and fans are left with nothing to emulate other than the celebrity’s assumed pain.

“Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn literally invented love. ur [sic] telling me this just doesn’t exist anymore??” one user, clearly in denial, wrote on Twitter.

TikTokers posted sorrowful videos of themselves crying. Another fan joked that she didn’t deserve to have a partner if Swift were alone. Others shared videos where they threw themselves to the floor in exasperated anger, or attempted to reason with higher powers by arguing that Swift’s love songs were enough leverage to reverse the break-up. At 23 Cornelia Street, a townhouse that Taylor Swift temporarily rented in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village in 2016, sobbing fans left bouquets of flowers.

Unlikely the often messy, complicated relationships between “normal people”, many loyal fans consider celebrity couplings the paragon of romantic relationships – something to live up to and learn by.

Yet, of course, celebrity relationships can be just as volatile and dysfunctional – just look at last year’s Harry Styles/Olivia Wilde/Jason Sudeikis drama.

So, why are some fans obsessed with who their favourite celebrity is dating? And why does it shake their world to the core when the Love Story becomes Bad Blood?

Dr Diana Sandars, a fan studies scholar at The University of Melbourne, says famous pairings are a lucrative device used by the entertainment industry. A “perfect” relationship inspires fans while distracting them from the celebrity’s conscious branding.

“Historically, the entertainment industry has used romance mythologies – the foundations of stardom – as a means of concealing its condition of production,” Sandars says.

Love, a universal emotion, makes celebrities seem relatable and accessible to the “every man”. Fans loyally follow a celebrity’s quest for true love as an additional form of entertainment – a means to wash away the monotony of “normal” life.

Melbourne-based Swiftie Stefanie White says the bond between Swift and her fans is particularly strong given her open and transparent lyrics. They mimic hushed conversations with close friends or entries in a diary, inviting fans into her private world in an unprecedented way.

“We kind of feel like the third wheel in her relationships,” White says. “It’s kind of like when your friend is dating someone you don’t like and can’t help but gossip about it with others. It’s juicy.

“Seeing them in relationships gives us a little window into their universe. It makes us feel like they’re just like us,” White says. “Taylor [is] a true hopeless romantic and knowing she was in a loving relationship felt like everything was right in the world.”

The Karma singer is like each fan’s best friend, White says, a “trusted sister” that you ride the highs and lows beside. Although she admits fans are secretly excited about the new lyrics this heartbreak will likely inspire, she says they feel genuine sympathy for Swift who is currently battling a universal condition: the pain of that heartbreak.

One dedicated Swiftie, who only wanted to be identified by their first name Fran, runs a Twitter account devoted to Swift. Fran says the longer someone follows a celebrity, the more invested they might become in both their professional and private lives.

Thanks to celebrity tabloids, social media posts, and blogs, fans can’t help but follow each award won, every scandal endured and each person flowing in and out of their lives – just as they would with your own peers.

“I’ve been a fan of Taylor since 2012, so she’s basically family and I care about her happiness,” Fran says. “She went through a lot [her feud with Kanye West, the Eras Tour ticket chaos, etc.] ... and Joe loved her when nobody did. That’s why I loved them together.”

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