When Bridget Hustwaite met her boyfriend, people kept asking her one specific question

There’s nothing quite like the exhilaration of a new relationship. An equally significant milestone is sharing the news with loved ones.

After a tumultuous transition into my 30s, which included heartbreak and living alone through lockdowns, I knew my friends would be thrilled that I’d found someone. I knew they would join in my giddiness as I described the details of how we met, our first date, and who instigated the first kiss (spoiler alert: me).

Bridget Hustwaite: “Some friends wondered if dating a footballer granted an automatic invite to the Brownlow (it doesn’t), while others hoped it meant free footy tickets.”Credit: Jennifer Soo

I looked forward to answering my friends’ prying questions about where he grew up and his family, but I knew fixation would quickly be placed on his line of work – a job of high publicity and glorification, but also one of heavy scrutiny. You see, for the past eight years my partner Oscar McDonald played AFL for Melbourne and Carlton. He currently plays for Williamstown in the VFL.

As someone who grew up in an AFL household, I felt the same intrigue when we first met. But as the conversation surrounding my new relationship extended beyond my inner circle to acquaintances and colleagues, I was met with one specific question.

“Oh, so you’re a WAG now?”

Often, it was accompanied by the assumption that this meant a new way of life for me. Some friends wondered if dating a footballer granted an automatic invite to the Brownlow (it doesn’t), while others hoped it meant free footy tickets.

These inquiries were often nothing more than curiosity, but there were times when the conversation became uncomfortable, when the focus shifted from finding someone who valued me for who I am, to others valuing me based on who I was now with.

It prompted me to look up women who had established profiles before their respective relationships with AFL players, such as supermodel Megan Gale and former Miss Universe Australia Jesinta Franklin. To see some news articles throw “AFL WAG” in front of their names cemented my frustration.

“The fact that these women can only be visible in the context of their relationship, or an object of interest because of the way that they reflect back on the man and his status, is very strange and honestly quite narcissistic,” says Elise Loehnen, author of the New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behaviour: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good.

Catharine Lumby, professor of media and communications at the University of Sydney and former NRL gender adviser, says we are living with the residue of an incredibly patriarchal society: “It’s completely sexist.”

To think a label like WAG can override not only my identity, but the success I’ve spent years building for myself, is troubling.

Bridget Hustwaite

By trade, I can be defined as many things. A presenter with extensive experience on live national radio and television. A bestselling author and advocate for people living with endometriosis, a chronic condition I was diagnosed with in 2018. A podcast host, producer and digital content creator. My friends would describe me as a bubbly and diligent person who thrives in her dressing gown with a cup of tea in hand. Oscar’s favourite trait of mine is my ambition. To think a label like WAG can override not only my identity, but the success I’ve spent years building for myself, is troubling.

The origins of the WAG title stem back to the early to mid-2000s, when British tabloids began using it as an acronym for the “wives and girlfriends” of English footballers. The term itself may not inherently be misogynistic, but its usage and connotations have evolved into negative and harmful stereotypes. Locally, it was the reporting of Bec Judd’s 2004 Brownlow Medal dress that promoted WAG into the Australian vocabulary and was consequently embraced by trolls who used it to objectify women.

Bridget Hustwaite: “The term itself may not inherently be misogynistic, but its usage and connotations have evolved into negative and harmful stereotypes.”Credit: Jennifer Soo

I decided to reach out to other women who date footballers to hear their thoughts on the WAG label. My childhood friend Jessica Gawn is a physiotherapist and the wife of Melbourne captain Max Gawn. In a text message exchange, Jess said that while the title is less prominent than it used to be, it says more about those who use it and why they think it is appropriate to label women.

Hester Brown, marriage celebrant and wife of Melbourne forward Ben Brown, says one of her biggest concerns with the WAG title is that it closes the door for gender diversity and sexual orientation. “It is just another unnecessary barrier for queer athletes who don’t fit that definition.”

Hannah Ferguson, chief executive of Cheek Media Co, is hopeful. She says tabloid media’s harmful stereotyping holds little weight for the next generation who are increasingly seeking out values-based journalism. “The rise of influencers has arguably provided a new offering to Gen Z, one that cuts out the middleman and sees women take control of their public perception through social media.”

Given we took the WAG title from Britain, perhaps it’s time we discard it. Gareth Southgate, manager of the England men’s soccer team, suggested this last year, saying: “It’s their partners and family, so I don’t like the term.”

As a country of footy-mad fans, we’re great at celebrating the brilliance of the athletes we support, their individuality – not just another number on the back of a guernsey. And I have a funny feeling that if we looked just a little harder, we’d find that being a “WAG” is the least interesting thing about us.

Bridget Hustwaite is a radio and TV presenter, author of How to Endo and host of the Figuring Out 30 podcast.

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