The tool Gen Z is substituting for ‘gut-wrenching vulnerability’
Their parents might have fumbled their way through awkward conversations or sought counselling for relationship blunders, but Gen Z are turning to an unlikely, more accessible source for advice – ChatGPT.
Like an ever-patient friend, therapist, or coach, it’s available 24/7, offering judgment-free advice and support. Only, it’s not real.
Why are young people using artificial intelligence to help with their relationships?Credit: Monique Westermann
Welcome to the new era of relationships, where Gen Z is turning to AI to sharpen their communication skills. Whether it’s perfecting their flirting game, seeking guidance on difficult conversations, or just figuring out if “wyd?” counts as effort, AI is becoming an unexpected relationship coach.
But while AI chatbots like ChatGPT are becoming go-to resources for young people navigating the complexities of relationships, experts warn that relying on them too much may have its drawbacks.
A digital shoulder to lean on
Social media is abuzz with stories of Gen Z users turning to AI for emotional support. On TikTok, videos under hashtags like #ChatGPT and #AI rack up millions of views, while Reddit threads discuss how AI has helped users craft breakup texts, resolve conflicts, or even practice difficult conversations.
Dan Auerbach, clinical director with Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney, believes this trend is driven by a mix of digital upbringing and post-pandemic social anxiety.
“Young people turn to AI chatbots because they’re looking for a safe place to practise tricky conversations without judgement,” he says.
“Most Gen Z kids got their first smartphone around age 12, growing up texting rather than talking face-to-face. After pandemic lockdowns, many find real-world interactions intimidating.”
The appeal of AI-generated advice
AI chatbots can provide an instant, non-judgmental and accessible way to process emotions. Unlike human friends or therapists, they are always available, won’t ghost you, and don’t require an appointment.
“These AI tools tap into our fundamental human needs for attachment and belonging hardwired into us,” says Auerbach.
“Gen Z grew up digital, and with high social anxiety, these platforms let them practise connection without rejection risk. They’re essentially scratching a biological itch for connection in a low-stakes environment.”
Supporters of AI-driven relationship practice argue that it can help users build confidence and refine communication skills. By running through conversations in a controlled setting, people may feel more prepared for real-life interactions
Andrew Gung, founder and chief executive of Core Confidence – a coaching company dedicated to helping men improve their dating skills – has recently expanded his approach by integrating AI into the process.
Originally, Core Confidence operated as an in-person dating coaching service. But as demand grew, Gung noticed many men were seeking advice on similar dating challenges.
To scale his coaching capabilities, he introduced Spark, an AI-powered dating coach hosted on Discord, which now serves more than 400 users.
“We don’t recommend our clients to copy and paste, but Spark will recommend at least five suggestions,” Gung says. “We’ve made it more of a learning tool for our students.”
Core Confidence is also developing additional AI-driven tools, including a conversation simulator that allows users to practice texting with a virtual partner. Another feature already in development enables users to rehearse real-time conversations with an AI voice assistant.
“You’ve got a dating coach in your pocket,” Gung says. “You can access our coaching theories within three to five seconds by just asking a question at any time. It’s available 24/7 to help you dramatically improve … without needing to wait for us to reply to you.”
Core Confidence founder and chief executive Andrew Gung.
Can AI replace real relationship advice?
For some Gen Z users, AI is more than just a practice tool – it’s becoming a substitute for therapy and professional relationship coaching.
Despite the success of AI in dating coaching, Gung remains firm that it will never replace human coaches. “There will still be a need for that human-to-human aspect when it comes to this type of service, but it is advancing at a rapid rate,” he says.
Auerbach shares similar concerns and says he believes AI removes the central ingredient that makes relationships real – risk.
“Without possible rejection, these scenarios become make-believe. It’s like learning to swim on dry land. The gut-wrenching vulnerability of putting yourself out there is exactly what’s missing in AI chats,” he says.
AI-generated responses may sound human-like, but Auerbach argues that people never truly forget they’re speaking with a machine.
“You’re essentially practising with a sophisticated puppet, and that knowledge changes everything,” he says.
“When there’s no real person who might reject you, the stakes evaporate. Real relationships require navigating awkward moments with someone whose feelings genuinely matter. (Are you getting butterflies or feeling real chemistry when talking to AI?)”
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