The day her father died, Alisha decided to have a baby on her own. It was a ‘lightbulb moment’

Alisha Burns decided to have a baby on her own the day her father died. It was a “lightbulb moment”, she says.

“My best friend said to me, ‘[your dad] would have made such a good granddad, and you would have made such a good mum’,” the 44-year-old mother says. “If he hadn’t passed away, I don’t know if I would have made the decision.”

Alisha Burns decided to have a baby on her own when she turned 38. Many other single women are considering the same thing.Credit: Wayne Taylor

By that point, Burns was 38, had already struggled with infertility and experienced a stillbirth, and was divorced. Instead of continuing to search for “Mr Right”, she decided it was more important to have a child – now. Two rounds of IVF and several years down the track, she has a five-year-old daughter.

“It was the best decision ever.”

Burns’ choice to raise a child solo is one that more Australians are considering. Research from Connect IVF, a Sydney-based fertility clinic, shows 40 per cent of those surveyed said they were open to solo parenting. Younger Australians are leading this shift, with 63 per cent of those aged between 25 and 34, and nearly half of those aged between 18 and 24, considering single parenthood.

Solo parenting is not new, but it appears to be growing. Data from the 2021 census shows 10 per cent of Australian families with dependent children have one parent. While this also includes those who did not necessarily choose to become solo parents, Connect IVF director Brendan Ayres believes the figure will be higher in the 2026 census, largely thanks to the uptake of IVF and an increase in voluntary solo parenthood.

The reasons for doing so are many and varied.

Open conversations

Before Burns had her daughter, she says she rarely heard solo parenthood spoken about openly.

“Someone at work had a baby that way, but it wasn’t really public. I thought, ‘Am I meant to know her baby is from a donor?’”

The way single parents talk about their families has changed significantly over the past five years, largely thanks to social media and celebrity culture. Celebrity solo-mothers-by-choice, including Mindy Kaling, Sandra Bullock and Charlize Theron, have shared their experiences online, which Burns says helps bring solo parenting into the mainstream.

The proliferation of online communities dedicated to solo parents, including Burns’ own Solo Mum Society, has also normalised conversations around single-parent households, offering support and resources to those new to the experience.

Not-so-nuclear family

Attitudes around family are shifting away from the traditional nuclear family, says Melbourne IVF fertility specialist Dr Marina Demyanenko. “As we become more accepting of different family structures, patients feel more confident pursuing a range of options.”

The notion that having just one parent is worse for a child has been quashed by research completed over the past decade, Demyanenko adds. “Many solo parents are not actually by themselves – they have a huge support system around them, whether it’s friends, family, other solo parents. We all know it takes a village to raise children.”

Female, financially secure and emotionally fit

Connect IVF research found women represent the largest group open to donor conception. Ayres says single women are increasingly recognising they have the financial, emotional and physical means to create a family on their own terms.

“Ten years ago, IVF or donor conception wouldn’t have been seen as a viable option. It was mainly used for medically infertile couples or same-sex couples,” Ayres says. “There has been a mental shift as the options have broadened.”

Christina Constantine, a 42-year-old Sydneysider, says she never felt as empowered as when she became a solo mother. Having her daughter, who is now three years old, showed her how resilient and resourceful she, and every other solo parent, is.

Becoming a solo mother by choice has made Christina Constantine feel more empowered than ever.Credit: Edwina Pickles

“I’ve realised how strong I really am,” she says. “I dated for a long time … until I realised there was a timeline on having a baby, but no timeline on dating.”

This became particularly apparent when learning about her fertility, Constantine says. Understanding early on the changing nature of women’s fertility patterns over a lifetime is key. As awareness of fertility increases, more single women are deciding to have a child before finding a partner (if they want one) to avoid future disappointment.

Co-parenting? No, thanks.

Given the rates of divorce and separation in Australia, Dr Justin Tucker, of Monash IVF, says some people may find the prospect of raising their child without having to compromise, or without the risk of eventually co-parenting, rather appealing.

Between December 2024 and January 2025, there was a 40 per cent increase in separation inquiries on The Separation Guide, an Australian divorce technology platform, compared with the same period a year earlier. Though the overall rate of divorce declined by 1.1 per cent between 2022 and 2023, 48,700 couples still split (compared with 118,439 registered marriages).

“Ending up in a situation where you’re losing half your money, working out custody and making really difficult decisions with someone you no longer see eye-to-eye with – some people wouldn’t want that risk,” Tucker says.

Things to consider

If you’re considering solo parenthood, it’s important to know your options, Tucker says.

“Fertility is like a card game. You get the cards you’re dealt, and it’s very hard to win unless you know everything you’re holding. So there’s always a thorough, methodical approach to investigating your fertility,” he says. “Look at all the options in terms of the ingredients you might need – is someone you know offering their sperm, or do you need donor sperm? Can you try IUI or IVF? Do you want to freeze your eggs?”

Usually, these conversations will be had with fertility specialists and GPs, but Demyanenko says it’s also important to share your plans with those closest to you.

“Once you put it out there that you’re making those decisions, you’ll get a pretty quick idea of who will be supportive or not.”

Ultimately, Burns suggests exploring the options as early as possible, even if you’re not completely sure yet.

“If there’s even the tiniest speck in your mind, get some initial tests with the doctor or a fertility clinic,” she says. “You’ll want to understand if you have the luxury of time to make the decision, or whether you should be taking action now. You don’t want to learn when you’re 38 that it’s too late.”

For Constantine, the most valuable advice is to take advantage of every resource available to you, from online groups and books written by other solo parents to professional counselling and financial services.

“It’s not for everyone. You have to be ready for it, and you need to think through it,” Constantine says. “Questions may come up along the way that you hadn’t considered, like whether you’re comfortable with the thought of your child reaching out to the donor when they turn 18.

“Just think: ‘would I regret this forever if I don’t at least try?’”

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.