Kasey Chambers worked with her ex: ‘We did divorce better than we did marriage’

Kasey Chambers is a country musician, best known for her hit song Not Pretty Enough. Here, the 48-year-old talks about growing up in the outback, her long-time crush on Keith Urban, and her relationships with the ex-partners.

When I told Dad I was going to call my book Just Don’t Be a D**khead, he was like, “Do I say that a lot?”

My dad, Bill, has his own band but plays guitar in my band, too. He’s not judgemental and doesn’t judge people for living different lifestyles or having different opinions. He’s also not intimidated by anyone, famous or not, and I love that about him.

When I told Dad I was going to call my book Just Don’t Be a D**khead, he was like, “Do I say that a lot?” I said, “Yeah, Dad, you do.” It’s not some profound advice, more my dad’s approach to life. It’s the Chambers way of life, to just do your own thing as long as you’re not purposely hurting others.

My mum, Diane, didn’t play music until she met Dad. He taught her bass guitar so they could play music together. As a little kid, we lived in the outback, where Dad was a professional fox hunter. There wasn’t much to do, so Dad would play guitar and sing around the campfire, which is where I learned to sing.

Back in 1991, Slim Dusty was looking for songs, so Dad wrote Things Are Not The Same on the Land. It won Slim a Golden Guitar, which paved the way for our family into the music industry.

Growing up in the outback and being so isolated, my older brother, Nash, and I had to be each other’s best mates. That helped us work together in adulthood, as he became my manager and still manages my career today. Nash now lives in the US, but I still feel that, above work and business, he puts his little sister’s interests first.

I don’t know if Keith Urban was just my teenager crush, as I still have a crush on him. Who doesn’t?! I first saw Keith supporting Slim Dusty long before a lot of people knew who he was. Later on, he heard me sing in Tamworth in my family’s act, the Dead Ringer Band. He told me he liked my singing.

Keith is a beautiful person who was born to play music. He is onstage because he loves it. He doesn’t know how to turn it off, which is why I relate to him because I feel exactly the same.

I am lucky enough to call Paul Kelly a friend. We tour together, sing together and are creative together. In 2018, he inducted me into the ARIA Hall Of Fame with a poem he’d written. Yet despite all of this, when his name comes up on my phone, I’m like, “OMG: it’s Paul Kelly!” Then it’s like, “Hang on, you are friends with this guy.” It’s wonderful that someone you admire ends up being a million times more than everything you’d hoped for.

My first serious adult relationship was in my early 20s when I was living on Norfolk Island. The 1999 song The Captain came out of that relationship; it’s my favourite song I’ve ever written.

I fell in love with my next partner, Cori, when we first met. Our relationship was meant to be, as it gave us our 22-year-old son, Talon. Then our relationship wasn’t meant to be, but Cori is still one of my best friends and I see him most days.

My ex-husband, Shane Nicholson, and I met through music. We sang together before we got together. We had two beautiful children, our 17-year-old son, Arlo, and 12-year-old daughter, Poet. We made the record Wreck & Ruin in 2012, but we got divorced the following year.

Shane and I wrote the duet The Divorce Song for my new album, Backbone. It’s the first song we’ve written since we were no longer married. We wrote it via text, which is a better divorce way to do it! Shane and I did divorce way better than we ever did marriage, but there’s something magical about the sound we make together.

My partner and guitar player, Brandon, is a beautiful man. What makes our relationship work is communication. We are more honest with ourselves, which makes us more honest with each other. Our relationship works pretty f---ing well, but we’ve had to work hard to get there. He is the most easy-going and patient person I’ve ever met in life, but you’d have to be to be with me.

Just Don’t Be a D**khead (Hardie Grant Books) by Kasey Chambers is out now.

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