How ‘feminine energy’ is reviving outdated gender roles

If you’ve been swept up by Barbie-mania and its candy-coloured message of female empowerment, you may have missed a TikTok trend that’s also touting ideas of an empowered woman, but from a very different point of view. “Feminine energy” is a growing TikTok trend that puts a Gen Z twist on traditional gender roles – but is it as empowering as it makes out?

Alexa Demie, Angelina Jolie and Marilyn Monroe are all examples of women who possess feminine energy, according to TikTok.

What is feminine energy?

TikTok user @drachelfiona stands in front of a mirror, doing her skincare routine while telling the audience about the “things my fiance does that allow me to stay in my divine feminine”. She explains that he “naturally takes on the role of the leader in the relationship”, planning date nights, booking vacations and dealing with major financial decisions. He also walks her to the door every time she leaves the house (“it makes me feel like a princess”) and always drives.

Another TikTok from @lilmikara, titled “How to activate your divine feminine energy”, includes tips like “take pride in your appearance whatever that means to you”, “let go of control” and “get in tune with mother nature”.

The two are among many TikTok users encouraging women to tap into their “divine feminine”. While the trend has many variations, including “dark feminine energy” (actors Alexa Demie and Megan Fox are often used as examples) and “light feminine energy” (like that apparently channelled by Sydney Sweeney and Marilyn Monroe), all ultimately come back to one central idea: that there’s an innate power within the feminine. Cultivating this is the key to women’s wellbeing, success and relationships.

The idea is hardly a niche one either – the #divinefeminine tag has clocked 2.6 billion views, while #feminineenergy 2.5 billion.

Most of its proponents are young, conventionally attractive women, and many offer paid coaching services to help people tap into their divine feminine.

Users circulate film clips of Jolie in the 2010 thriller The Tourist for example, and explain what “the Marilyn Monroe effect” is and how to achieve it.

Where did it come from?

The idea of feminine and masculine energy as complementary, essential forces is not new, with roots in spirituality and religion. In Chinese philosophy, for example, Yin is said to represent feminine energy, while Yang represents masculine.

The idea that certain traits and gender roles are linked to biology is far from new.

“The idea that men and women are meant to bring different things to a relationship – this traditional idea that men are meant to bring strength and protection and women are meant to bring love and nurture – obviously feeds into some pretty strict traditional gender roles,” says Dr Grace Sharkey, a gender and cultural studies lecturer at the University of Sydney.

These traditional roles, once the norm, have already been rewritten. Hannah McCann, senior lecturer in cultural studies at The University of Melbourne, says this idea underwent a revival through the feminist movement in the 1980s, which sought to reframe patriarchal notions of femininity and womanhood as powerful.

In more recent times, McCann says feminine energy echoes the traditional gender ideals promoted by figures such as Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson.

Femininity as a form of self-care

It’s hardly a surprise the wellness industry has embraced feminine energy, given the trend’s emphasis on self-improvement and roots in spirituality. Goop has written about “daily rituals for divine feminine energy” and the brand’s now infamous vaginal eggs even claimed to increase feminine energy when they were first released.

In the world of TikTok, feminine energy often overlaps with the language of self-care and mental health.

“When I began my own health and wellness journey, one of the biggest keys to commanding presence in a room was to embrace my feminine nature,” says user Eden Anastasia in a popular video.

“Drop the need to prove anything to anyone,” she continues. “Be careful with that one though, my love, because especially men, they love it.”

Taking care of oneself and practising self-love aren’t dangerous in and of themselves, of course. “I really like the idea that women are talking to each other about being kind to themselves and that it’s an empowering feminist ideal, because it is,” says Sharkey. But, she says this message is diluted by the overwhelming emphasis on seduction and finding a relationship.

McCann agrees. “All of it seems geared towards the purpose of this not just being an individual kind of self-cultivation, but towards a heterosexual end of attracting your dream man.”

The end of the #girlboss?

Sharkey connects this movement to the pandemic, which saw a shift in attitude towards work, particularly among young people. Quiet quitting, the great resignation, loud leaving – in the post-pandemic world, hustle culture and being a #girlboss is no longer desirable.

Similar to the #tradwife movement (short for traditional wife), feminine energy takes this impulse and makes the natural conclusion that women should return to a soft, passive life.

Kelley Bode, a relationship coach, talks about her journey from career woman to housewife. “I could not deny the visceral desire I felt in my body to do these traditionally feminine things that I thought were outdated and unimportant”.

Of course, Sharkey says, a lot of feminist work has been about how it should be OK for women to stay home and for their work to be valued. Feminism is about choice, she stresses.

However, she says that “feminine energy” explicitly connects this impulse to traditional ideas around women’s roles that are grounded in nature.

“It’s this idea that to be feminine is still being associated with being nurturing, with being a mother, with being in the home. And being feminine doesn’t necessarily mean those things.”

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