Dating my now fiancé looked complicated, but it’s the easiest thing I have done

Sharna Burgess is best known as a judge on Dancing with the Stars Australia, but she has also appeared as a professional partner on the US series. Here, the 40-year-old talks about the men who helped influence her career choices, the soul mate who helped her at her lowest, and being engaged to a one-time teenage heartthrob.

Sharna Burgess credits her “dance dad” Ray, who died three years ago, with fostering her early interest in dance.Credit: Ryan Jerome/Headpress

My paternal grandfather, Eric, was a well-respected businessman who worked in construction in Wagga Wagga. He used to make Donald Duck sounds, which made me giggle. I also remember him scooping up gravy off the plate with bread and butter. I inherited that from him! He died when I was in my teens. The family was never the same once he passed.

My dad, Ray, died three years ago. We had a very complicated relationship for most of my life, but I know that in his heart he wanted the best for me. My dance career took me all over the world and landed me on television in America. Dad was the one who took me to classes – he was like a “dance dad”. My parents divorced when I was a teen.

I had some wonderful male dance teachers between the ages of 13 and 18 – Les Foley in Wagga Wagga and Paul Green and Paul Wilson in Sydney. They believed in me and pushed me and gave me the drive I have today. Dance is a gruelling sport and these men gave me the foundation in my life to compete. I also learnt how to teach by being taught by them.

My first kiss happened at 13, at the movies. We had no idea what to do, and after it happened I remember thinking that I never wanted to be kissed by a boy again. But he was a sweetheart. We used to pass letters to one another on the bus.

Burgess with her fiancé, actor Brian Austin Green.Credit: Getty Images

My half-brother, Jason, is 15 years older than me, from my dad’s first marriage. When I was really young, I would hide in the closet just so he could find me and tickle me. And when I was just a kid, I invited him to my birthday sleepover. He probably had other things to do, but he turned up with his PJs and always made time for me.

When I moved to London at 18, I met Patrick Helm, a German guy who was looking for a dance partner. I could never have imagined finding a soul mate in him, but we became friends and dance partners for seven years and are still in touch today. He was there for me in the hardest and darkest times in my life and I wouldn’t be doing what I am without him. He will be in my wedding party.

As a teenager in the ’90s, I had a crush on Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys. In 2015, I was partnered with Nick on America’s Dancing with the Stars and had no idea who my partner was until he started walking towards me. I was like, “You’re kidding!” I had a fan-girl moment. I worked with Nick for three months. He’s an amazing man.

I’ve always been a serial monogamist. I always needed to be attached to someone and wanted to be loved. It wasn’t until I met my fiancé, actor Brian Austin Green, five years ago, that I found someone who was truly right for me.

On paper, dating Brian looked very complicated [he has three children with Megan Fox], yet it wasn’t. I knew early on that there was something different about us together. We both had the mindset of being satisfied with our lives and not looking for a relationship. We didn’t put on any facade. It is really authentic – and the easiest thing I have done.

I dated plenty of bad boys and popular boys in my time. It was exciting and fun. I dated all kinds of men, but no one who brought all the other things I wanted in a relationship. In the process of being alone, I fell in love with my own life and not needing a man. Until I met Brian.

Brian and I have a son, Zane, aged three, and plan on having another child. We are engaged, but we’re not in a rush to get married. I always dreamed more about companionship with a special person than the wedding day itself.

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